The Fourth World
by Emperorwatergate
Summary: In the Multiverse, there are many worlds. In the Fourth World, our "hero", for lack of a better term, is Yukiteru "Y2K" Amano, a not entirely law-abiding 14 year old who joins the (short-lived) Survival Game with his girlfriend, Yuno Gasai, who has some interesting quirks (like probably having Borderline Personality Disorder). I don't own Future Diary, but you knew that
1. In The Beginning

Yukiteru Amano woke up and groaned in pain.

"Note to self," he thought, "random bottles of alcohol you find lying around the house and marijuana are a very bad combination." Yuki drank and did drugs quite often, as his mother had a rather demanding job. He usually wouldn't see her for days at a time and decided that since she was gone, he could do whatever he wanted. Last night, he even hallucinated some kind of time god. He turned on his phone, called it a "fucking fuckface" after the light from it hurt his eyes, and saw that he missed school.

He was an average student with a few close friends. Unfortunately for his headache, one of those friends, Ouja Kosaka (who Yuki honestly didn't like that much and didn't really understand why they were friends) was knocking on his front door. Yuki made a half-assed attempt at throwing a dart at the dartboard in his room, walked downstairs, and opened the door.

"Ouja, Waluigi, Ouija Board, what, uh, what's- what's good you fuckin', uh, fucker?"

"Jesus, Amano. You smell like a brewery."

"Only 'cause I fuckin', um, fuckin'...I dunno, something about your mother. What do you want, dickhead?"

"Mr. Hiyama wanted me to give you today's homework. He thought you were sick or something."

"Actually, I have a severe condition called a hangover. You may have heard of it. Tell Hiyama that Y2K will do the homework when Y2K-"

"Did you just give yourself a nickname?"

"Maybe."

"You're pathetic."

"You talkin' shit, fucknuts? Because I will goddamn backhand slap you right across the mouth, I'm not fucking around."

"Blow me, asshole."

Ouja left and Yuki closed the door.

"I will shoot that cunt one of these days, I swear to fuckin' God.

" **I did not ask for you to do that, but I appreciate the thought, First.** "

"JESUS DICK WHAT."

Yuki looked around for the source of the voice and saw nothing.

"I gotta stop buying weed from Hino, that shit's laced with something."

The next day, Yuki received a text from someone identifying himself as "Deus Ex Machina", the time god he hallucinated, saying that there would be a math test that day. He also received a text containing all the answers. At school, after the test, he was hanging out with his friend Hinata Hino and her girlfriend, Mao Nonosaka.

"So, Yuki," said Hinata, "I heard that Moe Wakaba likes you."

"I genuinely could not care less."

"What's so bad about her? She's really nice."

"That's exactly the problem. She's nice. She's boring."

"Well", said Mao, "do you like anyone?"

"Actually, I am a little interested in Yuno Gasai."

"Why?"

"For one thing, she's hot as fuck. And she looks like the kind of girl who likes anal."

"What does that look like?"

"You just kinda know 'em when you see 'em. It's not an exact science. More of an art, really. And there's something else about her, something I can't quite put my finger on. I'll definitely be putting my finger in her, though. If you know what I mean."

"I-"

"I mean in her ass and pussy. Also, she was clearly eye fucking me during that test. You know what? Fuck it, I'm gonna ask her out right now."

Yuki walked over to Yuno's desk.

"Oh, um, hello, Yukiteru."

"I couldn't help but notice you staring at me during the test. You have nice eyes."

"Oh, um, thanks." Yuno blushed.

"Anyway, I thought I'd take you and your stunning eyes out to somewhere nice tonight. What do you say?"

"Your mom works long hours, right?"

"Uh...yeah, how did you know that?" asked Yuki. He then laughed because "Yuno" and "you know" sound the same.

"You got drunk and called me a few days ago. You told me what days your mom worked and for how long. You then asked me if I wanted to 'ride your dick like a horse'. You vomited and hung up before I could answer."

"Yeah, that does sound familiar."

"Takes a Hell of a lot of confidence to ask that of someone you barely know. I like cute guys with confidence. Anyway, do you think I could stay at your place tonight? My dad works long hours too and my mom's too drunk to care."

"Alright, I'll walk you to my place after school."

Yuno smiled. "It's a date. See you after school, Yuki~"

Yuki walked over to his friends.

"Did you two fucking see that? I told you she was into me. Also, Hinata, I gotta ask you something about that weed you sold me a while ago."

Author's Note: And that's the end of the first chapter!~ We met our two "heroes", and Yuki's friends (and also Ouja)~ We also saw hints of the Random Diary, Deus, and the Third!~


	2. A Love Is Born

Later that night, Yuki and Yuno were both drunk and exhausted.

"That was amazing, Yuno."

"Thanks, Yuki. I loved it, too. I never thought the first guy I had sex with would someone I barely knew, but...I dunno, I just feel close to you for some reason. But I bet all the girls say that."

"Actually...that was my first time, too."

"It was?"

"Yeah. I'm always tellin' everyone that I'm fuckin' girls all the time, but it's all bullshit. I-I always pretend like I'm some kind of cool gangster, but...I'm just a loser. I'm a pathetic, lying, drunk, high loser. My dad, before the divorce, he used to drink and do drugs all the time. He eventually gambled away most of what we owned. I always told myself that I'd never turn out like him, but...here I am now. I'm just like the bastard. I dunno why I'm tellin' you all this. Maybe it's the wine talkin', but for some reason I feel like I can open up to you. Like you're a part of me that I've been missin' my entire life. That probably sounds fuckin' stupid."

"It's not stupid. I feel the same way about you. My parents...I think they hate me. My dad works long hours so he doesn't have to be around me and my mom, and my mom, she..." Yuno started to cry.

"Hey, it's alright. I'm here for you. You can tell me."

"She...she starves me, Yuki. She locks me in a cage and starves me."

"Jesus Christ. Yuno, you-you need to tell the cops."

"I...I can't."

"Yuno, what if she doesn't let you out one day? What if she kills you?!"

"Yuki...they're my parents. Please. Don't tell anyone."

"Okay. I won't tell anyone. But if you ever need somewhere to stay, you can always come over here."

"Thanks, Yuki. You know, before I got that call from you, I was about to kill myself. When you called me, it showed me that for the first time in my life, someone cared about me. You could've called any girl you wanted, but you called me. You saved my life, Yuki. I'll always love you for that."

"I love you too, Yuno."

"So...is that weed under your bed any good?"

"No. I don't care what Hino says, bitch laced it with somethin'."

"Okay. I guess we'll just stick to the wine for tonight."

"I guess we will. Also, about earlier, during the sex, I don't really think you're a slut. That was just kinda in the heat of the moment."

"It's alright. I kinda liked it."

The two fell asleep in each other's arms. The next morning, Yuki walked Yuno to her house.

"Yuno, before you go in there...I want you to have something." Yuki pulled out a handgun from his pocket and gave it to Yuno. "In case you ever need it."

Yuno put the gun in her pocket and opened the door. They were greeted by Yuno's father shouting at her.

"Yuno, where have you been?! I got home at 5:00 AM this morning, and you weren't here! I was worried sick!"

"No, you weren't," said Yuki, with a hint of disgust and anger in his voice.

"Who the Hell is this?!"

"Dad, this is Yukiteru, my boyfriend."

"Mr. Gasai, could I talk to you outside for a minute?" Yuki calmly asked.

Yuno's father stepped outside.

"Mr. Gasai, Yuno told me that her mother has been locking her in a cage and starving her. Fortunately for you and your fucking whore of a wife, for whatever insane reason, your daughter still loves you two and has asked me not to get the police involved."

"Look, my wife, she- she's sick. Physically and mentally."

"Frankly, I wouldn't care if she had fucking AIDS. And as for the insanity, I guess that explains what she does. But it doesn't explain what you do."

"I haven't done anything!"

"Exactly. Your fucking disease-ridden cunt of a wife had been torturing your daughter, and you've done nothing to stop her. Because you're a fucking coward. The next time she hurts Yuno, you should kill your wife and yourself. Because if you don't, I will make you two fucking **pray** for death. And don't even THINK about calling the cops on me, because if I'm out of the picture, I'll tell them everything, because I know that Yuno will die in this house if I'm not there to protect her. Because you, her father, her fucking FATHER, thought that I'd ruin your worthless life. And if you call the cops, that's exactly what I'm gonna do. I honestly hope your daughter kills you. God knows she's earned that right."

Yuki walked home, went up to his room, and sighed.

"Dammit. Now I'm gonna have to get a new gun from Hino."


	3. Yuki's Fucking Pissed

Yuki was in his bedroom talking to Hinata on his phone. His mother was downstairs cooking dinner.

"No, I didn't hear anything about the serial killer. I don't really watch the news. Anyway, thanks for the new gun, Hinata. And I was right, Yuno was into anal. Talk to you later."

He hung up and heard a knock at the door.

"I'll get it, mom!"

He walked downstairs and opened the door. He was greeted by Yuno crying.

"Yuno, what happened?"

"Y-Yuki...I'm scared. S-she did it again. She was really mad this time."

"It's okay, baby. It's okay. Come sit on the couch."

He brought her into the living room.

"Hey, mom, this is my girlfriend, Yuno. Yuno, this is my mother."

"It's nice to meet you, Yuno."

"It's nice to meet you too, Ms. Amano."

"Are you alright, Yuno?"

"I'm fine, Ms. Amano. You have a lovely home."

"Thank you. Yuki, she's amazing."

"Yeah. She's the best. Listen, I gotta go out for a few minutes. I told someone I was gonna do something. I'll be right back, though."

"Alright, just be back soon. Yuno, you should stay for dinner."

"I'd love that."

Yuki went outside and started walking towards Yuno's house. When he got there, he pulled his gun out of his pocket and knocked on the door. Yuno's father opened it. Yuki pointed it at his head.

"Off work tonight, old man? Not your lucky day."

Yuki went into the house, keeping his gun pointed at Yuno's father. He saw Yuno's mother on the couch.

"Both of you, get in the fucking cage right now."

"I-"

Yuki shot him in his left foot.

"I SAID GET IN THE FUCKING CAGE OR I'LL BLOW YOUR HEAD OFF!"

At Yuki's house, his mother had finished cooking dinner.

"Yuki should be home by now. Yuno, do you know where he might have gone?"

"Actually...I think I do."

Yuki had forced Yuno's parents to get in the cage. He locked it.

"Please, for the love of God, let us out!" begged Yuno's mother.

"What kind of god would allow you two to exist?"

Yuno opened the door.

"YUKI, DON'T!"

"WHY SHOULDN'T I?! IT'S WHAT THEY FUCKING DESERVE!"

Yuno walked up to him and gently took the gun from him.

"Yuki, I want to do it."

"What?"

"I want to kill them. That's why I didn't want you to get the police involved."

Yuno pointed the gun at her parents and shot them both in the head. She hugged Yuki tightly.

"Yuki, can I come live with you?"

"Of course you can, my angel. Of course you can."

"I love you, Yuki."

"I love you too, Yuno."


	4. The Gang Is Born

Deus Ex Machina, better known as YHVH, Yahweh, Jehovah, Elohim, Sabaoth, God, and countless other names, was watching the progress of the Diary Holders. Murmur, formerly the Thirteenth Great Duke of Hell, who had been forced into the weak form of a young dark-skinned girl, noted that it was likely that the Third would be after the First and Second soon. She smiled.

" _Let the games begin,_ " she growled.

Yuki and Yuno were walking in the city together, discussing the events of last night.

"I can't get it out of my head, Yuki. I just keep thinking about them."

"Yuno, it's fine."

"No, it's not fine! Nothing about this is fine! I murdered my own parents! I fucking **executed** them! W-what if the cops find out it was us?!"

"Babe, it's alright. Everything's gonna be okay. I told my mom that I saw someone leave your house when I was walking home and when I looked inside, I saw that your parents were dead. We're the only two people who know what really happened. We're both gonna be fine."

"Okay. I hope you're right."

"I know I'm right. I would do anything to protect you. Oh, you know what would take our minds off this? If we got tattoos with each others names on them!"

Yuno laughed.

"Look at us, Yuki. We've been going out for less than a week and we're already talking about getting tattoos."

"Why not? We're in love."

Yuno smiled for the first time in two days.

"Well, now that I think about it, it does sound kinda romantic."

"There's the spirit! Okay, so what kind of tattoos should we get?"

"Well, maybe I could get a heart with 'Yuki' on it on my left shoulder."

"Alright, then I'll get a heart with 'Yuno' on it on my right shoulder."

"Oh, and I'll get a heart with 'His' on it right above my ass."

Yuki laughed.

"Seriously? You're gonna get one of those tattoos?"

"I've always thought they looked kinda sexy."

"Alright, then I guess I'll get a heart with 'Hers' on it on my back."

"That's the spirit!~"

They got the tattoos and continued their walk.

"So, Yuno, where do you wanna go now?"

"Well, I've always wanted to watch the sunset and look at the stars."

"Me too. The top of the school would be a great place to do that. We can bring some beer. Still don't trust Hino's weed, though."

"And we could have some fun together~"

"I love the way you think."

Later that night, the two of them were looking at the stars.

"Yuki, did you hear about that serial killer on the news?"

"Yeah. Don't worry about it, he won't get us up here."

"I'm still scared. Can I sit in your lap."

"Of course. I've had a boner for the past two hours, though."

"That's alright~ I have some condoms in my pocket."

"Yuno, you are the only girl I know who has a dress with pockets. Can't believe I never noticed that earlier."

"I made it myself."

"God, you're so smart. Like, you always pass every test in school with flying colors, and now you got a dress with pockets. You're a genius. And I'm just barely passing. Only reason I got an A+ on that last test was because of that weird text I got."

"What weird text?"

"Oh, right. With all that's been goin' on, I forgot to tell you. I've been gettin' these weird texts that say what's gonna happen that day. But they're never about me specifically, just shit that happens around me."

"Actually, now that you mention it, I've been getting weird texts, too. They always say what's gonna happen to you. It's...it's how I know where you were gonna be last night."

"Let's not think about that. Let's just look at the stars."

"They're beautiful."

"Not as beautiful as you."

Yuki kissed Yuno passionately, before he was interrupted by his phone receiving a text.

"Goddammit!"

"It's okay, Yuki. Just see what it says and then we can go back to kissing."

"Alright."

He opened his phone.

"'DEAD END'? What the fuck does that mean?"

"Exactly what it looks like, First. Or rather, Yukiteru."

Yuki and Yuno got up and turned around to see a red-haired man in a gas mask wielding a machete.

"What did I JUST warn you about, Yuki?!"

"Who the fuck are you, asshole?! Come any closer, and I'll blow your goddamn head off!"

"Oh, Yukiteru. You know who I am. We see each other all the time. A pity you'll never know who I am before I kill you both."

Yuno shot at the man.

"Stay away from him, you bastard!"

The bullet bounced off him.

"Dammit!" said Yuki, "Fucker's wearing body armor!"

"That's correct, First. My armor and mask are bulletproof. Neither you or the Second will be able to hurt me. But, you know what they say. Third time's the charm!"

The Third ran at Yuki, only to be tackled by a man wearing a white bag over his head.

"STOP RIGHT THERE, CRIMINAL SCUM!" shouted the man.

"What the FUCK?" exclaimed the other three at the same time.

"You shall never hurt any innocent soul again!"

"Who the fuck are you?" asked the Third.

"What, are you dense? Are you retarded or something? Who the Hell do you think I am? I'm the **GODDAMN TWELFTH.** "

"...Seriously? You're a Diary Holder?"

The Third pushed the Twelfth off of him and laughed.

"Looks like this is my lucky night."

He ran at the Twelfth and tripped on one of Yuki's empty beer bottles.

"Oh, SHIT!"

He fell off the building and hit the ground.

"That's a lot of blood," said Yuno.

"That was fucking **retarded,** " said Yuki.

"Holy shit, I actually defeated a criminal!" said the Twelfth, "Technically."

The three of them were then teleported to Deus' realm.

"Oh, what fresh Hell is this?" asked Yuki.

The three were standing next to a middle-aged man dressed like a police officer, a young boy, a smiling young woman with dark hair holding a ball, a man and a woman wearing matching sunglasses, a middle-aged woman, an attractive woman wearing a dress, a man who Yuki recognized as Karyuudo Tsukishima, Hinata's father (she took her mother's maiden name; she had a rather strained relationship with her father), and a man who everyone recognized as John Bacchus, the mayor of Sakurami City.

"What are you smiling about?" the attractive woman asked the smiling young woman.

"Why shouldn't I be smiling? We're going to meet God!"

"Or something that calls itself God," said the woman, with a distinct hint of disgust at the word "God".

"You don't believe in God?"

"Of course not. No god would let my parents die in that shithole desert."

"I understand how you feel. When my parents died, my life got really bad. I...I went through some bad things. But the one thing that kept me hopeful throughout all of it was this ball. My mother gave it to me when I was a child. Not once has this ball ever left my side. It's never been lost or destroyed. I took that as a sign from God that everything was gonna be okay. Without it, I don't even want to think about what would happen to me. And now I get to thank Him personally! And...I want to ask him to bring my parents back."

"You're an interesting girl. What's your name?"

"Tsubaki Kasugano."

"I'm Minene Uryu."

" _All right everyone, shut the fuck up,_ " said Murmur, " _It's bad enough that I get sent here just when I got that promotion from Earl, I don't wanna listen to a group of mortals all day._ "

" **Be nice to our guests, Murmur. The fate of the universe is in their hands. Now, everyone, here is what is going on. You are all in a Survival Game, devised by the Eleventh, who you all know as Mayor Bacchus. Each Diary Holder has a precognitive Future Diary, each with its own unique ability. The last one standing becomes my successor as God. Any questions?** "

Yuki raised his hand.

" **Yes, First?** "

"Yeah, I'm not doin' this."

" **I...beg your pardon?** "

"I'm. Not. Doing. This. I'm not gonna kill a ton of people I've never even met before just because you want me to."

" **You must. I am your God.** "

"And I don't give a shit."

" _Y'know, I have some problems with this whole thing myself. I mean, look at your candidates. Yukiteru Amano, the First, is a petty criminal. Yuno Gasai, the Second, probably has more budding mental problems than an entire asylum. Takao Hiyama, the Third, was a serial killer. Keigo Kurusu, the Fourth, isn't even interested in being God. Reisuke Houjou, the Fifth, is FOUR. YEARS. OLD. Tsubaki Kasugano, the Sixth, doesn't wanna be God either. Marco Ikusaba and Ai Mikami, the Seventh, don't really wanna be gods, noticing a pattern here? Kamado Ueshita, the Eighth, doesn't wanna be God. Minene Uryu, the Ninth, is a terrorist that hates you. Karyuudo Tsukishima, the Tenth, only cares about his dogs. John Bacchus, the Eleventh, is a Nazi. And Yomotsu Hirasaka, the Twelfth, is an insane vigilante. Like, I'm a DEMON and I'm questioning your choices._ "

"This is ridiculous!" said John, "Don't listen to her!"

" _You do realize that there's a good chance of you being killed in the Game, right?_ "

John stopped talking.

" _That's what I thought. Punk bitch._ "

" **Well, Matthias-** "

" _I told you, my name is MURMUR now._ "

" **Well, Murmur, what do you suggest we do?** "

" _Maybe instead of one successor, you should choose all of them. A pantheon. Maybe they could, I dunno, balance each other out. Also, off-topic, but for a humor fic this hasn't been very funny so far. Just sad. Oh, and Fourth, you should probably get your son to a doctor or something. Just in case._ "

" **Interesting proposal, Murmur. Alright, we shall go with your idea. The Game is officially CANCELLED. You shall all keep your Diaries as a token of my generosity, though. Might as well bring back the Third.** "

Takao appeared out of a swirling void.

"OH, GOD! OH, DEAR FUCKING GOD! THAT WAS SO PAINFUL! THERE WAS SO MUCH FIRE!"

"Hi, Mr. Hiyama," said Yuno.

"Hello, Yuno."

"How have you been?" asked Yuki.

"...I've been better, Yukiteru. I've been much better."

"Hey, God!" said Tsubaki, "That reminds me, can you...can you bring my parents back? Please?"

" **I am sorry, Sixth, but I cannot.** "

"W...what? But- but you just brought him back!"

" **I can only bring back the souls of Diary Holders that have not been killed by other Holders, not including himself. And even then, there is but a small window of opportunity until the soul is assigned their permanent afterlife. If I had waited any longer, the Third would still be burning in Hell.** "

" _You have no idea how many times that dumbass killed himself accidentally when I first gave him his Murder Diary._ "

"But...but...that's...that's not fair..." Tsubaki quietly protested. She started to cry.

" **I apologize, Sixth, but I-** "

"THAT'S NOT FAIR, YOU SON OF A BITCH! THAT'S NOT FAIR! THAT'S NOT! FUCKING! FAIR! YOU BASTARD! YOU FUCKING PIECE OF SHIT! YOU'RE GOD, YOU CAN DO WHATEVER THE FUCK YOU WANT!"

" **I am not omnipotent-** "

"YOU'RE NOT OMNIPOTENT?! YOU'RE NOT FUCKING OMNIPOTENT! BULLSHIT! FUCKING BULLSHIT! YOU'RE A FUCKING BULLSHIT ASSHOLE GOD! AND-AND YOU WERE JUST GONNA LET US KILL EACH OTHER EARLIER?! THE FIFTH IS FOUR YEARS OLD!"

" **But I cancelled-** "

"I DON'T CARE! YOU WERE STILL GONNA FUCKING DO IT, YOU FUCKING SOCIOPATH! YOU'RE EVIL! YOU'RE AN EVIL FUCKING GOD! YOU'RE AN IMPOTENT FUCKING EVIL FUCKING PATHETIC EXCUSE FOR A GOD! AND IF YOU'RE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU'RE NOT BENEVOLENT, THEN WHY THE FUCK SHOULD I CALL YOU GOD?!"

"Told you he wasn't God," said Minene.

" **...ANYWAY, all of you should pack your belongings. When you are finished packing, you will all be teleported to a large house, where you will each have your own rooms. Murmur will inform your loved ones of the situation. They can visit whenever they wish. The house is on the edge of the city. Eleventh, I have already sent someone to fill in for you as acting mayor.** "

In city hall, everyone was getting used to the new mayor.

" _I, MAYOR BAEL, THE CAT, FROG, AND MAN-HEADED SPIDER, FORMERLY THE FIRST KING OF HELL, SUGGEST TAX CUTS FOR ALL ECONOMIC CLASSES OF MORTAL!_ "

Author's Note: And that;s the end of the beginning!~ Now we can get into the main story (if you can even call it that), which is basically just whatever the Holders decide to do that day~


	5. It's Always Sunny In Sakurami City

The Diary Holders (except for Tsubaki, who wasn't there for some reason) had just settled into their new home. Keigo had just walked in the door. Yuki and Yuno were sitting on the couch, watching TV.

"So, in the comics, that guy was a zombie?" asked Yuno.

"Yeah, he was called Solomon Grundy. In the show they just turned him into a guy on Mirakuru. Oh, hey Keigo."

"Hello, Yuki. Hello, Yuno."

"Where were you all day?"

"I was visiting Yoi at the hospital. The doctors say he'll make a full recovery. I still don't know why Murmur told me about it, though."

"Well, Tsubaki's into all that religious shit. Maybe you can ask her when she comes home."

"Maybe. Anyway, I need to ask you two a few questions about the murders of Yuno's parents."

"...Babe, could you go in the kitchen and see how my cake is doing?"

Yuno went into the kitchen.

"What do you know about their deaths so far, Keigo?"

"Well, my Diary tells me about crimes that I'll investigate within a period of about 3 months. However, it only tells me what I'll learn about the crimes, not what others cops will learn about them. So far, it doesn't seem that I'll learn much about it. It'll be a cold case. Officially, anyway."

"Officially?"

"Well, my Diary also only tells me what I'll put on the police report. If I learn something about a case but I don't put it on the report, my Diary won't show it. But I expected it to show something because...well, to be frank with you, Yuki, it seems like an open-and-shut case. You're the only known witness to the murders, and the bullets we found would work with your gun. You bought a cage, went to the Gasai residence, forced Yuno's parents into the cage at gunpoint, shot her father in the foot to let him know you were serious, and then shot them both in the head."

"...Yeah, I did it. I killed them. What are you gonna do about it, send me to jail? Oh wait, you can't. We have to live in the house together. The worst you could do is put me under house arrest like Takao and Minene."

Keigo looked into Yuki's eyes.

"I was wrong. You didn't kill them."

"Y-yes, I did! I killed them!"

"I've been a cop for a long time, kid. I know when someone's lying to me. And I know why you lied to me. House arrest isn't the worst thing I could do. The worst thing I could do is tell other people that you killed them, like I did with the serial killer. I could make it impossible for you to get a job or get into a good university. I could ruin your life outside of this house. We both know that. You don't want that to happen to the real killer. Yuno killed her parents, didn't she? You're protecting her."

Yuki became quiet for a few moments, and then started to talk again.

"You have no idea what they were doing to her, do you? Well, let me give you a hint. They already owned the cage. And because of what those fucking cunts did to Yuno, she has to go a therapist and take meds. She says she got diagnosed with Borderline Personality Disorder or some shit, usually caused by a history of childhood trauma. Tell me, Keigo, if someone you loved more than anything in the world was in danger, would you do anything to protect them, no matter who gets hurt?"

Keigo thought of his son, Yoi.

"Yes, I would."

Yuno came back into the living room and sat down with Yuki.

"So what did you need to ask us, Keigo?"

"...Nothing, Yuno. Nothing at all."

"Alright. By the way, Yuki, the cake's ready."

"Great. This is gonna be fuckin' hilarious."

Minene walked out of her room.

"Did you guys say something about cake?"

"Yeah, I just made one. Looks like you finally got a normal hairstyle and some normal clothes."

"Fuck you, Yuki. That outfit was for the atmosphere. You can't blow up a church in jeans and a tank top."

"Was it empty?"

"Yeah. Except for the deacon. Anyway, I'm gonna have some cake."

Minene took a bite out of the cake and paused.

"Yuki...what exactly is in this cake?"

Takao angrily walked out of his room.

"WHO FUCKING SHAVED MY HEAD WHEN I WAS ASLEEP?!"

"Oh fuck, I'm gonna be sick!"

Minene ran into the bathroom.

"So, Takao," said Yuki, "why are you wearing the gas mask?"

"I was wearing it and looking at myself in the mirror. It makes me feel powerful."

"Y'know, I've noticed something about you, Takao."

"What?"

"You're a big guy."

"I fucking hate you, Yukiteru."

Tsubaki walked in the house with a box full of her things. Her ball was sitting on top.

"Where were you?" asked Keigo.

"Packing. I guess I'm pretty lucky all my things are okay, because there was a mysterious fire that burned down the temple."

"A fire?"

"Yeah. Just appeared for no reason, destroying the temple and killing every single child-raping piece of shit inside. Started right after I brought my things outside. Murmur teleported me here."

"So everything you own's alright?"

"Yeah, except for those matches and that can of gasoline I bought today."

"Funny how life works. Anyway, I was meaning to ask you about Murmur. Yuki said you're into all that religious shit."

"I...was. Before I met God. So, what do you wanna know?"

"Why did she tell me about my son's heart condition?"

"So you'd owe him."

"Him?"

"Murmur is commonly referred to as a male in most occult literature. Though, most demons are technically genderless since they have no way of reproducing. Except for incubi and succubi, which are explicitly male and female."

"Weird."

"Yeah. Now that I think about it, he probably had the Game cancelled so we'd all owe him. And you're a cop, so you stop criminals; in other words, you're the enemy of sinners. A demon would absolutely love the thought of having a cop owe them not only once, but twice."

"That's fucked up."

"Yeah. Hey, Yuki, can I have some weed?"

"Sure. There's some cake in the kitchen if you get hungry later."

"DON'T LISTEN TO THE LITTLE SHIT!" shouted Minene from the bathroom.


	6. Small Talk

Tsubaki, Yuno, and Yuki were in the living room watching TV and talking about whatever was on their minds.

"So," said Tsubaki, "Kamado's orphanage is doing pretty good."

"Good for her," said Yuno.

"This is fucking bullshit," said Yuki, "We all know that neither of us wants to talk to each other, but there's nothing on TV, so for whatever reason we have to force awkward small talk using whatever random shit we can think of."

"Dude, I was just huffing spray paint by myself when you guys walked in."

"...So, anyway, I heard that John is funding the orphanage."

"The cracker?"

"Huh. Guess the old Nazi fuck has a soft spot for kids. Much like my soft spot for painkillers."

"Where's he from, anyway?"

"I dunno. He's not Japanese, that's all I know."

"I have a serious drug problem, you guys."

"Guess we can ask him."

"Alright. Yo, honky!"

John walked into the room.

"What do you want, Amano?"

"What kind of white are you?"

"I'm Italian."

"...Seriously?"

"Yes. 'Bacchus' is a Roman name. Growing up, I always admired Mussolini. He was a great leader, like Alexander or Caesar. People respected and feared them. When I grew up, I traveled Europe, wishing to walk in the footsteps of these titans. I ended up in Germany, where I became fascinated by Adolf Hitler. I felt it was natural to journey to the third Axis Power, and I moved to Japan. I'll admit, I casually dismissed the Japanese as inferior to whites at first, but then I went to Sakurami City. I felt something different about the people in this city. I felt potential. I was going to create a master race out of the citizens of Sakurami, but that didn't quite work out, as you can see."

"Are you pissed about God replacing you with Mayor Bael?"

"Oh, not at all. If God has decided that the demon would be a better mayor than I, that is his decision. And I'm still the richest man in the city, so I don't really care.

"If you're a Nazi, why're you wearin' a Jew hat?"

"While I dislike the Jewish race, the religion is quite fascinating. And it looks good on me."

Reisuke, having just woken up, walked in the room.

"Hi, big brother!"

"I'm not your brother," said Yuki.

"I'm still gonna call you that. Big sister-

"She's not your sister, either."

"-Can I talk to you about something?"

"Of course, Reisuke," said Yuno.

"Well, last night, I was trying to sleep, but I kept hearing noises coming from the kitchen."

Yuno's face turned red. Tsubaki could barely contain her laughter..

"U-um, noises?"

"Yeah, really loud noises. I couldn't sleep at all."

"Oh, uh...Yuki, you wanna handle this one?"

"Why? I have literally no relation to this 4 year old-"

"I just turned five yesterday."

"I don't remember that."

"That's because Minene laced your weed as revenge for the hair cake," said Tsubaki, "You were in your room freaking out until Yuno calmed you down."

"Oh," said Yuki. He laughed. "I'll never forget that part. Anyway, why do I have to explain it to him?"

"Because you're partially responsible for those noises," said Yuno.

"Christ, alright, I'll tell him. Uh, anyway, Reisuke, if you're scared of monsters in the kitchen-"

"Actually, I was gonna ask you and big sister to stop fucking in the kitchen when I'm trying to sleep."

"...Make us, you little ginger cunt."

"YUKI! We'll, uh, keep it down from now on, Reisuke."

"Thank you, big sister~"

He looked at Tsubaki.

"Hello."

"Hey, kid."

There was an awkward silence until Tsubaki spoke.

"I'm not sorry about letting your parents burn to death. They didn't do jack shit while I was being raped for all those years."

"And I'm not sorry that your life turned out to be shit and you had to resort to drugs to feel any sort of happiness."

"You little shit, I swear I'll fucking feed you to Karyuudo's dogs one day."

Murmur appeared in a cloud of smoke.

" _Attention, mortals. God really fucked up today._ "


	7. Angel Of The Lord

The white-haired boy was walking down the street in a crime-rich part of the city. He was seemingly deaf to the sounds of violence around him. The truth of the matter is that he was in his own world, thinking about what he had just learned. His name- his former name, anyway- was Aru Akise. Right now, however, he was the Observer. The Hand Of God. He had been given revelations by the Lord about his purpose- to watch over the Diary Holders- and he had found it...well, he found it fucking retarded.

At least, that's what Aru thought- the Observer used less vulgar terms. It didn't matter what Aru thought. Aru was gone, and there was only the Observer. The Light Given Flesh. The Angel In Human Form. After learning about the Holders, he realized that they were unworthy- although he admitted that the First and the Sixth had potential, in his opinion (though that's likely because he found them attractive). A group of criminals and sociopaths couldn't be gods.

He believed that he should be a god, as he was not human. Not anymore. He had cast off his false humanity (or entered what the demon Murmur referred to as a "psychotic break from reality") and accepted his origins. Aru, as far as he was concerned, was dead. He had died when he learned the truth. The Observer was born. He was going to punish the sinners of this world and create a pure world, free from sin. A new Eden.

As he was walking down the road, the Observer saw a group of men robbing a woman. Aru would have thought that once they had their money, they would leave the woman alone. The Observer knew better.

" **Excuse** me," he said to one of the men.

"The fuck you want-"

The man paused when he looked at the Observer. He noticed that his eyes were bright red.

" **Leave** , sinner."

"Why don't get outta here before you get hurt?"

" **Thou** cannot **hurt** me. **I** am **the** Observer. **Thou** art **sinners**. Thou **will** burn **in** His **holy** light-"

The man stabbed him in the throat. The Observer did not react. He simply stared at the man while his wound started to give off a bright, luminescent white glow. He turned to the woman.

" **Run** , innocent **one**."

As the woman ran away, the men (five of them in total) stared at the Observer in horror as his throat healed in under two minutes. He grabbed the man who stabbed him by the neck and stared into his eyes.

"Thou **shalt** not **kill**."

The man screamed in pain and terror as a burning white light covered him. When it disappeared, all that was left was a charred corpse. He turned towards the other four men. What neither the men nor the delusional angel knew was that the woman had called the police when she ran off. A police car arrived and stopped. A brown-haired man got out. His name was Masumi Nishijima.

"SCPD! Put your hands on your heads and-"

He noticed the burning body on the ground.

"Oh."

"Is **thou** going **to** interfere **in** my **holy** mission?"

"Oh, I do not get paid enough for this bullshit."

Meanwhile, at the house, Murmur was informing everyone of the situation.

" _So, Deus, in all his infinite 'wisdom', decided to create an Observer to make sure you fucktards didn't kill each other. Not naming names- YUKI, YUNO, TAKEO, REISUKE, MARCO, MINENE, AND JOHN-, but He thought that it was likely, if not inevitable, that some of you would get pissed and try to- you guessed it- kill each other. What he did was create an artificial human, basically an angel, named him Aru Akise, and gave him the appearance and personality of a normal bisexual fourteen year old boy._ "

"Why'd He make him bi?" asked Tsubaki.

" _Well, Deus thought that the best way to make sure he keeps an eye on you fuckers is if he had the ability to be sexually attracted to all of you. We gave him pictures that I took of all of you while you were sleeping last night- I don't even wanna know why Yuki and Yuno were passed out naked on the kitchen table-, but he only seemed to be interested in Yuki and Tsubaki._ "

"If he even thinks about touching my Yuki, I'll crack his fucking skull!" said Yuno angrily.

"Babe, chill out," said Yuki.

" _Anyway, when Aru was informed of his purpose he kinda went completely batshit insane. Real existential crisis shit. It was hilarious. This resulted in two personalities being created: the Aru personality, which was suppressed, and the Observer personality, who's on some Old Testament-level insanity. And Deus made him basically immortal, because he knew Yuno would have that reaction. While you can't kill him, if he is injured enough, he'll lose control of his abilities, which manifest as burning holy light. Kid's a walking nuke. He goes down, you all go down. What Deus wants you to do is sedate him so I can bring him to Deus' realm, where He'll fix the insanity._ "

"...And why should we do this?" asked Minene.

"So he doesn't kill us all," said Yuki, "I'm in."

"If Yuki's in, I'm in!~" said Yuno.

"As long as I at least get to injure him a little bit, I'm in," said Takeo.

"Someone needs to watch Hiyama and Uryu. I'm in," said Keigo.

"Could be fun. I'm in!~" said Reisuke.

"Fuck it, nothing better to do. I'm in," said Tsubaki.

"I'm a big fan of living, so I'm in," said Marco.

"If Marco's in, I'm in," said Ai.

"We need to protect this city and everyone in it. I'm in," said Kamado.

"As long as I get to blow something up or ride a motorcycle, I'm in," said Minene.

"My dogs live in this city. I'm in," said Karyuudo.

"If this little bastard thinks he can be a threat to my city, he's got another thing coming. I'm in," said John.

"This evildoer must be stopped at any cost! I'm in!" said Yomotsu.

" _Alright, cool, so you guys sit here and think of a plan, I'm gonna go possess some people for fun._ "

Murmur left. Keigo got a phone call from Officer Nishijima.

"Sir-"

"Please, we're friends. Call me Keigo."

"Yeah, okay, um, Keigo, I'm hiding in a dumpster right now, you're not gonna believe this shit."

Note: The next chapter or two will focus more on the less prominent Diary Holders as they think of a plan, like the Sevenths and the Tenth!~


	8. Yuki Vs Everybody

"Okay, guys," said Yuki, "we all got our weapons? I got my darts and gun."

"I got my gun," said Yuno.

"I have my machete," said Takeo.

"I have my gun," said Keigo, "And I still think it's a bad idea to give Hiyama and Uryu weapons."

"I have my needles and gas canisters!" said Reisuke.

"We're seriously bringing a five year old with us?" said Ai.

"I think you'd be surprised to learn he's one of the smartest and most dangerous people here," said John.

"Considering the fucktards that live here, I'm really not."

"Hey, focus!" said Yuki, "Tsubaki, what about you?"

"I have a knife and some heroin."

"Weaponized heroin?" asked John, "Interesting idea."

"Hey, fuck off, cracker. Get your own."

"Guys-" said Yuki.

"Well, you're the one that brought up the heroin in the first place."

"Guys-"

"Yeah, well, it's still mine."

"GUYS-"

"I don't even want it!"

"Good, more for me!"

"GUYS!-"

"You got any weed?" asked Marco.

"You know it, bitch. There's some good shit under Yuki's bed."

"GUYS- WAIT, WHAT?! DON'T EVEN FUCKING THINK ABOUT TOUCHING MY WEED!"

"Fuck you, wannabe-ass gangster, I'mma get lit!" said Marco.

"Blaze it, dog!"

"I fucking love dogs," said Karyuudo.

"SHUT THE FUCK UP, TSUBAKI! NOBODY EVEN FUCKING CARES ABOUT YOU, YOU STONER GOTH CUNT!"

"Oh, I'm the stoner? It's YOUR weed, dipshit!"

"OH, THAT'S RIGHT, YOU'RE NOT A STONER, YOU'RE A FUCKIN' JUNKIE! AND THAT'S NOT EVEN GETTING INTO THE GUYS YOU BRING HOME! NONE OF US CAN GET ANY FUCKING SLEEP!"

"YOU HYPOCRITICAL ASSHOLE! YOU AND YUNO FUCK EVERY NIGHT AND YOU'RE LOUDER THAN I AM!"

"WELL, AT LEAST WE ACTUALLY HAVE A MEANINGFUL RELATIONSHIP AND WE DON'T HAVE TO USE DRUGS, BOOZE, AND ANONYMOUS SEX TO FILL THE VOID IN OUR LIVES CAUSED BY CRIPPLING DEPRESSION!"

"YOU DRINK MORE THAN I DO!"

"Hey, fuck off, Yuki," said Ai.

"STAY OUT OF THIS, CUNT!"

"OH, I KNOW YOU DIDN'T JUST SAY THAT TO MY GIRL!"

"MAYBE I DID, MARCO, WANNA FIGHT ABOUT IT?!"

"How about we all just relax and talk about our problems?" asked Kamado.

"PISS OFF, YOU FAT CUNT!"

"THAT IS NO WAY TO TALK TO A LADY, YOU LITTLE BASTARD!" angrily shouted John.

"OH, THE NAZI'S GONNA LECTURE ME ABOUT BEING POLITE! THIS SHOULD BE FUCKIN' HILARIOUS!"

"Yeah, I gotta side with the kid on this one," said Minene.

"You're a terrorist, you have no right to judge anyone," said Takeo.

"The pot calls the kettle FUCKING BLACK!"

"First time in my life, I'm siding with the terrorist," said Keigo.

"Terrorism is a worse crime than a few murders, I'm going with Hiyama on this one," said Yomotsu.

"AT LEAST I HAVE A REASON FOR BLOWING SHIT UP, HIYAMA JUST KILLS PEOPLE BECAUSE IT'S FUN!"

"It really is a great way to pass the time after work," said Takeo, "Or it was, until Kurusu cost me my job!"

"Are- are you fucking serious?! ARE YOU ACTUALLY SAYING THAT I SHOULDN'T HAVE TOLD PEOPLE YOU'RE A SERIAL KILLER?!"

"That is a rather ridiculous statement, Hiyama," said Karyuudo.

"At least I don't love my dogs more than my own daughter."

"OH, SHIT!" said Tsubaki.

"SHOTS MOTHERFUCKIN' FIRED!" said Yuki.

"He has a point," said Reisuke.

"He really does," said Kamado.

"Yeah, that's just not cool, Karyuudo," said Keigo, "We all know what kinda shit your kid gets up to."

"She got it from me! How do you think I got rich in the first place?!"

"That's actually worse."

"Yeah, that's fucked up," said Tsubaki.

"I can respect it," said John, "Regardless of his paternal skills, Karyuudo's a self-made man. Does it really matter how he made his fortune?"

"John, out of curiosity, do you actually hear yourself when you talk, or...?" asked Ai.

"Yeah, your brain just kinda took a shit out your mouth, dude," said Yuki.

"At least I never gave myself an idiotic nickname."

"Oh. Oh, you did not fucking just DISS THE FUCKIN' Y2K!"

"I understand, big brother. I've been trying to get people to call me 'Rei' for months. Hasn't worked once," said Reisuke.

"THANK YOU, REI! NEVER THOUGHT I'D FUCKIN' SAY THAT!"

"Yeah, it's still pretty fuckin' retarded," said Marco.

"WHAT WAS THAT, MARKY-MARK?! I'LL FUCK YOU UP! YOU AND YOUR SLUT GIRLFRIEND!"

"I'LL FUCKIN' STAB YOU, CUNT!"

" _ **EVERYONE, SHUT UP! SHUT UP, SHUT UP, SHUT UP, SHUT THE FUCK UP! JUST SHUT THE FUCK UP, GODDAMMIT! I CAN'T TAKE IT ANYMORE!**_ " screamed Yuno as she emptied her gun into the ceiling.

"Baby, chill, alright? Just calm down," said Yuki, "We're calm now. We're all cool, right guys?"

Everyone said yes.

"I-I'm sorry, Yuki, I don't know what came over me. T-the therapist s-said that the pills would help me control myself, but when everyone started fighting, i-it reminded me of my parents. They fought all the time and my mom would always lock me in the cage after. I-I blacked out and when I woke up, I had the gun in my hand and I was so scared, I-I thought I might've hurt someone, o-or..." Yuno started to cry. "I'm so sorry, Yuki, I-I-"

Yuki hugged her. "It's okay, baby. It's okay. It's not your fault. Just calm down, okay? I love you, baby. Just relax. It's okay. Everything's gonna be okay. I'm here for you, baby, I'm here for you. You should go lay down and relax. I love you, baby. It's okay." Yuki started to tear up a little.

"I love you too, Yuki."

Yuno went to her and Yuki's room.

"Alright, you fuckers made Yuno cry, who wants to get fucking shot first?"

Murmur appeared in a cloud of smoke.

" _Fuck, are you retards still not ready? Hate to interrupt your little moment here, but the Observer's still killing criminals, and he's just a few bullet wounds away from going nuclear. I brought the sedative, by the way._ "


	9. Inventory Check

"Alright, let's try this again," said Yuki, "Weapons? I got my gun, my darts, and the syringe filled with Murmur's sedative."

"I got my gun, a knife from the kitchen, and an ax I found in the basement!~" said Yuno.

"We have a basement?"

"Yeah, there's tons of stuff down there! Deus probably put all of it there in case we needed it."

"Cool. Meat shield- I mean, Takao, you got your machete?"

"Yes."

"Good. Now-"

"Why am I a meat shield?"

"Because we all hate you. Keigo?"

"Armed and ready. If that thing even thinks about hurting one of my officers, I'll make it pray for death."

"That's the spirit. Rei?"

"Got the needles, my gas canisters, and my puppets!"

"Why do you need the puppets?"

"They help me to not focus on the fact that Tsubaki orphaned me."

"Oh, almost forgot about her. I think she's still in her room. YO, JUNKIE!"

"I'M COMING, DICKHEAD!" Tsubaki swallowed some painkillers. "I wonder if I'll die today." She sighed. "Probably not. I'm not that lucky." She walked out of her room and joined the others. "I got my knife."

"Nice. Marco?"

"I got a knife. Don't really need it, but y'know, just in case."

"We got a lot of knives here. Ai?"

"A metric fuckton of knives."

"Okay, does anyone besides me, Yuno, and Keigo have a gun? Anybody?"

"I got a gun and some grenades," said Minene.

"Alright, so that's four guns. Not bad, not bad at all, but it could be better. Kamado, you're going to stay here with John and Karyuudo as our mission control."

"Good, I detest violence."

"I love violence, but I prefer having others do it for me," said John.

"I agree," said Karyuudo.

"Yomotsu, how about you? You got any weapons?"

"A hero of my skill needs no weapons!"

"Whatever. Your funeral, dude. Okay, weapons are accounted for, moving on to our Diaries. My Observance Diary says that we're going to win, but that might change."

"My Yuki Diary says that nothing's gonna happen to Yuki in the next 10 minutes."

"My Murder Diary says that I'm not going to kill anyone today. Dammit."

"My Criminal Investigation Diary says that there's not gonna be a police report about any of this."

"Okay, so Takao and Keigo are useless," said Yuki, "Rei, what about you?"

"My Hyper Vision Diary says that our attack on the Observer is gonna happen this afternoon and end in our victory sometime during this evening."

"My Clairvoyant Diary is showing what the members of my former cult are currently seeing...so, in other words, what Marco and Ai are seeing right now. By the way, smart move infiltrating my cult like that."

"Thanks, kid. My Exchange Diary says that nothing's gonna happen to Ai in the immediate future."

"And my Exchange Diary says that nothing's gonna happen to Marco in the immediate future."

"My Propagation Diary doesn't predict the future, it only gives out Apprentice Diaries."

"That sucks. Minene?"

"My Escape Diary only tells me how to...well, the fuckin' name's pretty self-explanatory."

"So you got the coward's diary."

"Fuck you."

"That's Yuno's job. Karyuudo?"

"My Breeder's Diary is ready to control my small army of dogs."

"Never thought I'd hear that in my life. Cracker?"

"The Watcher is currently spying on the contents of your Diaries and taking note of your locations."

"The location thing could be useful. Daredevil rip-off, what about you?"

"My Justice Diary has been telling me of the Observer's rampage all day and it's not going to stop until we intervene. TO THE TWELFTHMOBILE!"

"You mean the black Chevrolet in the garage?"

"Yes, I named it the TWELFTHMOBILE!"

"That is totally queer."

"Shut up."


	10. All-Star Twelfth And First

The gang (minus Kamado, John, and Karyuudo, who were at the house, and minus Keigo, the Sevenths, and Minene, who were in Keigo's police car driving ahead of them) were driving towards the scene of the Observer's rampage in Yomotsu's auto-piloted Twelfthmobile. Yomotsu was in the front seat, Tsubaki was in the passenger seat, Takao was in the left back seat, Yuki was in the middle back seat, Yuno was in the right back seat, and Rei was sitting in Yuno's lap. Takao's hair had still not grown back yet.

"So, Takao," said Yuki, "Can I ask you something?"

"I swear to fucking God, Yukiteru, if you quote that goddamn Batman movie ONE MORE TIME..."

"Oh, I'm not gonna quote. No, man, I just wanted to ask you a question."

Takao sighed.

"Fine, ask me your question. Is it about how many people I've killed? How I've avoided capture for so long? Or is it about how pissed I am that we're only going to use our weapons on the Observer as a last resort?"

"Actually, I was going to ask why you'd shoot a man before throwing him out of a plane."

"I fucking hate you, Yukiteru."

"You're not the first person who's told me that repeatedly, and you're not gonna be the last. And Yomotsu-"

"Don't say it."

"About the car-"

"Don't say it."

"The Twelfthmobile? Seriously? I mean-"

"Not one word. I've taken enough grief for calling my goddamn car the goddamn Twelfthmobile. I'm the goddamn Twelfth and I can call my goddamn car whatever the Hell I want to call it."

"Hey, Tsubaki," said Yuno, trying to relieve the tension in the car, "why don't you sing a driving song for us? The Twelfthmobile doesn't have a radio and from what I've heard during your drug-inspired karaoke sessions in your room, you have a lovely singing voice."

"Oh, um, alright. Thanks, Yuno. Um...okay, I got one:

Raindrops on roses

And whiskers on kittens

Bright copper kettles

And warm woolen mittens

Brown paper packages tied up with strings

These are a few of my favorite things-"

"Yeah, no, we're not doin' that one," said Yuki.

"It's a beautiful song!"

"Not the way you sing it, Tsubaki. Not the weird, slow, childlike way you sing it. It's creepy."

"It is not!"

"Tsubaki, the original song was cute and heartwarming. Your version is what people who cut themselves listen to."

"It wasn't...that creepy," said Yuno, "Maybe just a little bit, but not really creepy."

"I loved it," said Takao.

"Creeped the shit out of me," said Yomotsu.

"It was alright, I guess," said Rei.

The Twelfthmobile stopped.

"The goddamn Twelfthmobile is out of goddamn gas," said Yomotsu, "I knew I should've listened to my wife."

"Yeah, you- wait, what?"

"What is it, First?"

"You have a wife?"

"Yes, her name's Maken."

"Huh."

"What?"

"Nothing, it's just..."

"Why is the fact that I'm married so surprising to you?"

"..."

"Do you think I would be repulsive to women?"

"..."

"I deserve an answer, First."

"Guys, I hate to interrupt this thrilling conversation, but how the fuck are we gonna follow the others?" asked Tsubaki.

Yuki noticed a school bus driving towards them.

"...Guys, I've just had the worst idea ever."

"What is it, big brother?" asked Rei.

"Well, first I have to ask you guys something. Have you ever carjacked someone before?"

Note: The next chapter will focus on Keigo, the Sevenths, and Minene!~


	11. Marco's High School Memories

While the others were having car trouble, Keigo was driving the Sevenths and Minene (who were all in the back seat) towards the Observer's rampage.

"Don't make me regret taking off that ankle bracelet, Uryu," said Keigo.

"I won't, pigfucker."

"So, what's our plan for this guy?" asked Marco.

"Yeah, we know it ends with Yuki giving him the sedative, but what happens before that?" asked Ai.

"Well, I'm fairly certain it involves using Hiyama as a distraction. According to the vigilante, the Observer primarily attacks people who have committed sins, so someone as evil as Hiyama would be a damn good target. While the Observer's distracted, Amano will attack him from behind and sedate him. And I can't stress this enough, the weapons are a last resort and are only to be used in a non-lethal way. If Hiyama doesn't work, we're using Uryu."

"And what's stopping me from escaping?"

"The fact that I'll be watching you at all times and if you try to escape I'll put a bullet through your fucking skull. Anyway, we should probably have a backup in case Uryu doesn't work. You two have any sins I should know about?"

"...I do," said Marco.

"Go on, Marky-Mark," said Minene, "Don't keep us in suspense."

"Well, back in high school, Ai was being picked on by this group of popular bitches. I tried to protect her from them, but...but one day, I couldn't. They got their boyfriends to rape her."

"Jesus...fuckin' teenagers. Bunch of psycho cunts," said Minene.

"Yeah, it was fuckin' brutal. I walked in on the bastards after they were done, and...I just snapped. I killed them. Every last one of them. I made them cry. I made them beg. I made them pray for mercy. Those fuckers suffered. After that, I hunted down those fucking cunts that were responsible for all of it and I killed them too. In total, I killed 10 people."

"Damn," said Keigo, "That's awful. I'm sorry you had to go through that, Ai."

"It's alright. It happened a long time ago. Marco's really helped me get over the trauma."

"Honestly, Marco, I would've done the same thing. You were right to kill those fuckers."

"Thanks, Keigo. So, are we there yet?"

"Yeah, we're here. Wait a minute..." Keigo looked in the rear-view mirror. "Is that a school bus? Oh God, TELL ME they didn't do what I think they did."

Note: Short, but sweet!~ The next chapter will focus partly on the others in the school bus, and partly on Kamado, Karyuudo, and John back at the house!~"


	12. The Superior Foes Of The Observer

Back at the house, John, Kamado, and Karyuudo were in the basement, looking at something covered by a sheet. And before you ask, yes, Yuki was the one person in the house who didn't know there was a basement.

"Miss Ueshita, Karyuudo, I present to you the device that will allow us to communicate with the idiots that hold the fate of my city in their hands: the HOLON IV!"

He removed the sheet, revealing a large supercomputer and three chairs.

"Our little demonic friend built it for us. It's truly amazing what that creature can do. You know, Adolf Hitler had an interest in the occult. If I had won the Survival Game, perhaps I would've found a way to bind Murmur to my will."

"Bacchus, if you're done having an orgasm over the thought of Hitler and demons, would you mind explaining to us what this thing does?"

"Of course, Karyuudo. The HOLON IV, with the help of the Watcher, taps into the technological Diaries - in other words, all of them except for the child's and the drug addict's - and allows us to pinpoint their location. It also connects to the earpieces we gave them, allowing us to talk to them. I've already been speaking to Keigo. We've already come up with an attack plan, a backup plan, and a backup backup plan. I'm thinking of creating a backup backup backup plan involving using Karyuudo's dogs as a distraction."

"Only as an absolute last resort."

"Anyway, because I've connected it to the Watcher, we can also spy on every Diary's contents, including the ones that aren't technological. Now, let's take our seats and begin."

The three of them sat down and turned on their earpieces.

"Miss Ueshita, you've been rather quiet."

"I don't really have much to talk about with a Nazi and an arms dealer."

"...Well, alright then."

The three of them managed to connect to Yuki's earpiece.

"What's up, faggots? Guess who has two thumbs and just hijacked a bus from his own school?"

"A negro?"

"...No, John. I did."

"Why?"

"Yomotsu's gay car ran out of gas. Thank fuck we were on the bus route. Anyway, I walked in front of the bus to get it to stop and when the driver opened the door, I told him I'd shoot him if he didn't drive us towards the shitty part of town."

"It's a city."

"I don't care. Oh, and this is fuckin' hilarious, when we got on the bus, ALL the guys knew who Tsubaki was. She goes to where they all hang out and ends up taking some lucky guy home every night."

On the bus, Yuno and Rei were talking to Hinata and Mao.

"He's so cute!" said Mao.

"Thanks, Miss Nonosaka," said Rei.

"So how long have you two been dating?" asked Yuno.

"About a year," said Hinata.

"Me and Yuki have been going out for a few weeks~ Oh, I met your father, Hinata."

"Yeah, I heard you guys were chosen to be gods or something, and that's why you and Yuki dropped out.."

"We were."

"Cool. Don't know why my dad got chosen, though."

"He's kind of a dick."

"Kinda. Like, he's not an outright asshole, it's more that he's just indifferent, y'know? I told him I wanted breast implants, he didn't care. I told him I GOT breast implants, he didn't care. I came out of the closet, he didn't care. No response at all. I have no fuckin' idea how my mom puts up with him when he visits. I heard about what happened to your parents, by the way. I'm sorry for your loss."

"It's fine. They were pretty fuckin' awful. Worse than your dad. Anyway, how did you guys meet Yuki?"

"Mao introduced me to him. He saved her from getting beat up."

"Really?"

"Yeah," said Mao, "It was about a year ago. I had just started dating Hinata and...well, some rich guys I went to school with didn't like that she was off the market, I guess. Not that she would've fucked 'em anyway. There were about 5 of them and they cornered me behind the school. They were gonna beat the shit outta me. But just as one of 'em was about to punch me, I hear Yuki shoutin' at 'em. He was looking for someone to buy weed from and he found me instead. So Yuki says, 'Hey, assholes! The fuck are you doin'?' and the guys tell him to fuck off. And he fucks off. But just when they're about to kick my ass, Yuki comes back with a board he found in a construction site. And he says, 'Listen up, dickheads! If you don't get the fuck outta here right now, I'm gonna beat your shit with this board right here!'. One of the guys says that if Yuki tries anything, he'll sue his family. Yuki laughs in his face and says, 'Sue us for what? My fucktard dad lost all of our money! All we got is a house that's barely worth anything! You fuckers gotta learn something: I'm an Amano, and the Amanos ain't worth JACK SHIT!' and then he knocks the fucker out with the board. This causes the other guys to run away like the bitches they are, and that's how me and Yuki became friends. Then I introduced him to Hinata, and he bought weed and a gun, and he eventually gave that gun to you."

"Damn."

"Yeah, it was pretty cool. The thing about Yuki is that 90% of the time he acts like the biggest asshole on the planet, but he's really a great guy once you get to know him."

"He's the only guy I've ever loved. And speaking of gayness and stuff, I've recently been thinking about my own sexuality. And after some thinking, I...guess I'd say I'm bisexual. Like, I find both guys and girls physically attractive, but Yuki's the only person I can really care about. If Yuki was a girl, I'd still fuck him. And he already has a nice ass like a girl."

The three girls talked for the rest of the bus ride. Tsubaki was in the seat ahead of them, stoned out of her mind, Takeo and Yuki were at the front of the bus scaring the shit out of the bus driver, Rei was sleeping in Yuno's lap, and Yomotsu was sitting next to Ouja.

"So, dude, are you like a superhero or something?" asked Ouja.

"I don't even know anymore."


	13. The Gang Saves The World

"Personally," said Yuno, "I'm a huge fan of the romance part of me and Yuki's relationship. I love romantic stuff~"

"Like what?" asked Hinata.

"Y'know, like him putting rose petals on our bed, watching a movie together and falling asleep in each others arms, me fucking him with a double-ended horse vibrator, him cooking for me when I'm sick, stuff like that."

"That's so cute!~" said Mao. "Also, I just noticed that we're towing a car."

"Yeah, that's the Twelfthmobile."

"Where'd you get the rope?"

"I keep it around in case I ever find a good place to hang myself," said Tsubaki.

Everyone, including Tsubaki, laughed.

"No, but seriously, I've been severely depressed ever since I lost my religion and I've been using drugs, alcohol, and meaningless sex to fill the void. They do nothing and now I'm addicted to heroin, among other things. I can't remember what happiness feels like anymore."

"Let's sing a driving song," said Yuno. "Since you didn't get to finish last time, you can sing something, Tsubaki."

"Um, okay:

It's the Nutshack-"

"No."

"I have a good song," said Takeo from the front of the bus, while holding his machete against the driver's neck.

"Hi, Mr. Hiyama."

"Hello, Hino."

"How've you been?"

"I've been better. Alright, let's start!:

Cruising on down Main Street, you're relaxed and feeling good-"

"Yo, there's the others!" said Yuki. "Let's bounce."

"I hate you so much, Yukiteru."

"You sound like my dad. Anyway, see you later, Hino, Mao, and Oujerkoff."

The gang got out of the bus and joined with Keigo's group.

"...Amano?"

"Yeah, Keigo?"

"Did you **HIJACK A FUCKING SCHOOL BUS?!** "

"Man, don't go blamin' me for this shit, anorexic Power Ranger over there's the one with the shitty car!"

"Do you gotta be put on a watch list or somethin' now?" asked Minene.

"Shut the fuck up."

"So anyway, the Observer's just up ahead?" asked Yuno.

"Judging from the burning hellhole that used to be an unburning hellhole, I'd say he is," said Marco.

"Let's knock this bastard out and go find Nishijima!" said Keigo.

"If he's still alive, that is," said Takeo. "Although frankly, I don't really care if he is or not."

"You know as well as I do that Nishijima's a tough bastard," said Minene. "He's fine."

"You three have met before?" asked Keigo.

"Unfortunately."

"Yeah, it's a wild fuckin' story. Hiyama was tryin' to kill me, Nishijima was tryin' to arrest and/or fuck me, and I ended up getting a nice dress."

"Alright, everyone!" said John. "Let's go knock out a faggot!"

The gang walked towards the carnage. There were dead criminals everywhere. The area smelled like burning flesh. Several buildings had been destroyed. Standing in the middle of it all was the Observer. The gang hid behind what used to be a bank.

"Alright, Takeo," said Keigo, "you go out there while Yuki sneaks up on him from behind."

Takeo walked towards the Observer. Yuki ran around some buildings until he was behind the Observer.

"Your **sinfulness** , it **is**...overwhelming."

"Thank you."

Yuki ran up to the Observer and stabbed him in the neck with the syringe. It was enveloped by a glowing light and melted.

"...Shit."

" **A** shame **that** someone **as** beautiful **as** you **must** die, **First**."

Yuno shot at the Observer, attempting to direct his attention towards her. He laughed.

"Look **at** me, **I'm** Yuno **G**.

I'm **without** virginity

 **I'll** go **to** bed **while** my **parents** are **dead**

I **will** , I'm **Yuno** G."

"Somebody's seen Grease."

" **Yes** , I **did** watch **a** few **movies** before **my** crusade **began**."

"Look, dude," said Yuki, "you gotta stop this. You'll end up killing everyone in the country!"

"A **necessary** sacrifice **for** my **new** Eden. **Now**..."

The Observer let out a beam of light from his right hand, aiming it at Yuno.

"Time **to** rid **this** world **of** false **gods**."

"KID, LOOK OUT!"

Minene jumped down and pushed her out of the way. The light hit her left eye.

"FUCK!"

"And **the** heretic **makes** her **appearance**."

Minene punched him in the face.

"Shut the fuck up!"

Behind the bank, the others were discussing what to do.

"Should I try to help her?" asked Marco.

"The plans relied on the sedative working! We're all fucked now!" said John.

"Hey, where's Tsubaki?" asked Ai.

As the Observer's hand started glowing, Tsubaki tackled him from behind.

"LEAVE OUR BITCH ALONE!"

"...You couldn't have worded that differently?"

"There **is** something... **different** about **thee**. Perhaps **thou** art **righteous**. I **could** make **you** my **Eve**."

"Fuck no."

"Very **well**."

The Observer threw her off him and turned towards Takeo.

"I **shall** start **by** killing **the** worst **sinner** among **you**."

"Try me, asshole."

Knowing that his machete would only break the Observer's skin, resulting in more energy leaking and putting them in even more danger, Takeo tried to punch him. The Observer caught it.

"You **know** , murderer, **there** is **something** I **have** noticed **about** thee."

"What is it?"

" **You're** a **big** guy."

Takeo smiled behind his mask.

"For _you_."

A dark energy emerged from Takeo's fist, enveloping the Observer and knocking him unconscious.

"Holy shit," said Kamado.

"Hard to believe the serial killer saved us all," said Keigo.

" _That's because he didn't._ "

Murmur, in a translucent ghost-like form, emerged from Takeo's body before solidifying.

"I feel violated."

" _Shut the fuck up._ "

"Wait, what?" asked Yuki.

" _You see, I knew the sedative would fail. So, I possessed Takeo in order to defeat the Observer._ "

"...You KNEW THE FUCKING SEDATIVE WOULD FAIL?! WE ALMOST DIED!"

"I LOST AN EYE, YOU FUCKING COCKSUCKER!"

"If you knew it would fail, then why this?! Why any of this?!" asked Ai.

" _So Deus would be impressed with my work and let me go back to Hell. Later, dickheads._ "

Murmur and the Observer disappeared in a cloud of smoke. Nishijima poked his head out of a dumpster.

"Is it over? I think I pissed myself."

In Deus' realm, Murmur had just finished correcting the flaw - a small, blue fiber.

" _Probably nothing important._ "

He walked towards a door and opened it, only to see an entity that resembled a winged minotaur wrestling an entity that resembled a humanoid shadow with a frog's head on the masculine right side of its body and a snake's head on the feminine left side of its body.

" _Oh, uh, hey, Moloch. Hey, Kek. Wrong door...uh, what exactly are you two...?_ "

" _Nothing._ "

" **This doesn't concern you.** "

Murmur left and walked towards the correct door. He opened it and stepped inside to see Deus.

" _Hey, asshole._ "

" **I remember when you once called me 'Father', like the rest of my angels, Matthias.** "

" _Fuck you. I brought the Observer here, so let me go back to Hell._ "

" **First of all, I know you sabotaged the Diary Holders. I am not omniscient, but I am also not an idiot. Secondly, do you know why I brought you here, Matthias?** "

" _I...I have absolutely no idea,_ " said Murmur, who was lying through his teeth. He knew exactly what he had done to deserve an eternity as Deus' servant.

" **The First World, Matthias. Earth-1A. You traveled to the dead 1A universe from our universe and you turned it into an abomination. You wished to test the extent of your powers and you did the impossible. You did the unspeakable. You did something that you can only make up for by serving me.** "

Deus looked down on Murmur, who realized just how small and weak he was compared to Him.

" **You raised the dead, Matthias.** "


	14. John Makes Yuki Cry

"Alright, everyone!" said Yuki, "I'd say we did a good job here, let's all get on the bus and-"

The bus and the Twelfthmobile were gone. Keigo and Nishijima's police cars had no tires on them.

"...Well, fuck. I guess we're walking. Anyway, how is everyone?"

"I'm fine, thanks to Minene," said Yuno.

"If my own life weren't at risk, I would have let the Observer kill all of you," said Takeo.

"Those little bastards," said Keigo. "Those little fucking bastards."

"I'm fine, Big Brother!~" said Rei.

"I lost a fucking contact, nobody move," said Tsubaki.

"I'm fine, dude," said Marco.

"I'm good too," said Ai. "I'll you find your contact, Tsubaki."

"I LOST A FUCKING EYE FOR YOU FAGGOTS," said Minene.

"Somebody stole my car, didn't they?" asked Yomotsu.

"I'm fine," said Nishijima. "Minene, you look as just as beautiful with one eye as you did with two."

"Go fuck yourself with a cactus."

"Oh fuck, there goes my other contact! I can't see shit!"

"Welcome to my world, Tsubaki. My dark, carless world. Rest in peace, Twelfthmobile."

"We'll get your car back, Yomotsu," said Kamado.

"I hope so, my pear-shaped friend. I hope so."

"So, John, you still got the dumbass Jew hat?" asked Yuki.

"AT LEAST I DON'T HAVE A FUCKING ERIC CARTMAN HAT, YOU LITTLE KIKE! FUCK YOU, YOU FAGGOT! YOU FUCKING ASH KETCHUM HAIR-HEADED CUMDUMPSTER LIMP-DICKED CUNT! NO WONDER YOUR DAD LEFT YOU, YOU LITTLE COCKSUCKER!"

"...Holy shit, dude," said Minene. "Okay, so everyone's fine-"

"I STEPPED ON MY CONTACTS, GODDAMMIT!"

"Okay, most of us are fine. Anyway...Yuki? Dude, are you crying?"

"N-no..."

"Just wear your glasses, Tsubaki," said Ai.

"I'm not wearing my glasses, they look stupid."

"They look fine."

Tsubaki sighed. "Fine, I'll wear the fucking glasses." She took a pair of glasses out of her robe and put them on.

"How much shit do you got in there?" asked Marco.

"A lot. Girl clothes with pockets, the way of the future. Am I right, Yuno? Yuno? You, uh, you alright there?"

"Oh, by the way, John," said Minene, "Yuno just got really quiet, and she's looking at the ground, and not really moving or making any kind of facial expression. I think it's 'cause you made Yuki cry."

"I'M NOT CRYING!"

"You're crying. Anyway, John, my point is that you should probably find a gun or something. Y'know, just in case...and she is really gripping that ax hard. Seriously, find a gun or something, she's gonna fucking kill you."

"I'm not afraid of a 14 year old girl, Uryu."

"You know she killed her parents, right? Keigo told me about it."

"...Alright, I'll find a gun."

"Alright, I'm cool," said Yuki. "Everyone just chill out. Babe, just relax."

"...Fine. I won't kill John."

"There we go. So, let's start walkin'. If we see a car, we can hitchhike."

"Yukiteru, eleven people aren't going to fit in one car," said Takeo, "And that's not even counting what other people might be in it."

"Then we'll hitchhike on a van or something."

"How are we going to attract a van?" asked Keigo "I don't think anyone's gonna stop for two armed teenagers, a known serial killer, a middle-aged man with a gun, a kid in a gas mask, a bathrobe-wearing junkie, a knife-wielding young couple, a known terrorist, a guy with a fucking bag over his head, and a guy who smells like piss. Just saying."

"...It's not a bathrobe," said Tsubaki.

"You make a good point, Keigo," said Yuki. "Wait, I got an idea. Minene, you got the biggest tits here, take your top off. Someone's definitely gonna stop for that."

"I like this idea," said Nishijima. "I like it a lot."

"Fuck both of you," said Minene. "And I don't think women with charred holes where their eye used to be are a very common fetish."

Yuki got a call on his phone.

"Yo, what's up?"

"Hey, dude, it's Hinata. I called to let you know the bus driver stole your friend's car."

"Yeah, we noticed."

"So, what've you been doing for the past hour? Just...horsing around?"

"The fuck are you...oh my fucking God, Yuno, you didn't."

"Sorry, Yuki," said Yuno, blushing bright red.

"Wait, what'd you do?" asked Minene. Yuno whispered in her ear. Minene paused for a bit and then started laughing uncontrollably.

"HOLY FUCKING SHIT! I can't fuckin' breathe! This is the best fuckin' day of my life! EVERYONE, LISTEN UP!"

"Are you proud of yourself, Hino?"

"YOU'RE NOT GONNA FUCKIN' BELIEVE THIS!"

"Are you proud of what you've started?"

"Tell her I said hello."

"Shut the fuck up, Karyuudo."


	15. Coming Home

The gang had finally gotten home through a series of elaborate carjackings. It was nightfall by the time they reached the house.

"Are you still mad at me, Yuki?"

"I can't stay mad at you, babe. Just don't tell my dumbass friends about our sex life, okay?"

"Okay~"

"Like, I don't mind if they talk shit about me, 'cause I don't give a fuck, I just don't want them talkin' shit about you. And if they do talk shit about you, I'll knock their fucking teeth out."

Karyuudo's absurd amount of dogs started barking at them from the backyard.

"I swear to God, I'm going to kill all of those dogs one of these days," said Takeo.

"You can try, but Karyuudo would definitely kill you," said Keigo.

The gang went into the house. As Minene was about to step inside, Nishijima stopped her.

"Minene, wait. I need to talk to you about something."

"What is it?"

He pulled out Minene's ankle bracelet out of his coat pocket.

"Keigo gave it to me."

Minene sighed. "Fine, just-"

Nishijima threw it on the ground and broke it.

"Keigo and I had a discussion a while back. After you saved me from Hiyama the day we met, I knew there was a good person somewhere in you. I brought up to Keigo the possibility that you could be rehabilitated. He said that if you ever proved you weren't a complete psychopath, he'd let me try to reform you. You risked your life to save Yuno. I think that proves me right."

"What are you saying?"

"I'm saying from this forward, you're no longer under house arrest. You're a free woman."

"I-I don't know what to say..."

"Say you'll go on a date with me."

"No."

Back in the house, Kamado, John, and Karyuudo were sitting on the couch watching TV. John had stolen some of Yuki's weed and was dressed in red, white, and blue. He had an upside-down cross drawn on his forehead.

"Hello, everyone," said Kamado.

"Hi, Miss Ueshita!" said Rei.

"Good evening, children," said John.

"Um...hey, there, John," said Tsubaki.

"What is good, my niggers?"

"So, uh, I'm gonna assume you're celebrating the election?" asked Ai.

"There was an election?" asked Tsubaki.

"Yeah, it was like all over the news," said Marco. "How could you not know?"

"Dude, I don't even know what reality I'm in half the time. So what happened?"

"The guy from The Apprentice, with the help of a pedophile named Weiner, the magic of dank memes, and an Internet pseudo-cult of racist conspiracy theorists- who, it turns out, might have been right about everything- who invoked the power of an ancient Egyptian chaos god, became the president of the United States."

"Oh."

"The Trump train can't be stopped!" John cheerfully declared.

"Dude, you're an Italian living in Japan celebrating an election on the other side of the world," said Yuki. "Just let that shit sink in for a second. And I swear to fucking dick, if you touched my weed, I'm gonna kick your ass."

"'Swear to fucking dick'?" asked Keigo.

"Look, it's hard comin' up with new combinations of swear words."

"I'm just saying, it sounds kinda gay."

"Speaking of gay, my daughter called me-"

"NOT A FUCKING WORD, KARYUUDO," said Yuki.

"Really, a horse-"

"Seriously, if you keep talking about this, I'm going to fist two of your dogs to death and use their corpses as boxing gloves to beat the shit out of you."

Minene walked into the house. As soon as she came in, Aru appeared in a cloud of smoke.

"What's up, queers?"

"What the fuck are you doing here?!" asked Yuno.

"YOU EYE-BURNING PRICK!"

"Look, I know we got off on the wrong foot. I wasn't in my right mind. I'm sorry about the eye, Ninth. Anyway, Deus wants me to live here to keep an eye- I mean, to watch you guys."

"Well," said Yuki, "Yuno's been sleeping with me ever since we moved in. You can stay in her room if you want."

"Thank you, First."

"Please, all my friends call me Y2K."

"Nobody calls you that, Big Brother."

"Shut the fuck up, Carrot Top."

"Oh, I've just realized we haven't been properly introduced. I'm Aru Akise."

"Nice to meet you, Aru," said Kamado.

"It's a pleasure to meet you too, Eighth. By the way, Twelfth, I recovered your car for you. And I put gasoline in it."

"You are my new favorite person in the world."

"Yeah," said Yuki, "anyway, so me and Yuno are gonna go to bed now. Night, fags."

"Goodnight, First."

"Are you and Big Sister going to play with the horse toy?"

"I hate you so much, you Ron Weasley-looking cunt."

"Baby, be nice~"

"What's this about a horse toy?" asked Aru.

"Nothing," said Yuki.

"I'm just asking-"

"IT'S NOTHING."

Author's Note: A new chapter because I love you guys!~3 Also, I'm hosting an AMA right now!~ All questions will be answered in the next chapter!~ Also, I've figured out theme songs for everyone!:~

Yuki: Black Eyed Peas - I'mma Be~

Yuno: Britney Spears - Toxic~

Takeo: Morrissey - Jack The Ripper~

Keigo: Toby Keith - Beer For My Horses~

Rei: Harry Chapin - Cat's In The Cradle~

Tsubaki: Eminem - Drug Ballad~

Marco: YG - I Just Wanna Party~

Ai: Halestorm - Freak Like Me~

Kamado: Julie Andrews - A Spoonful Of Sugar~

Minene: Dope DOD - Master Xploder~

Karyuudo: DMX - Party Up~

John: The Who - Behind Blue Eyes~

Yomotsu: Five For Fighting - Superman~

Murmur: Ozzy Osbourne - Mr. Crowley~

Aru: Disturbed - The Vengeful One~

Hinata: 50 Cent - Straight To The Bank~

Mao: Simon Curtis - Super Psycho Love~

Ouja: Spose- I'm Awesome~

Deus: Powerwolf - In The Name Of God~


	16. Yuno And Tsubaki's Excellent Adventure

Yuno was watching TV with Yuki.

"HOLY SHIT, HE'S DOCTOR ALCHEMY!"

"I'm not sure, Yuki."

"Think about it. Julian wants to be a metahuman. Alchemy uses the Philosopher's Stone to get superpowers. And he just so happened to be off the job when the cops raided Alchemy's base. Also, Julian ALbert. Doctor ALchemy. The evidence is there, Yuno."

"Guess we'll see in a few weeks."

Yuno's phone rang.

"Hello?~"

"Hey, it's Hinata."

"Oh, hey, what's up?"

"Me and Mao are going for a drive, maybe see a movie, you wanna come?"

"Yeah, I'd love that! Oh, should I bring Tsubaki?"

"Sure, she seems cool. Pick you up in an hour?"

"Sounds great!"

Yuno hung up her phone.

"Who was it?"

"It was Hinata! She wants me and Tsubaki to hang out with her and Mao! I'm so excited!"

"Why? It's just Hino."

"Yuki, you don't get it! For the first time in my life, I actually HAVE FRIENDS!"

"Okay, well, calm the fuck down before you get a heart attack."

She went to Tsubaki's room and knocked on the door.

"Come in."

She opened the door. Tsubaki was in her bed, hiding something under the blankets and listening to Coma White by Marilyn Manson.

"Oh, hey, Yuno."

"Hinata wants you and me to hang out with her and Mao. Wanna come?"

"I...wait, really? They want me to come?"

"Yeah, Hinata thinks you're cool."

Tsubaki smiled. "When are we going?"

"In an hour. See you then~"

Yuno closed the door. Tsubaki took out a bottle of pills from under the blankets.

"Not today. Maybe some other time, but I'm not gonna do it today. I don't wanna disappoint my new friends."

She put the pills under her bed.

An hour later, Hinata pulled up to the driveway in a massive pickup truck. She was accompanied by Mao and a brown-haired girl. Yuno and Tsubaki got in the back seat next to the girl.

"This is Moe, she wanted to come," said Hinata.

"Nice to meet you two."

"Hi, Moe. I'm Yuno and this is Tsubaki."

"I like your glasses, Tsubaki."

"Thanks. So, what're we doin' today?"

"Well, Tsubaki," said Mao, "first, we're gonna get something to eat, and then we're gonna see a movie."

"Nice. Oh, I got an idea. I know this girl, Orin - Ai introduced me to her back in my cult days - who lives in Kamado's orphanage just about a half hour from here. We should bring her with us."

"Alright, sounds good," said Hinata.

As they were driving to the orphanage, the girls started to chat.

"So, how did you guys meet?" Yuno asked Moe.

"Well, we're all in the same class together. I think you were in that class, too?"

"Yeah, I dropped out."

"Oh, right, the god thing. Didn't Mr. Hiyama leave because of that?"

"Yeah. I mean, he also killed five women, but the god thing was also a factor."

"Holy shit."

"Yeah, he lives with us now. We don't really take him seriously. Probably should. Anyway, continue."

"Oh, well, that's pretty much it. Hinata called me earlier and asked if I wanted to come with you guys."

"Yeah, me and Mao figured that since we're havin' a girl's night, we should invite the only girl we know. Well, kinda know."

"Makes sense. So, Moe, anyone special in your life?~"

"Well, I did have a crush on this one guy."

"Oh?~ What was his name?"

"Uh, Yuno-" Mao started to say, but Hinata stopped her. She wanted to see how this played out.

"His name was Yukiteru Amano."

"...What."

"Yeah, he was a pretty cool guy. Really cute, too. I wanted to ask him out, but he dropped out. I think it was around the same time that...you...did...and you know him don't you?"

"What gave it away?"

"The cold, unflinching glare you're giving me."

"Yuki's my boyfriend."

"Oh."

"Yeah. We lost our virginities to each other."

"I, uh-"

"And we have tattoos of each other's names."

"Okay, um-"

"We make love every night. We keep everyone else in the house awake for hours, that's how passionate it is."

"Alright."

"Fucked him with a horse vibrator a few nights ago. Moaned like a motherfuckin' pornstar."

"Well, o-okay, then."

"...ANYWAY," said Mao, "what do you do for fun, Moe?"

"I read. Stephen King, HP Lovecraft, Thomas Ligotti, stuff like that."

"I listen to music," said Tsubaki, "A bit of Eminem, $uicideboy$, Marilyn Manson, Fall Out Boy, Nirvana, Green Day, y'know, that kind of music."

"Shady's some good shit," said Hinata. "Dre's pretty cool, too. DMX and 50 Cent are probably some of my favorites."

"I like Simon Curtis," said Mao. "And Maroon 5's nice."

"I don't really listen to music," said Moe. "Except maybe a bit of Beethoven. It's relaxing. What do you listen to, Yuno?"

"Oh, I, uh...I listen to Ke$ha. And Black Eyed Peas, Britney Spears...y'know, the shit that comes on the radio sometimes."

"You mean shit that hasn't been relevant for years?" asked Tsubaki.

"Haha, fuck you, too. Oh, speaking of relaxing, Moe, do you, uh...y'know...smoke? Uh, not like cigarettes, I mean-"

"She means the dank-ass kush," said Tsubaki.

"No, I don't smoke. At most, I have a bit of wine sometimes."

"I like weed," said Hinata. "Liked it so much I started sellin' it. And if you ever hear anything about my weed bein' laced, it's bullshit."

"Okay."

"Complete bullshit. Beer's cool, too, I guess."

"Ecstasy's my shit," said Mao. "And a bit of weed from time to time."

"Let's see," said Tsubaki, "Weed, coke, smack, X, angel dust...really, you think of any kind of drug, there's a 90% chance I've done or will do it. And vodka. Lots of vodka."

"Damn," said Hinata.

"Yeah. No idea how I'm still alive. Fuck, I'm high right now. Oh, and I play video games sometimes."

"Like what?" asked Mao.

"Minecraft. It's really fucking fun to play when you're high. Really chill game."

"Isn't that one of those games for autistic 12 year olds?" asked Moe.

"Oh, I didn't know you played it-"

"WHAT YUNO MEANS TO SAY," said Tsubaki, covering Yuno's mouth, "is, uh-"

"Yo, I think we're here," said Hinata.

"Nice. Anyway, I'll- Yuno, don't...don't lick my hand. Don't."

"You put your hand in front of my mouth, what did you expect me to do?"

"Yeah, so me and Yuno are gonna go get Orin, be right back."

The two of them got out of the car and went towards the orphanage's front door.

"YUNO, WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT?!"

"I'm sorry! I don't know what came over me! When Moe said she liked Yuki, I just got really jealous, I couldn't think of anything else!"

"Look. These are the first new friends I've had since I was in a cult, and your first friends ever. DON'T FUCK THIS UP FOR US."

Tsubaki knocked on the door. A small, brown-haired girl answered it.

"Oh, Lady Tsubaki! I didn't expect to see you here!"

"Orin, you don't gotta be so formal anymore. Just call me Tsubaki. Listen, me and my friends are goin' out to get something to eat and see a movie, you wanna come with?"

"Sure. I'll go tell Taro where I'm going, and I'll join you shortly."

She retreated back into the house.

"Who's Taro?"

"Her boyfriend. Must be nice."

"What must be nice?"

"You know, havin' a boyfriend. Having someone that actually loves you. Don't get me wrong, my hedonistic lifestyle is amazing, but there's just something...missing."

"I'm sure you'll find someone."

"You think so?"

"I do."

"Thanks, Yuno."

Orin came back out of the orphanage.

"Okay, let's go!"

The three of them go into the truck.

"Guys, this is Orin. Orin, this is Yuno, Hinata, Mao, and Moe."

"Hi."

"Orin, you're pretty small, so you can probably fit between the front seats and the back seat."

The six of them drove to a fast food restaurant.

"Yeah, I'll have a number five," said Hinata into the drive-thru speaker. "What do you guys want?"

"I'll have a number eight," said Mao.

"A number eleven for me," said Moe.

"I'll get a number one and a large soda," said Yuno.

"I'll have two number nines, a number nine large, a number six with extra dip, a number seven, two number forty-five's, one with cheese, and a large soda," said Tsubaki.

"...Goddamn, Tsubaki," said Hinata.

"Where the fuck do you keep all the food you eat?" asked Yuno. "You weigh, like, eighty pounds!"

"I have an eating disorder."

"...Oh."

"Please don't vomit in my badass truck," said Hinata.

After they ate, they went to go see a movie. Hinata and Mao dropped off Moe at her house and Orin at the orphanage. They then drove Yuno and Tsubaki home.

"Thanks for the night out, guys. Me and Tsubaki really appreciate it." Yuno went into the house.

"So, Tsubaki..."

"What is it, Mao?"

"You have bad eyesight, right?"

"No, of course not. If I did, I'd be wearing a pair of stupid glasses, wouldn't I? Oh. Wait. I am, and I do. Why do you ask?"

"It's just that...since your eyesight sucks, do you have really good hearing?"

"I know exactly where you're goin' with this. Yes, I do. While most of the house hears Yuki and Yuno fucking like rabbits, I hear even more. I hear begging, moaning, dirty talk, spanking, you name it. God only knows what Yomotsu hears."

"Alright, cool. Do you mind...?"

"Horse vibrator's gettin' stale, ain't it?"

"Kinda."

"Well, maybe I've heard that sometimes Yuno likes to make Yuki beg to kiss her feet. You didn't hear it from me, though."

"Got it. Thanks."

"No problem."

Tsubaki went into the house. She walked into her room and closed the door. She lied down on her bed and sighed.

"I'm still not happy."

She looked over to the ball in her closet.

"I just don't get it. I had a great day, made some friends, watched some weird-ass wizard superhero movie, by all logic, I should be happy. But...I'm not."

She looked up at the ceiling.

"Maybe there's just something wrong with me."

She sat up.

"Mom, dad...I know this is probably stupid. But I know that Hell exists, 'cause Takeo was there, and I know God exists, even if he's a prick, and I know demons exist...so, maybe Heaven exists?"

She reached under her bed.

"If you can hear me...what's dying like?"

She took the bottle out from under her bed.

"Is it blissful?"

She opened the bottle.

"Is it like a dream?"

She cried as she emptied the bottle of pills into her hand.

"I want to dream."

Author's note!:~ So we end this chapter on a sad note~:( Anyway, here's the AMA questions!:~

"What is your height and shoe size?"

About 5'9 and about 12.

"How did you get interested in Mirai Nikki and who is your favorite character?"

I saw some pictures and clips of it, and eventually my curiosity led me to watch it. Yuno's my favorite.

"Who do you think is the hottest girl in Mirai Nikki?"

That's a hard one (hehehe). Probably Minene.

"What inspired you to write this story?"

Well, I was watching It's Always Sunny In Philadelphia, and Mac reminded me of Aru. It kinda escalated from there. Tsubaki's based on Charlie btw. Yuki is based on Dennis.

"Hmm, since John was celebrating the election, I was wondering if it's related to the story."

Not the election itself. But there is a political story arc coming up! Let's just say there are some people who aren't happy with Bael as the mayor.

"Also, will Aru go crazy again?"

Since the thing that was causing his insanity (which readers of my Kill La Kill fic will recognize as a Death Fiber) was removed from his brain, not anytime in the near future. But that's not to say parts of the Observer personality won't resurface eventually.

"If you could rewrite Mirai Nikki, what changes would you make?"

You're reading those changes!

"What other animes have you watched and/or written on?"

I'm writing a Kill La Kill fic. I've watched Kill La Kill (obviously), Mirai Nikki (obviously), Yuru Yuri, Digimon, a bit of Haganai, and an episode of Fate/Stay Kaleid. I'm thinking of one day writing a Yuru Yuri AU fic, a Digimon fic, and a Monster Musume fic.

"What animes are your favorite to write on?"

This and Kill La Kill, because they're my only two fics so far.

Thanks to Cuteweeb for the questions!~

Also, I'll be adding a character bio to each chapter from now on!:~

Name: Yukiteru Amano/Y2K/The First

Age: 14

Species: Human

Race: Japanese

Sexuality: Hetero

Alignment: Chaotic Neutral

Born at 11:59 PM, December 31st, 2002 (that's where the nickname comes from), Yuki is kind of a dick. His asshole personality - which is very similar to his father, who, ironically, Yuki hates - covers up an insecure, genuinely decent (more or less) person. The two people Yuki loves the most are his mother and Yuno. While he may be a prick to his friends, he will always help them when they need it. Hinata can be considered the closest thing he has to a best friend, with Mao coming in as a close second. He has a weird friend/enemy relationship with Ouja; he likes him because he reminds him of himself, but he hates him because he reminds him of himself. Yuki doesn't care that Takeo tried to kill him; their relationship can best be described as "Yuki likes fucking with him for fun". He likes Keigo, and wishes his father was more like him. While still doesn't completely like Rei, he's starting to warm up to him. He considers Tsubaki to be (more or less) a friend. He occasionally wonders if Marco and Ai's relationship is what his and Yuno's will look like in the future. If he ever insults Kamado, it's about her appearance, because he believes she's one of the nicest people he's ever met and can't think of anything bad about her personality to insult her about. He initially liked fucking with Minene for fun (like he did Takeo), but he didn't expect Minene to retaliate; after she saved Yuno's life, Yuki considers her a friend. He despises Karyuudo for his failed relationship with Hinata, because it reminds him of his relationship with his father. He considers John to be more or less an annoyance at worst. He considers Yomotsu a friend. He thinks Nishijima is cool because of his blatant flirting with Minene, without any shame whatsoever.


	17. The Gang Is Nice For Once

Tsubaki was lying in a bed on the third story of a hospital. A winged man in a suit of armor stood beside her. His hand started to glow. As he was about to touch her face, he was interrupted by something hitting the hospital window. He saw that it was a vulture that crashed against the window and died. It fell to the ground and was replaced by another crashing vulture. And another. And another. And another. A cloud of vultures was surrounding the hospital.

" _Michael,_ " said Murmur, who had appeared behind him, " _what are you doing here?_ "

" **Matthias. I should have known it was you. You certainly like to make an entrance.** "

" _Only if I want to get the attention of a self-righteous archangel. And by the way, it's Murmur. Now answer my question._ "

" **I came to bring this girl's soul to Purgatory, where she will repent for her sins and eventually earn her way into Heaven.** "

" _That's not happening. The Sixth will live, whether she likes it or not._ "

" **According to who?** "

" _Deus._ "

" **...Alright. If it is what the Lord wishes, so be it. Goodbye, traitor.** "

" _Later, asshole._ "

They both vanished in clouds of smoke. Hours later, Tsubaki awoke to see Aru sitting in a chair and watching her.

"Hey."

"It's good to see you're okay. The doctors said it was a miracle you survived."

"I'm not okay. I'm still alive. So...you're the only one who came?"

"Yeah."

Tsubaki laughed bitterly. "Of course they didn't come. Why would they?" She paused. "Why did you come?"

"I was worried about you."

"...You were?"

"I was. And I'm still worried about you. I know we've only known each other for a little while, but you're still my friend, Tsubaki."

"Thanks, Aru. I really appreciate that."

"The Twelfthmobile's in the parking lot. I'll drive you home."

They drove to the house and opened the door. Tsubaki noticed that the lights were off.

"Why is it so dark in here?" she said, turning on the lights. Everyone was in the kitchen.

"SURPRISE!" they shouted. A large cake was on the kitchen table. The gang, along with Hinata, Mao, Ouja, Moe, Orin, Taro, Yuki's mom, Keigo's wife and son, Nishijima, Karyuudo's wife, Yomotsu's wife, and Kamado's orphans -all twenty of them- had baked it for her. Ai and Orin hugged her tightly.

"I'm so glad you're alright!"

"Lady Tsubaki, please don't scare us like that again!"

"You guys made a cake for me?"

"Yeah," said Minene, "we got everyone, and I mean EVERYONE to help. We figured you deserved a big fuckin' cake. And, since it was Yuno's birthday when you tried to off yourself, we decided to make one giant cake instead of two normal cakes. Don't worry, there's no hair in this one."

"Yuno, it was your birthday?"

"Yeah. I didn't tell anyone because...well, you always seemed so sad. I decided to let you share a day with me and the girls instead of making it about myself."

"That's...that's the nicest thing anyone's ever done for me. Besides the cake, I mean. Thank you, Yuno."

"No problem~"

"Tsubaki," said Yuki, "you're one of my best friends. You have no idea how much it means to me, and to all of us, that you're alive." Yuki hugged her and whispered into her ear. "And if you ever fucking tell my friends about me and Yuno's sex life again, I will put you back in that fucking hospital myself. Seriously, I have been getting foot puns all. Fucking. Day."

"Fine, I won't. Probably. Wait, everyone helped? Even Takao?"

"I did, Tsubaki. I care for you as if you were one of my own students."

"...Considering that you tried to kill two of your own students, I don't find that very reassuring. Thanks for helping with the cake, though."

"Alright, everyone," said Kamado, "it's time to cut the cake! Tsubaki, would you like to do the honors?"

Tsubaki smiled. "I'd love that." She walked over to the cake and almost cried when she saw what was written on it:

"To Tsubaki, our friend who we love and could never live without."

"I love you guys," she said.

Author's note: Happy ending!~ Also, I forgot to mention how Yuki feels about Aru last chapter (he considers him to be a friend) and how he feels about Yuno's parents (he hated them even more than his father), and he was actually born in 2001, not 2002~ And fun fact: the Yukis of the First, Second, and Third Worlds (Earths 1A, 1B, and 1C) have their birthdays in early May, meaning that the Fourth World (Earth-2) Yuki is actually younger than them!~ And new character bio!:~

Name: Yuno Gasai/The Second

Age: 14 (now 15)

Species: Human

Race: Japanese

Sexuality: Bi (technically, although one could consider her Yuki-sexual)

Alignment: Chaotic Neutral

Born on November 16, 2001 to unwed teenage parents, Yuno was put up for adoption in Kamado's orphanage. She was adopted by the Gasais, however, her foster mother became severely abusive, and her foster father became extremely neglectful. She was diagnosed with Borderline Personality Disorder after she moved in with the other Diary Holders, however, it's also possible that it might be either BPD combined with other mental illnesses, or something different entirely, as that she occasionally experiences blackouts, and sometimes has vivid nightmares and hallucinations. She is very possessive of Yuki, although not nearly to the extent of her First World counterpart. Yuno loves Yuki more than anyone else, and would do anything -literally, anything- for him. Yuki's also the only person who can calm Yuno down during one of her moments of insanity. She holds a mild grudge against Takao for attempting to kill Yuki. She considers Keigo to be a good person who, as a cop, can help to stop people like her foster parents. She loves Rei as if he were her own child, and often helps Ai and Kamado take care of him. She initially considered Tsubaki to be a potential romantic rival, but has come to consider her to be her closest friend. She considers Marco and Ai to be friends, and often thinks of the similarities between her and Yuki's relationship and theirs. She considers Kamado to be a surrogate mother. She initially considered Minene to be a potential romantic rival (like Tsubaki), but now considers her a friend. She (like Yuki) hates Karyuudo for his failed relationship with his daughter. She considers John to be somewhat of an annoyance, though not as much as Yuki considers him to be. She thinks of Yomotsu as a friend. She thinks of Yuki's mom as a friend. She considers Hinata a friend, and can relate to her failed relationship with her father. She considers Mao a friend. She considers Aru to be her main romantic rival, and is starting to consider him a worthy opponent. She considers Moe to be a romantic rival, but is slowly starting to warm up to her. She thinks Ouja is a dick. She considers Orin and Taro to be friends. She considers Nishijima to be a friend (more or less). Like Yuki, she considers the other Diary Holders' relatives and the orphans to be alright people.


	18. Yuki And Friends

The day after the party, Yuki woke up and remembered Yuno wanting a day with the girls. He decided that he should have a day with his friends. He called Ouja.

"Come on, pick up, you faggot."

"Hello?"

"Oujerkoff, you cunt, me and Aru are gonna into town and dick around. Wanna join us, or do you wanna pussy out?"

"Yeah, I'll come, you asshole. And I'm bringin' beer."

"Cool. Later, prick."

Yuki hung up and called out to Aru.

"Yo, albino! Get your shit, we're gonna hang out with Ouja!"

There was no response.

"Aru? Where the fuck are you?"

Yuki walked into the living room. Aru was talking to Tsubaki.

"...And that's why I wanna be a cop."

"That's pretty cool. I'm sure you'd be great at it."

"Thanks, Tsubaki."

"Make you sure you shoot some blacks!" called out John from his room.

"This is Japan, John. Not a lot of blacks to shoot, dumbass."

"Dude, come on!" said Yuki. "We're gonna go hang out with Ouja. We're takin' the Twelfthmobile."

"That sounds nice. I'll tell Yomotsu, and-"

"Wait a minute, waaaiiiiiit a minute, dude. Yomotsu doesn't like people takin' his car unless absolutely necessary. What he doesn't know won't hurt him."

"But...wouldn't that be stealing?"

"Yeah, kinda."

"But isn't that...y'know, illegal? And morally wrong?"

"...Aru, if you don't shut the fuck up right fuckin' now, I'm gonna kick you straight in the dick."

"But Yomotsu's our friend. Why would we steal from him-"

"STRAIGHT IN THE DICK, ARU, I SWEAR TO GOD."

"Okay, fine, we'll steal it. Jesus."

Yuno and Rei walked into the living room.

"If you guys are going somewhere, can you take Rei? He doesn't get out of the house much."

"Please, big brother?"

"No, you little Ron Weasley-lookin' cunt. Motherfuckin' Cletus Kasady-lookin' Faggo-Tron 3000."

"Pleeeeaaase, baby?" asked Yuno. "For me?~"

"...Alright, fine. We'll take him. Come on, Little Ugly-Ass Jeff Dunham."

The three of walked out the front door.

"Nice cockblock," said Tsubaki.

"I have no idea what you mean~"

"Don't play innocent, you made them take Rei so Aru wouldn't get a chance to hit on Yuki."

"Well...maybe I did cockblock him just a little bit. Do you think Rei will be alright? I mean, I love Yuki and I'd never change anything about him, but he's never really liked Rei that much."

"He'll be fine. Aru will look after him, he's a nice guy."

"You two have been hanging out a lot ever since you came home from the hospital."

"Well, why wouldn't I hang out with him? He's funny, he's smart, he likes the same shows and movies I do, he's really cute, and...why are you smiling at me like that?"

"Tsubaki, do you have a crush on Aru?~"

Tsubaki blushed.

"W-well, I, um, I dunno...maybe."

"You should tell him how you feel. You two would be such a cute couple."

"Why do you care so much?"

"I just think you should have someone that makes you happy."

"That's really nice of you to say that, Yuno. Now, what's the real reason?"

"If he has a girlfriend, he'd stop trying to fuck my boyfriend."

"There we go."

Author's note: Kind of a short chapter, but I'll make it up to you guys next week!~ Oh, and new questions!:~

Cuteweeb: "Who is Michael?"

Michael is an archangel from Heaven.

He was formerly Murmur's superior before the rebellion, but Murmur eventually outranked him when he was promoted.

Guest: "Will there be a lemon of Yuno and Yuki in this series?"

No, it's not really that kind of fic (*Bring Me To Life plays softly in the distance* ;-;).

But their sex life will be explored a bit more~

And new bio!:~

Name: Takao Hiyama/The Third/The Sakurami Ripper

Age: 30

Species: Human

Race: Japanese

Sexuality: Hetero

Alignment: Neutral Evil

Born on April 3, 1986, to an abusive father and neglectful mother, Takao had few friends growing up, and became introverted and more interested in books. His favorites were non-fiction books about serial killers, with his favorite being Jack The Ripper because he was never caught. He grew up to become a middle school teacher. He liked the job because, for the first time in his life, people listened to him and not the other way around. When his father killed his mother in a murder-suicide in 2014, he regretted not taking his revenge on them. He became a serial killer and took out his anger on women who subconsciously reminded him of his mother. Takao is highly intelligent, sadistic, and paranoid. He has died four times, each time getting close to being trapped in Hell, to the point where he's become somewhat of an in-joke among the lower-ranking demons. The most disturbing part of his personality is how easily he can behave like a normal, even likable human being, making him extremely unpredictable. He has killed five women. He cares about his students (Yuki, Yuno, Hinata, Moe, Ouja, and Mao) and considers them friends, with him believing his attempted murder of Yuki and Yuno to have been necessary (if he was going to win the Survival Game, he would have had to kill them eventually). He despises Keigo, blaming him for his house arrest and the loss of his teaching career. He likes Rei because he reminds him of himself when he was a child. He considers Tsubaki a friend. He considers Ai and Marco's relationship (and Yuki and Yuno's relationship) to be interesting, as he has never seen a normal romantic relationship before due to his abusive parents. He dislikes Kamado's constant cheerfulness, but secretly likes her because he believes that if his parents were more like her, his life could have been different. He dislikes Minene because she defeated him in their fight before the start of the story. He hates Karyuudo because of his relationship with his daughter. He considers John to be interesting because of his intelligent, manipulative nature, reminding him of himself. While he says he hates Yomotsu for causing his death and being on the side of the law, strangely, he gets along with him better than anyone else due to their shared introverted backgrounds. He hates Nishijima for escaping him during his and Minene's fight, and for being a cop. He has a neutral opinion of the orphans and family members.


	19. GTA: Sakurami City

Yuki, Aru, Ouja, and Rei were in the Twelfthmobile. Yuki was driving.

"Rei, put your fucking seatbelt on," said Yuki.

"I'll be fine, Big Brother."

"Okay, first off, I told you to stop fuckin' callin' me that, we're not related. And Yuno's gonna be pissed if we get in an accident and you die."

"I'll be fine."

"JUST DO IT, YOU LITTLE FAGGOT!"

"No."

"IT WILL TAKE THE MINIMUM OF PHYSICAL ACTIVITY FOR YOU TO PUT YOUR GODDAMN COCKSUCKING FUCK-CUCKING SEATBELT ON!"

"I'll be fine."

"...Fine. Y'know what? I'm gonna do something that my dad did when I didn't put my seatbelt on."

"What's that-"

Yuki slammed on the brakes, causing Rei to fly into the windshield and fall on the floor.

"I see one fucking tear, I'm doing it again."

"You're an asshole, Big Brother."

"Should've put your seatbelt on."

"What are we even gonna do today?" asked Ouja.

"Well, dicklicker-"

"Asshole."

"Okay, well, asshole...I don't actually know, I thought you'd have something."

"Are you fuckin' serious?"

"Yeah, bitch. I mean, I guess we could visit my mom. Been a few days since I saw her."

"Fag."

"...Ouja, could you take your seatbelt off for a quick second?"

At Yuki's mom's house, Yuki's mom, Rea, made the boys dinner.

"Thanks, mom."

"No problem, Yuki. I love when you bring your friends over."

"Why?"

"Because then I know you actually have friends."

"...Alright, then."

Ouja started to laugh. A few quick glares from Yuki and Aru made him stop.

"Miss Amano," said Aru, "this tastes amazing. Honestly, it's some of the best food I've ever had in my entire two weeks of existence."

"Thank you, Aru. And please, call me Rea."

"Of course, Rea. You look amazing, by the way."

"It's just something I found in my closet. I'll get you boys some drinks."

As she left, Yuki glared at Aru.

"What was that?"

"What do you mean?"

"You know what I fucking mean."

"Really, I don't-"

"Aru, I'm only gonna say this once, as your friend. Don't even think about fucking my mother. It won't end well for you."

"I wasn't trying to-"

Rea came back with some drinks.

"Here you go, boys~"

"Thanks, Miss Amano," said Rei.

"Thank you, Rei. Yuki, he's so cute."

"I guess."

"Honestly, I'm a little surprised you don't have a kid by now. I've heard that you and Yuno are certainly...'active' together."

"Who told you that?!"

"Oh, people talk~ People like your friend Minene."

"Of course she did."

After the boys left Rea's house, they went to see a movie.

"Alright," whispered Yuki to Aru, "the Living Tribunal- get your arm off my shoulder -it's like this huge fuckin' god-thing that looks over the multiverse. Really fuckin' strong."

"And that's why it's bad that Mordo has it?"

"Exactly. Oh, movie's over. Let's go."

As they left, Aru thought to himself, "I cut a hole in my fucking popcorn for nothing."

In the car, after they dropped off Ouja at his house, Yuki talked with Rei.

"So, uh, what's goin' on in your life?"

"Nothing, really. But I did make friends with some of the orphans at Tsubaki's party."

"That's cool. At least you're not a complete loser. Y'know, Rei, I know I can be kind of a dick sometimes, but I like these little talks we have. Feels like I'm your stepdad."

"Are you and Big Sister going to be my stepparents?"

"I dunno, Rei, is your seatbelt on?"

"...Never mind."

"Well, today was kinda uneventful. Like, it was nice day, but, y'know, we never really did anything cool. Hino told me that one time, some assholes hijacked the bus she and Mao were on, so-" Yuki started to laugh, "so one of these assholes, or at least one of their friends, was a cop, right? So she and Mao stole the tires from his car! And they found another cop car, so they took the tires off of that. And one of the assholes had tied their car to the bus, so they fuckin' towed it to some shithole in the middle of nowhere and left it!"

"...You know what, I'm not saying anything."

Note: I forgot to mention how Takao feels about Aru~ He thinks he's annoying~ Also, Yuki thinks Deus is a dick, Yuno thinks he's a dick, and Takao hates him for sending him to Hell~ Yuki, Yuno, and Takao think Murmur's a dick~ And new bio!~

Name: Keigo Kurusu/The Fourth

Age: 30

Species: Human

Ethnicity: Japanese

Sexuality: Hetero

Alignment: Lawful Good

Born on March 23, 1986, into a family of cops, Keigo was inspired by the law from a young age. He entered the police academy at the first chance he got, eventually graduating and becoming Chief Inspector of the SCPD. He has a wife, Naoko, and a ten year old son, Yoi. Yoi was born with a heart condition, initially unknown to his parents, but Murmur told Keigo about it. Yoi got treatment for his condition and is now living a normal life. Keigo loves his family, and would do anything for them. Keigo is a calm, nice person, and is often annoyed by the other Diary Holders' criminal antics. He considers Yuki and Yuno to be somewhat misguided, but ultimately good people. He has nothing but hatred for Takao. He cares for Rei because he reminds him of Yoi. He is concerned about Tsubaki's drug abuse, and considers her a friend. He and his wife are friends with Marco and Ai. He is friends with Kamado, and considers her to be one of the only sane people in the house. He initially hated Minene, but now believes she can be rehabilitated. He hates Karyuudo. He thinks John is an asshole. He and his wife are friends with Yomotsu and his wife. He is friends with Aru. He has a neutral opinion of the family members and orphans. He often wonders why Deus would pick people like Takao, Karyuudo, and John to be Diary Holders. He is somewhat scared of Murmur, considering that he owes him twice- once for causing Deus to cancel the Survival Game, and once for telling him about Yoi's heart condition.


	20. Perchance To Dream

After Aru got home, he went to his (formerly Yuno's) room and, after Yuki was finished yelling at Minene for telling his mother about his and Yuno's sex life, fell asleep. He began to dream.

He found himself in a black void. An iron table and two obsidian chairs materialized, followed by an oak bookcase filled with novels by Mark Twain, HP Lovecraft, Stephen King, and novels that weren't in any known language. Aru thought these books were the strangest things he'd ever seen, until their owner appeared.

The entity was roughly seven feet tall. Its lower body was covered by the bottom of a gold-as in, the actual metal-and white ball gown. Its torso was covered in gold-again, literally-and black Roman-style armor. Its arms were long, pure white, and appeared to be made out of some kind of gelatinous substance. The fingers-also white and gelatinous, like the arms and hands-were slightly longer than average. The creature was completely headless. It was holding a golden-once again, literally-and light blue staff, with a white mask on the end. The left half resembled a comedy mask, while the right half resembled a tragedy mask.

"Hello, Observer," said the mask in a calm, androgynous voice.

Aru was too shocked to respond.

"I said, 'hello'. Please, sit down."

Aru sat down. The creature sat in the other chair.

"H-hi, I..." Aru stared at the monster in front of him. "...I know you. I-I KNOW you. You're in my first memory. After Deus and Murmur told me of my purpose, I heard your voice...whispering in my ear. In my head. You told me that I could choose my own destiny, th-that I could do great things, that I could be a God, that I could...that I could build a new Eden."

"A shame that you never built your Eden, Observer."

"My name is Aru Akise. The Observer...he was a mistake. I thought he was an accident, a flaw in my creation, but...but you created him on purpose. Why? How would that benefit you?"

"It would give us a servant on this universe. We could easily rule it."

"You're not from this universe?"

"We are not from this multiverse."

"There are more of you?"

"Yes, Aru. Many more. We're not so different, Aru."

"How the fuck are we alike?!"

"We were both artificially created. And we are both very young."

"How old are you?"

"I am two years old."

"What...what ARE you?"

The mask completed its half-smile, in a way that made it look organic. Aru felt like he was going to be sick.

"I am Traum, Lord Of Dreams, King Of The Mind, Ruler Of The Soul, add one of the Councillors of the Death Fibers. Our leader and creator, the Master Of Puppets, wished to use my superior and his second-in-command, the Song And Dance Man, to recruit you. However, as that idiot was on Earth-KLK-1, dicking around with inferior beings, I was sent instead. I implanted a Death Fiber in your brain and watched as it drove you to insanity."

"Earth-KLK-1? What's my Earth called?"

"Earth-MN-2."

"Where are you from?"

"A pocket dimension outside the KLK multiverse. It is where all Death Fibers originate. Well, except for the Song And Dance Man. He is inferior, despite what he prefers to believe."

"Why are you telling me all this?"

"I simply have nothing better to do. And when you awake, you will remember none of this. You will forget I ever existed. Goodbye, pseudohuman."

Aru woke up. He remembered nothing.

Author's Note: If you're wondering what the fuck just happened, read my Kill La Kill fic (it explains Death Fibers better, though Traum only briefly appears in chapter 20 and chapter 30)~ Also, Takao's parents both had some British ancestry~

Name: Reisuke Houjou/Rei/The Fifth

Age: 4 (now 5)

Species: Human

Ethnicity: Japanese (some Scottish ancestry on both parents' side)

Sexuality: Hetero

Alignment: Chaotic Good

Born on November 10, 2011, Rei was born to neglectful parents, who were members of Tsubaki's cult. His father was a gambling addict, and his mother spent whatever he won on useless crap. They were mutually abusive to each other, although they did love Rei enough to buy him his puppets. They burned to death when Tsubaki got her revenge on her cult. Rei had no friends before he met the Diary Holders, and wasn't even in school. Rei has an IQ of 145, making him the smartest Diary Holder despite his young age. He is very knowledgeable about chemistry, to the point where the other Diary Holders suspect he might be a high-functioning autistic. He learned about chemistry from books his parents bought for him, the one thing they both agreed was worth spending money on. Rei, defying all logic and sanity, sees Yuki as a surrogate father figure. He sees Yuno as a surrogate mother figure. He has an odd friendship with Takao, relating to him through their shared friendless background. He likes Keigo, and sees him as another surrogate father figure. He hates Tsubaki for killing his parents, although he's started to warm up to her. He sees Marco and Ai's relationship as what his parents' could've been like. He partially blames himself for his parents' fighting and financial problems, even though it was the cult that caused the most stress in their relationship. He sees Kamado as a surrogate mother figure. He considers Minene to be a friend. He hates Karyuudo for his failed relationship with his daughter, like most of the other Diary Holders do. He has an odd friendship with John. He considers Yomotsu to be a friend. Aru is his closest friend. He considers the family members and orphans to be friends. He is grateful that Deus gave him the opportunity to make friends. He is interested in Murmur, and believes he's not really as evil as he claims to be.


	21. Yuno And Minene

Minene woke up in the middle of the night screaming. She sighed.

"Goddammit, I thought I was over this."

There was a knock at her door. It was Yuno.

"Minene? Are you alright?"

"Yeah, I'm fine. Just a stupid fuckin' dream."

"Wanna talk about it?"

"No."

"Why not?"

"Because I just don't want to. Leave me alone."

"...Are you sure you're alright?"

"Of course I'm alright. Why wouldn't I be?"

"I mean, it's just that...well, you've been screaming in the middle of the night all week. And, well, every time I've asked you about it, you said it was nothing. I just wanna talk to you about it and make sure you're okay."

"...Fine. Come in."

Yuno opened the door and walked in. She sat on Minene's bed.

"What was the dream about?"

"Well...it wasn't really like a dream. It was more like a memory."

"Well, what happened in it?"

Minene sighed. "It happened when I was a kid. My parents brought me on a trip to Israel. They were archaeologists, and they went there to study this ancient temple that had just been discovered." She laughed bitterly. "Israel. Of all fucking places, it had to be that fucking shithole. The one place in the Middle East that was filled with Jews. I dunno if you learned this in school, but the Middle East isn't exactly a Jew-friendly place. Palestinians shoot at Israelis, Israelis shoot at Palestinians, and neither side gives a fuck about who gets caught in the crossfire. T-they just kill and butcher each other for the most retarded fucking reasons, and they don't fucking care who gets hurt! My parents died in Israel, right in front of me. I still remember every bit of it. I remember the blood coming out of the bullet hole in my father's head. I remember the look in my mother's eyes as she was shot through the heart. I-I tried to forget it, b-but I just CAN'T!" Minene started to cry. Yuno hugged her.

"When did the dream first start?"

"The night after my parents were killed. It happened every single fucking night for months. Now, it's just every few months."

"After I killed my parents, I started having nightmares. I know how it feels."

"Yuno...you hallucinate sometimes, right?"

"...Sometimes. Why?"

"Well, sometimes...sometimes I see my parents when I'm awake. Like, sometimes a hear a loud noise or something, and there they are. Still dead. Still bleeding. Sometimes I see myself. I was such a good kid...how the fuck did I end up like this?"

"I ask myself that sometimes, too. I mean, I-I killed my own parents. I'm only fifteen, for God's sake!"

"God. What a sadistic bastard."

"He really is. Anyway, Minene, I don't think that we have the same...you know, 'condition'. I think you might have something, well...different. I've read some stuff about post-"

"Don't say it."

"I'm just saying-"

"DON'T FUCKING SAY IT. And stop fucking looking at me like that!"

"Like what?"

"LIKE I'M FUCKING CRAZY!"

"Minene, I'm not saying that you're crazy, I just think you need help. I started going to a therapist, I started taking pills, and now I feel a lot better."

"I'm not going to a fucking therapist, and I'm not taking any goddamn meds."

"Well, maybe you just need someone in your life to help you. Someone to make you feel like Yuki makes me feel. Maybe someone you know."

"...Uh, Yuno, I'm flattered, but I don't really swing that way."

"What?"

"I mean, if you wanna experiment, maybe you can try Tsubaki. If she's drunk enough, she'll do anything. Yuki would probably be into that, anyway."

"I meant Nishijima."

"Oh. Well...I guess I could try that. I have to admit, he is pretty good-looking."

"There's a smile~"

"Thanks for listening, Yuno. You're a good friend."

They heard Aru screaming in his room down the hallway. He had just woken up from his encounter with Traum.

"What's he screaming about?" asked Minene.

"Who cares?"

Note: I forgot to mention how Keigo and Rei feel about Hinata, Moe, Ouja, and Mao (Keigo considers them to be good, if somewhat misguided, kids, and Rei considers them to be friends)~ Also, Yuki has some British ancestry from both of his parents~ Also, Keigo and Rei both consider Nishijima to be their friend~

Name: Tsubaki Kasugano/The Sixth

Age: 14

Species: Human

Ethnicity: Japanese

Sexuality: Hetero (Depending on how intoxicated she is)

Alignment: Chaotic Neutral

Born on February 9, 2002, Tsubaki was born to a pair of cult leaders. The Omekata Cult, which her parents led, had both Christian and Buddhist influences. It was a benevolent, peaceful religion. Tsubaki was kept inside the cult's temple due to her poor eyesight, which she had been born with. When Funatsu, the sociopathic second-in-command of the cult, learned that Tsubaki's parents wanted to disband the cult to give Tsubaki a normal life, he killed them both and became the cult's leader. He manipulated the cult's members into raping Tsubaki daily, telling them that it would relieve them of their sins. He did this to break Tsubaki emotionally, so she would never gain control of the cult. However, Tsubaki held on to a rubber ball given to her by her mother. To Tsubaki, the ball was a symbol of hope. While originally a cheerful, optimistic girl, when Tsubaki learned that Deus wasn't omnipotent and of the Survival Game, she became cynical and depressed. She killed all of the cult's members, including Funatsu and Rei's parents. Tsubaki turned to mindless hedonism as a coping mechanism, mainly through drugs, alcohol, and sex. Tsubaki's promiscuity originated as a subconscious desire to be in control of her own sexuality, which backfired due to her addictive personality. She prefers to be the dominant person during sex. Tsubaki considers Yuki and Yuno to be her closest friends. She considers Takao to be annoying. She considers Keigo to be a surrogate father figure, but hates the police because she views them as ineffective, as they never knew of her being raped. She dislikes Rei, but the two are starting to bond over their shared experience of not having parents. Ai and Marco are close friends of hers. She views Kamado as a surrogate mother. She is friends with Minene, bonding with her over their shared hatred of religion. She, like most of the other Diary Holders, hates Karyuudo because of his failed relationship with Hinata. She thinks John is annoying. She is friends with Yomotsu, bonding with him over their shared belief that the police are ineffective. She has romantic feelings for Aru. She considers Hinata, Moe, Ouja, and Mao to be her friends. She has a neutral opinion of the family members. She considers the orphans to be her friends, especially Orin. She thinks Nishijima is annoying. She hates Deus and Murmur.


	22. John Bacchus' Spider-Man

The gang was in the living room. John had called them all there for, in his words, "something amazing".

"So, what do you think the cracker's gonna tell us?" asked Yuki.

"Something stupid, probably," said Kamado.

John walked into the room holding a stack of papers.

"Ladies, gentlemen, faggots of all ages," he began, "I've done it. I've bought the rights to Sam Raimi's Spider-Man, and I'm going to remake it. And not as a part of the cinematic universe thing Marvel's doing, it is entirely a separate entity, co-written by Aru and I. Aru, I must thank you for keeping this a secret."

"No problem."

"Okay, so why should we care?" asked Minene.

"Well, that's the best part! You, my friends-"

"We're not friends," said Tsubaki.

"-are going to star in it!"

"Fuck yeah!" said Yuki.

"I'm glad you feel that way, Yukiteru, because you get the lead role!" John put the papers on a small table. "Yuno, you get Mary Jane."

"Nice.

"Karyuudo, you get Green Goblin."

"Seems appropriate."

"Aru's playing Harry Osborn."

"I was originally going to cast myself as Spider-Man, but I thought that would've been too easy. I mean, if you want to keep the audience's attention, what better way than to take it from the hero?"

"Keigo's playing Uncle Ben."

"Hooray, I play the dead guy."

"Kamado, you're playing Aunt May."

"That could be fun."

"Yomotsu, you're playing J. Jonah Jameson."

"But I don't have a mustache, I've been told he has a Hitler mustache."

"Grow one. Marco, you're playing Flash Thompson."

"Makes sense that I'm playing the popular guy."

"Rei, you're playing Robbie Robertson."

"...What in the fuck...?"

"Tsubaki, you're playing Dennis Carradine, the guy who kills Uncle Ben. I mean, you don't have any lines anyway, so who cares if you're playing a man?"

"I really just wanna see how this trainwreck unfolds."

"Minene, you're playing Betty Brant."

"Alright."

"Ai, you're playing Dr. Stromm. Like Tsubaki, you're a very minor character, so nobody cares."

"And also like Tsubaki, I wanna see how badly you fuck this up."

"And Takao, you're playing Bonesaw."

"BONESAW IS FUCKING READY!"

"Alright, Jesus. Calm the fuck down."

"Yeah, um, John," said Keigo, "I have a few questions about this script."

"Okay, go ahead."

"Yeah, it's about my lines. Well, several of them. All of them. I have a lot of problems with Ben saying this shit."

"Well, what's one line in particular you have problems with?"

"Alright, let's see..yeah, here it is: 'You know, Peter, with great power comes great responsibility. Rudyard Kipling called it 'White Man's Burden.' Myself, I just call it as I see it: the responsibility of the master to discipline the servant.' And then I look directly at the camera: 'The niggers, the spics, the chinks...it's our responsibility to civilize them. And if we can't? Then they shall dangle from the elm tree. The Day Of The Rope is near, Pete. We'll have every nigger in this country dead or in chains in ten years, and may God have me shot in a carjacking this very night if I'm wrong. God bless the American Nazi Party.'"

"Yes, and your problem?"

"It, I mean...what the fuck?"

"It's an important scene and I'm not changing it."

"Yeah, I got a few questions, too," said Yuki.

"Alright, I can see some of you have problems, that's fine. I'm an open-minded and I am okay with constructive criticism."

"Okay, first of all, you're not open-minded at all, and here's a line I got a problem with: 'Of course I've got good aim, watch me web this Boeing right in the cockpit window.' And then Yakety Sax plays as the towers fall."

"And the problem is...?"

"Well, why Yakety Sax? It's so overdone."

"Hmm. Good point."

"Well, I have no problems," said Karyuudo.

"Good. I think the, 'DO YOU KNOW HOW MANY NIGGERS I SACRIFICED?!' line is the highlight of Norman's character."

"Yes, that one's amazing. I also love his little monologue here: 'A word to the 'not-so-wise' about your little girlfriend. Do what you need to do with her, then broom her fast. They don't keep giving blowjobs forever, son. Do it before you find yourself sitting alone on a chair in some seedy hotel room. You're looking over a queen size mattress with the mother of your child getting fucked from behind, doggy style, from a black guy from Jamaica, Queens. All you can do is bury your face in your hands while listening to her moan uncontrollably, calling out the name of a stranger. You try to make eye contact with her, but she doesn't even turn her glance towards you. No, her eyes are shifting towards the back of her skull while you plead with her to just go home. After about an hour or two, you finally leave, and on the drive home, you say, 'Well, we can put that behind us and forget that ever happened.' She turns and says, 'I'll never forget, Norman, and even if I could, I wouldn't want to.' Every night after that she sleeps with her back turned to you, and you just go to bed weeping, hoping you won't wake up the next morning.'"

"Thank you."

"It's great, very relatable."

"I also have a problem," said Yomotsu.

"Fine, just come out with it. What line is it?"

"First off, thank you for the Braille script. And here's the line: 'I remember 9/11. Sat right at that window and watched people on the top floor take swan dives. Took bets on how many would wind up looking like spilled lasagna. I shit you not...I was only two jumpers away from winning the office pool. Then the damn thing collapsed. Anyway, let's get back to Spider-Man.'"

"I'm not changing a goddamn thing."

Yuno raised her hand.

"What line is it?"

"Actually, it's a scene."

"Which one?"

"The one where Spidey trampolines on a penis-shaped web on Ground Zero."

"It's to symbolize how the gays are destroying civilization. Do you not see the skinny little cumbucket suckboy I cast?"

"I'm straight!" said Yuki.

"Well, you don't look straight, you fucking twink!" said John and Aru at the same time.

"I'm glad somebody finally said it," said Tsubaki. "So, when are we shooting this?"

"Sometime during Spring. Yuno, go help Yukiteru into his costume. I've put it on the kitchen table."

Yuki and Yuno went into the kitchen. "I think you look sexy just the way you are~" said Yuno. They came out a few minutes later, with Yuki wearing a Spider-Man costume.

"Well, what do you guys think? Also, Tsubaki and Aru, stop stealing glances. If you wanna check out my bulge, go ahead and do it. It's not weird, we're friends."

Note: Well, that was...something~ I don't know what it was, but it was something~

Name: Marco Ikusaba/The Seventh

Age: 25

Species: Human

Ethnicity: Japanese (some Italian ancestry on his mother's side)

Sexuality: Hetero

Alignment: Chaotic Good

Born on August 6, 1991, Marco was orphaned at the age of eleven. He was then taken in and raised by Kamado. While visiting the Sakurami Observation Tower one day, he met the ten year old Ai, who had been abandoned by her parents. Kamado took her in, and the two have been inseparable since that day. Marco is cocky and hot-headed, and loves to fight. He would do anything to protect Ai. He and Yuki dislike each other; ironically, they have similar personalities (much like Yuki's relationships with Ouja and his father). He likes Yuno because she reminds him of Ai when she was younger. He dislikes Takao. He is friends with Keigo, Rei, and Tsubaki. He loves Ai more than anyone else. He sees Kamado as a surrogate mother figure. He is friends with Minene. He dislikes Karyuudo, not for being a bad father, but because he's a dick. He dislikes John. He is friends with Yomotsu. He thinks Aru is annoying. He is friends with Hinata, Mao, Moe, Ouja, the family members, the orphans, and Nishijima. He has a neutral opinion of Deus and Murmur.


	23. A Very Future Christmas

Yuki and Yuno were on the couch watching TV.

"Y'know, Yuno..." Yuki laughed at his unintentional pun. "I always kinda felt bad for the Grinch. Like, the Whos are just obnoxious little cunts. Loud fuckers."

"Yeah, I kinda noticed that when I was around ten."

"I've always noticed it. Me and mom used to always watch it together."

"Yeah, my family had some Christmas traditions, too."

"Me and dad had one, too. It was probably the only time we ever got along. The Christmas B And E was my favorite tradition."

"...The what?"

"The Christmas B And E. Y'know, like where you go into your neighbors' houses before they wake up, and you get your presents, and then you leave, and then they wake up and get their presents? And you're not allowed to tell mom because it's a guy thing and so dad has to tell her he got a raise at the job he lost five months ago for being drunk all the time?"

"Yeah, I, uh, I never did that."

"Makes sense, you're a girl."

"Nobody does that."

"Yeah, they do! Yo, Keigo," he called out to Keigo in the kitchen, "back me up on this!"

"Yuki, considering the amount of times I've arrested your father, it's probably bullshit."

"Damn."

"I think I've actually arrested you once, about two years back."

"Yeah, me and Ouja got drunk and beat the shit out of each other. Anyway, Yuno, what were your family's traditions?"

"Definitely when the Santas came to the house to cheer my mom up when my dad was at work. I had most of the house to myself for hours, so I could do whatever I wanted. Mainly, sniffing glue. I got a ton of presents, like basketballs, crack pipes, wrenches, stuff kids like. The Santas even brought elves." Yuno paused. "I mean...I think they were elves. Could've been midgets. My memory's kinda weird about that for some reason."

"Probably the glue. Also, uh, babe, I hate to say this but...I think your mom was a Santa whore."

"What?! No, she just needed the Santas to cheer her up because she was lonely because...my dad...was always...working oh my God my mom was a Santa whore!"

"This really can't be that much of a surprise."

Meanwhile, Aru, Tsubaki, and Rei were at the mall. They were Christmas shopping with Kamado and Karyuudo. They were discussing how this was their first Christmas.

"So, Christmas looks...interesting."

"Really colorful."

"And loud. Way too many songs."

"And apparently, it involves telling children that a morbidly obese elf-like elderly man will break into their houses while they sleep and leave them presents."

"I was in a cult, and even I think that's weird."

"I never believed it for a second."

"The TV specials are nice, though."

"Yeah, Frosty's my favorite."

"My favorite part is when the children worship their ambiguously living snow golem through song."

"And they brought it to life with a stolen hat."

"I also loved Professor Hinkle's descent into madness."

"If he's a professor, does that mean the whole magician thing is like a hobby?"

"And why does Santa speak a fluent rabbit?"

"It does seem like a strange language to learn."

"If he speaks rabbit, does he also speak other animal languages?"

"Probably. Anyway, we should probably catch up with Kamado and..." He noticed Tsubaki was blushing. "What is it?" She pointed upwards to some mistletoe that was hanging from the ceiling.

"T-there, um..."

"I'll go find the others, you two can just wait here."

"Uh, yeah, see you later, Rei."

Rei walked further into the mall.

"U-um, s-so, Aru...I-I guess we're supposed to..."

"Yeah, uh, I guess we are."

Tsubaki and Aru looked into each other's eyes and moved closer.

"Hey, kids!" said Kamado, who was walking towards them with shopping bags in each hand. Rei and Karyuudo were behind her.

"...Hi, Kamado."

"You little shit, Rei," hissed Tsubaki under her breath.

"Hey, it's not my fault. This was just a happy accident."

"Hello, children."

"Shut up, Karyuudo."

"Well, fuck you too, Tsubaki."

Meanwhile, at the house, Yuki and Yuno were still watching TV.

"So, baby...I have something to tell you."

"What is it?"

"Well, you might get mad..."

"I couldn't get mad at you, Yuno. Just tell me what it is."

Kamado, Karyuudo, Aru, Tsubaki, and Rei had just drove home in the Twelfthmobile.

"And as I was saying earlier to Tsubaki and Rei," said Aru, "the whole concept of Frosty The Snowman is actually somewhat disturbing-"

He was interrupted by Yuki screaming from inside the house. Yuno had told him something, and he felt he was reacting appropriately:

" _ **YOU INVITED MY FATHER FOR CHRISTMAS?!**_ "


	24. A Very Christmas Diary

"I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU DID THIS!"

"Look, Yuki, I just thought-"

"WELL, YOU THOUGHT FUCKIN' WRONG!"

"Hey, don't get pissed at me! You...wait, are we having our first fight?"

"...Yeah, I guess we are."

"What are we supposed to do about this?"

"Well, when my parents fought, they usually just screamed at each other and threw things."

"So did mine."

Outside the house, Aru, Rei, Tsubaki, Kamado, and Karyuudo were waiting for Yuki and Yuno to calm down.

"Should we...do something?"

"We should probably just stay out here. Big brother sounds really mad."

"They'll chill out eventually."

"Tsubaki's right, we just need to give them some time."

"This is going to be a long wait, isn't it?"

About an hour later, Karyuudo was proven right.

"I'm gonna ask them if they can stop," said Tsubaki. She walked up to the house, opened the door, and poked her head in the doorway.

"Hey, guys-"

A plate broke above her head.

"Never mind." She walked back to the others. "Yuki threw a plate at me. I don't think they're chilling out."

"Oh, fuck this!" said Aru. He walked into the house, barely reacting to the glass that hit him in the chest.

"Yuki! Yuno! Both of you STOP IT RIGHT FUCKING **NOW!** " He shouted. He fired a beam of light from his right hand into the ceiling, surprising the two fighting lovers. "Yeah. I can still do that. We have been out there for an HOUR freezing our asses off because of your bullshit!"

"Well, it's not MY fault that Yuno-"

"Well, it's not MY fault that Yuki-"

Aru glared at both of them. "Clean this up. Right. Now. When you're done, you can both sit down and TALK through this like NORMAL FUCKING PEOPLE!"

Later, when they had cleaned up the living room, Yuki and Yuno agreed to at least give Yuki's father a chance. It was almost Christmas Eve. Minene walked into the room.

"Did you guys say Kurou Amano? Kurou 'K' Amano?"

"Yeah," said Yuki. "Why?"

"Well, I once a met a guy named Kurou in a bar a few years ago. You have a picture of him?"

"I got one on my phone. Here."

Minene looked at the picture and started laughing. "Oh my god!"

"What?"

"Well, see, Kurou was kind of a prick when I met him."

"Yeah, he's an asshole."

"You're an asshole, and we put up with you. Anyway, I was sexually frustrated-well, not as much as I am now, but still pretty frustrated-and he was a good-looking prick."

"...Wait."

"And he had a good-looking prick, if you catch my drift."

"Wait, no."

"I."

"No."

"Fucked."

"NO."

"Your dad!"

"NOOO!"

A few hours later, Kurou pulled up to the driveway in his black 1964 Impala. He walked up to the house and knocked on the door. Yuno let him in. He was wearing black pants and a white shirt. Yuki was wearing the exact same outfit.

"...Well, this is all kinds of disturbing," said Tsubaki.

"Hey, Yukiteru! How are you?"

"I'm fine."

"Your dating such a nice girl, son. Honestly, I thought you were gay for the LONGEST time. I mean, like, no offense, but you're kinda what someone would call...queerbait, I think is the right word. Hiyama, how are you?"

"I've been better."

"Inspector, long time, no see!"

"I would've preferred if it had remained that way, Amano."

"Minene, how are you today?"

"I'm alright."

"Mayor Bacchus, it's an honor to meet you."

"Hello, Mr. Amano."

"Yuki, aren't you gonna introduce me to your friends?"

"Sure. The ginger kid is Rei, the anorexic bitch is Tsubaki, the guy with the retarded hair is Marco, the slut is Ai, the fat one is Kamado, the asshole is Karyuudo, the blind guy is Yomotsu, and the albino is Aru."

"Cool, cool. You guys got any booze?"

"In the kitchen."

"Thanks." Kurou walked into the kitchen.

"Yuki, I don't see why you got such a problem with him," said Yuno, "He seems nice."

"Give him a few minutes," said Yuki, Takao, Keigo, and Minene. Yuki looked noticeably uncomfortable, as if he was making sure his father didn't hear that.

"Maybe we could even invite your mom over to see him. I'm sure she-" Yuki glared at her, causing her to drop the subject.

Kurou walked back into the room. "That's probably not a good idea, Yuno. Stupid bitch got a restraining order on me, can you believe it? Also, there's no vodka there."

"U-um, yeah, I-I drank it..." said Yuki quietly.

"Figures. Anyway, Yuno, don't fuckin' invite the slut, alright?" Kurou laughed.

"Uh...okay, I guess I won't invite her."

"You'd better not."

"...I'm sorry, what's that supposed to mean?"

"Nothin', chill out. I'm gonna go buy some more booze, see you later. K Amano is OUT!" He walked out the door, got in his car, and drove off.

"Yuki, are you seriously gonna let him talk about your mom like that?" asked Aru.

"Yes."

"But usually you get pissed when-"

"Look, just drop it."

"But-"

"I SAID FUCKING DROP IT!"

"Alright. Jesus."

A few hours later, Kurou came back. "This is some good fuckin' vodka! Hey, dipshit, come over here!" Yuki walked over.

"What-" Kurou put him in a chokehold.

"Oh, this is gonna be satisfying to watch," said Minene.

"You know why I had to go buy more booze?"

"N-no...!"

"You know why I had to more booze?!"

"No, I don't!"

"Because SOMEONE drank all the vodka, and left behind all that shitty whiskey that he KNOWS I don't like!"

"St-st-st-stop it, d-d-d-dad!" said Yuki with tears in his eyes, surprising everyone except for Kurou.

"...What the hell was that?" asked Minene.

"Oh, it's his stutter. He gets it whenever he's bein' a pussy." Kurou released his grip on Yuki, who was struggling to breath. "Little fag probably pissed himself, too."

"I-I-I didn't-" Yuki pulled his shirt down over the crotch of his pants. He ran up to his room crying.

"Fuckin' queer. I'm gonna go sleep in your basement. Later." He walked downstairs.

The room fell into an uncomfortable silence.

"Christ," said Takao, "Even I found that hard to watch."

"Y'know," said Minene, "this really explains a lot."

"Poor Yuki," said Ai. "Can you imagine having a father like that? No wonder he's such a jerk."

"I'll go talk to him," said Yuno. She walked up to her and Yuki's room, and slowly opened the door. "Baby? Are you alright?"

"Go away! It's your fault he's here!"

She closed the door behind her. "Yuki, I had no idea he was this bad. I'm so sorry."

"I should've told you more about him."

"Let's just agree we were both in the wrong." She kissed him. "You need to stand up to him."

"I-I can't do that!"

"You have to, or he'll just keep acting like this."

"I'm not gonna stand up to him!"

"Why not?"

"BECAUSE IT'S MY FAULT HE LEFT MOM IN THE FIRST PLACE!"

"What?"

"It wasn't the gambling, it was me! The only reason he never tried to get back together with mom is because I'm not the son he wanted! That's why mom's in that shitty house with that shitty job! It's all my fault!" Yuno hugged him tightly.

"Yuki, that's not true and you know it. The only person to blame is him. Who cares what he thinks? Your mom loves you more than anyone else, and I love you, too. You have a lot of friends that love you."

"No, they don't. They hate me. I'm always an asshole to them."

"Maybe you are, but they're still your friends. They care about you, even Takao and Minene."

"Are you sure?"

"I know they do, baby."

The two of them walked out of their room and back into the living room. Rei ran up to Yuki and hugged his leg.

"Hey, uh, Yuki, are you okay?" asked Minene.

"Yeah, I'm good."

"That's good to hear," said Kamado.

"My father was a bastard, too," said Takao.

Kurou walked back upstairs. "Will you shut the fuck up? I'm tryin' to sleep down there!"

"Yuki, is there anything you'd like to say to him?" asked Yuno.

"N-no..."

"Just come out and say it, pussy!"

"Hey, don't talk to him like that!"

"He's my fuckin' son, you retarded cunt, I'll talk to him however the fuck I want!" He raised his hand. "Why don't you shut up before you really piss me off?"

"Try it, asshole!"

Kurou's hand was about to slap Yuno's face, when Yuki grabbed him. "Get out of my house."

Kurou laughed snidely. "What was that, you fuckin' pu-"

"GET OUT!"

"You little shit! After all I've done for you these years?"

"YOU HAVEN'T DONE A GODDAMN THING FOR ME! NOW GET THE FUCK OUT OF HERE AND NEVER COME BACK!" Yuki punched Kurou in the face.

"You..FUCKING LITTLE-"

Keigo walked up behind Yuki and put his hand on his shoulder. "It's time for you to leave. Piss off, or I'll arrest you for attempted assault."

"...Whatever." Kurou opened the door. "Merry Christmas, assholes."

"Merry Christmas, Kurou," said Yuki, who slammed the door in his face. He turned towards Keigo. "Thanks, man. That really meant a lot to me."

"No problem. I wouldn't want anyone to treat my son like that."

On Christmas Eve, everyone's family arrived for dinner. They had a small party afterwards. Rea talked with Naoko, Ai, Kamado, Minene, and Maken.

"So my husband really threatened to arrest him?" asked Naoko.

"Yeah," said Rea. "I wouldn't blame him, Kurou's a prick. It's why I left him. Well, that and the gambling."

"My husband would just try to beat him up," said Maken.

"Mine, too," said Ai.

"Normally, I try to give everyone a chance," said Kamado, "but that man was just awful!"

"Nice dick, though," said Minene.

"Well, you're not wrong," said Rea. The women laughed. "Six inches!" They laughed harder.

"His son's is bigger," chimed in Yuno, much to Yuki's embarrassment. Everyone laughed. They were all having a great time: Hinata, Mao, Karyuudo, and his wife were baking a cake in the kitchen (with Yuki's recipe; without the hair, of course), Rei and Yoi were playing with the orphans, Takao, Keigo, Marco, John, and Yomotsu were talking about their jobs (Takao was talking about his favorite and least favorite students, Keigo was walking about his most memorable arrests, Marco was talking about being unemployed, John was talking about the dirty secrets of various politicians, and Yomotsu was talking about the most expensive comics he ever sold), Moe and Ouja found themselves under the mistletoe, and Yuki, Yuno, Tsubaki, and Aru were getting drunk.

"Yuko-uh, no, Yuni-uh, no, nevermind, this-this is some good fuckin' eggnog right here," said Tsubaki.

"Yeah, my mom made it."

"Exactly how much have you had?" asked Yuno.

"I-I dunno 'bout her," slurred Aru, "but I'm-I'm drunk enough to do this!" He kissed Yuki while flipping off Yuno, and then walked away.

"...Well, now I'm pissed off."

"Same here," said Yuki.

"Oh yeah?" Tsubaki called out to Aru, "Well, I'm drunk enough to do THIS!" She kissed Yuki, and then French kissed Yuno. "Okay, I-I gotta throw up now. Not-not 'cause of you guys, you're amazin', I'm just so. Fucking. DRUNK!" She walked away.

"...Well, now I'm pissed off and turned on," said Yuki.

"Same here," said Yuno.

"Angry sex?"

"Hell yeah."

"I love you so much."

"I love you, too." They kissed and went to bed. On Christmas morning, Yuno went to Aru's room and opened the door.

"Yo, pole-smoker, come get your presents-" She noticed that Tsubaki was on top of Aru, both of them completely naked and only covered by a blanket.

"Um...hi, Yuno."

"Guess I'm not as much of a pole-smoker now, huh?" said Aru, trying to remove the awkward atmosphere with humor. It failed.

"I...guess not, so, uh, this, I mean...this is a thing now?"

"We're still kinda workin' that out."

"Yeah, we're still...doing that."

"...Okay, well, good for you, good...for you. Good for both of you."

Yuki poked his head in the doorway. "So, what are you two gettin' me for my birthday on Saturday?"

"I really wish I had a plate right now," said Tsubaki.

"Same here," said Aru.


	25. The Gang's Shiny New Year

In case you're wondering exactly how this sexual encounter came to be, it all started the night before, on Christmas Eve. Minene had eventually ended up in the basement, getting drunk.

"Check the balls on Uncle Charlie, da-na-na-na-na, da-na-na-na!~"

Aru walked into the basement. He was slowly starting to sober up.

"Hey, Minene."

"Yo."

"Sorry to interrupt your song, but I need to ask you something."

"Alright, shoot."

"Well, I really like Tsubaki, maybe even as much as I like Yuki."

"And you need to advice on how to take her to Poundtown."

"That's...one way of putting it."

"Okay, so, uh, you're a virgin and Tsubaki is the opposite of that. So you're, like, probably gonna be really bad at it. See, Tsubaki is...let's just say 'experienced', and, um, she has some...let's just say 'refined tastes' because she's a...let's just say 'slut'."

"I don't think I'd be too bad at it..."

"Aru, have you even seen a naked girl before?"

"...No."

Minene sighed. "Well, since I'm feeling generous..." Minene took her top off. "Merry Christmas, kid."

Aru blushed, trying not to look. "T-thanks."

"I guess you could probably just Google what to do."

Aru walked up to the living room. He nearly stumbled over one of Karyuudo's dogs that was sleeping on the floor. "Where did he even get all of these dogs, anyway?" he asked himself as Tsubaki walked out of the hallway.

"Hey, Aru."

"Oh, uh, hi, Tsubaki. Listen-"

Tsubaki pushed Aru up against a wall and kissed him, putting one hand on his ass. "You. Me. My room. Now. Sound fun?"

"U-um, yeah, but, um, I should probably tell you that I-I've never done anything like this before-" Tsubaki interrupted him by putting a finger on his lips.

"Not a problem, cutie~ I like being the one in charge."

A week later, it was both New Year's Eve and Yuki's fifteenth birthday. His mom had baked him a cake, the gang had gotten him presents, which he loved (although he was somewhat confused by John giving him a copy of Mein Kampf), and Yuno gave him her best blowjob yet. Before midnight, the gang had all gathered in the living room to watch Rudolph's Shiny New Year. While many didn't quite understand John's interpretation of Baby New Year being a representation of Nietzsche's _Ubermensch_ (except for Karyuudo and Minene, who both agreed completely), it was still an enjoyable movie. Aru was wearing the 'Straight Outta The Closet' shirt Yuki had gotten him for Christmas. While counting down to midnight, the gang all thought of things to shout out at the end of the year:

"LOOK AT ME NOW, DAD! I HAVE AN AWESOME GIRLFRIEND, AND YOU DON'T!"

"I LOVE YUKI!~"

"I'D KILL SOME OF YOU IF I HAD THE CHANCE!"

"I AGREE WITH HIYAMA!"

"I LOVE MY FRIENDS!"

"SOME ANIMALS TURN ME ON!"

"I LOVE MY FIANCE!"

"AND I LOVE MY FIANCE!"

"YOU'RE ALL THE BEST FRIENDS I'VE EVER HAD!"

"I FUCKED YUKI'S DAD!"

"I LOVE MY DOGS, AND ALSO MY WIFE AND DAUGHTER!"

"GAS THE KIKES, RACE WAR NOW!"

"WE'RE FINALLY GOING TO HAVE AN ORANGE POWER RANGER, EVENTUALLY!"

"IT'S NOT GAY IF THEY LOOK LIKE A GIRL!"

"HAPPY FUCKIN' NEW YEAR!" shouted everyone at the same time.

"Goodbye, 2016," said Yuki. "We'll always remember your dank memes."

A week later, Yuki kicked down the door of his and Yuno's room and ran out into the living room.

"MUSIC MEISTER WILL BE IN THE SUPERGIRL CROSSOVER AND CONSTANTINE'S GETTING AN ANIMATED SECOND SEASON! _**SWEET FUCKING CHRIST!**_ If you any of you guys hear what sounds like a cat dying, that's just Yuno moaning from me fucking her as hard as humanly possible in celebration."

Note: I'll continue the bios starting next chapter!~ As always, reviews and questions are appreciated!~


	26. First World Problems

Murmur was in Deus' realm, talking on the phone.

" _Don't let it get you down, Moloch. Kek's just stronger these days. It's...okay, yeah, but...look, Moloch, it doesn't matter if his worship is ironic, it's still worship. Just let it go, dude. Oh, did anyone see Gusion today? He's been missing for a while, and I thought...alright, well, he's a smart guy, he'll probably be fine, wherever he is. Anyway...what? King Bael resigned as mayor of the mortals? Why? Oh, of course. Honestly, I don't see why he thought people would be cool with a demon running their city. Who's gonna replace him? What's an election? Well, that's fucking stupid. Why trust the people? The people are idiots, they don't know what they want. Someone should just pick for them, like we did. So they haven't decided the candidates yet?_ "

Murmur smiled. " _Oh, I have the fucking funniest idea ever. Like, you are gonna laugh your fucking ass off. No, I'm not telling you what it is, it's a surprise. Not a lot of surprises in Hell. Except for Hiyama...the first time, that is!_ " He laughed. " _Okay, so...how's Earth-1A? Still bad?_ "

He sighed. " _I swear, those freaks are getting stronger every day. Hey, I didn't know THAT was gonna happen! I didn't mean to fuck up like that! I just thought if I was gonna have an undead servant, I should, y'know, power it up a little...I mean, it was just a human kid! Even if it was a Diary Holder...y'know what I think happened? The energy that Earth-1A's Deus put in the Diaries must've caused my powers to go out of control. That same energy causes the Holders to disappear when they die. I caught that thing in the middle of its little Houdini impersonation, and...well, you know the rest. No, I don't know if they can come to our universe!_ " He paused. " _I hope they can't. Anyway...look, I'd appreciate it if you stopped interrupting me. I...wait, WHAT?! IT WENT TO ANOTHER MULTIVERSE?! WHICH ONE?!_ "

He listened to Moloch's reply, and was confused. " _Earth-YY-1? Well, what's there that they'd want? What do you mean, 'nothing'? That's strange...of course, these things are completely insane with the powers of gods, so I guess they can do whatever they feel like. Maybe it's some kind of invasion plan, like what those Death Fiber things are doing? Y'know, when you told me about them, I thought something about them felt familiar, and I just remembered what it was. One of them was in the Observer's brain. That must've caused his insanity. Anyway, back to the invasion thing. It could be that they're picking off the weakest universes first, the ones without any defenses. I...okay, I'll wait, you go take the call._ "

He sighed and started humming to himself for a few minutes. Eventually, Moloch returned. " _THERE you are! So...oh, fuck. If the Death Fibers ally with those things...well, we'll probably still be alright. It's the abominations we have to worry about, the Death Fibers are small fry compared to them. Well, for us, anyway, the other multiverses are probably fucked. Which one went there, anyway? What do you mean, 'kinda like' the First? Was it the First or not? You don't know? ITS SOUL WAS WHAT?! That...that shouldn't be possible. But I guess a lot of things are possible these days. I knew Diabolus was powerful, but...yeah, Diabolus Ex Machina. That's what the one I resurrected is calling itself. It gets PISSED when you compare it to Deus, though. It kept going on about its world's Deus 'taking their beloved away from them'. It said neither it or the one it loved would've died if it hadn't been for Deus. Then it just started ranting. It said, 'I need Yuki, I need Yuki', and it just went on and on like that for HOURS. Fucking creepy, right? Anyway, tell me when you find Gusion, I'm going down to Earth to talk to the idiots. You'll see why, just keep watching the human news. I know it's boring, just keep watching it. Later, Moloch._ "

Murmur appeared in the gang's living room in a cloud of smoke. " _Hey, mortals, I-is someone strangling a cat?_ "

"That's just Yuki and Yuno," said Minene.

" _Oh. Anyway, did you hear about Bael resigning?_ "

"Yeah, I heard," said Ai. "It's too bad, I liked him as a mayor."

" _And do you remember what he did before he resigned?_ "

"He said that, 'Anyone, regardless of age or experience, may run for mayor'. And then he passed a law to make it official."

" _That's right. And I think one of you should be mayor!_ "

"Why?" asked Marco.

" _Because that would be very, very funny to me. Anyway, who's gonna run?_ "

"...I'll do it," said Tsubaki.

"YOU?!" asked John.

"Yeah, I think it would really help get my life back on track, and I have some ideas on-"

"There's no way in Hell I'll allow you to ruin my city! I, Johnathan Bacchus, will once again run for mayor of Sakurami!"

"Fuck you, John," said Ai. "She'll be a great mayor!"

"Tsubaki," said Yomotsu, "I'll join your cause! As it is my duty to destroy evil, what better way than to help the mayor come up with new ways of dealing with them? The police are depressingly inefficient, and must have more funding!"

"I'd take offense to that if it wasn't true," said Keigo.

Name: Ai Mikami/The Seventh

Age: 24

Species: Human

Ethnicity: Japanese

Sexuality: Hetero

Alignment: Chaotic Good

Born on February 28, 1992, Ai was abandoned by her parents at the age of ten. She met the eleven year old Marco, who brought her to Kamado's orphanage. Ai is kind and very protective of the ones she loves, especially Marco, who is now her fiance. She's often annoyed by Yuki's antics. She sees a lot of herself in Yuno. She dislikes Takao. She is friends with Keigo. She occasionally wonder what it would be like to have a son like Rei. Tsubaki is her closest friend. She loves Marco more than anyone else. She sees Kamado as a surrogate mother. She has an odd friendship with Minene, where the two often compete with each other over trivial things. She hates Karyuudo. She thinks John is annoying. She thinks Yomotsu is a little strange, but is still friends with him. She is friends with Aru, but often questions his attraction to Yuki for several reasons (such as Yuki being straight and in a relationship; she also questions how ANYONE could be attracted to Yuki because of his personality). She likes Yuki's friends, the orphans, the family members, and Nishijima. She has a neutral opinion of Deus and Murmur.


	27. Yuno: Madness Returns

It had been a week since Yukiteru Amano had killed Takao Hiyama by destroying his Diary with a dart. The same day he learned he was in a Survival Game, with the goal being to murder the other participants and become God. The same day he learned he had a creepy (but admittedly attractive) stalker named Yuno Gasai. Yuno was dangerous, but she was useful. That day was insane.

But today? Today was like some kind of nightmare. An hour ago, someone had walked out of a glowing blue portal, killed the substitute teacher, and locked the classroom door with the students still inside. Who was this boy? What did he want?

And why did he look exactly like Yuki?

The boy walked around the classroom slowly. He tilted his head to one side and stared at Hinata Hino.

"Hinata," he said, with no emotion in his voice. He offered no explanation as to why, leading Yuno to believe he was saying it just to prove he knew who she was. Her suspicions were all but confirmed a few seconds later, when he walked over to Mao Nonosaka's desk.

"Mao."

He walked over to Ouja Kosaka's desk.

"Ouja."

He walked over to Aru Akise's desk, and stroked his hair gently.

"Aru~"

He walked over to Moe Wakaba's desk.

"...Moe," he said, rolling his eyes.

"He walked over to Yuno's desk. He didn't say anything for about two minutes. He just stared into her eyes. He knew these eyes. He had loved these eyes. He had been betrayed by these eyes.

" _ **WHORE!**_ "

He grabbed Yuno's hair and slammed her face into her desk, giving her a bloody nose. He hated these eyes. He slowly walked over to Yuki's desk. Yuki was absolutely terrified. He leaned in towards him.

" _Yukiiiii~_ " he said, sounding exactly like Yuno.

"What...what the fuck are you?"

The boy smiled. "A fair question. I am you. That is a fair answer, and you should be satisfied with it. Yuno would believe that to be a very fair answer." He rotated his head sideways towards Yuno. Yuki cringed as he heard a sickening "crack". "Wouldn't you, my love?"

Yuno's eyes widened in horror as she realized who the boy was. "Y...Yuki?"

"The one and..." The boy stopped talking. He also stopped moving and breathing for a few minutes. Yuki got up, planning to somehow escape by crawling out the window. As he walked past the boy, his hand grabbed Yuki's throat and threw him to the ground.

" _ **ONLY!**_ " the boy shouted in rage.

"Y-Yuno! Help me!"

Yuno just stared in complete terror. "I...I can't."

"That's right, Yukiiii, she can't. And do you know why she can't?" The boy licked the side of Yuki's face. His tongue moved slowly, but not as if he was intentionally slow. It appeared more that this was simply his tongue's maximum speed.

"BeCAUSE, she CAN't deCIDE BETWEen the BOY SHE LOVES AND A _**STUPID, STUPID COWARD!**_ " he screamed, emphasizing random syllables. "It's funny, isn't it? She has loved us both, and yet we do not love her. I despise her, and you feel a mixture of fear and apathy."

The boy jumped a few feet towards Yuno's desk, still choking Yuki. "YOU SURE KNOW HOW TO PICK 'EM, BITCH!" The boy calmly let Yuki go and walked towards the teacher's desk. "I'm gonna tell you a story, boys and girls." The boy forced an unnatural smile. "It's about Romeo and Juliet. Oh, Yuno, you'll love this."

"Yuki, please..."

"You had your time to ask for forgiveness, Second. Funny, isn't it? How so many stories start with two, but end with one? You killed your parents, and you were all alone. You have Yukkiiii, but you'll lose him too, I know you will. We had each other...and I was all alone. But now I'm two again. I'm two and one. I am you, and you are me, and we are all together. Two always ends with one. I'm living proof. Well...no, not 'living'. That's not the right word to use."

The boy paused for a few seconds until shouting:

"NOW! ON TO THE STORY! You see, Romeo and Juliet were very young, and they loved each other very much. But sadly, they decided to kill themselves. Oh, how tragic! It brings a tear to my eyes. However, Juliet was a LYING, ROTTEN WHORE AND FAKED HER DEATH!"

He paused. "I think. Truth be told, I don't think that's how it went at all...but who cares? The point is...something that I forgot. But I wanna ask you something, Yuno."

He walked up to her. "Did you even spend a few minutes crying after you murdered me? Or did you just hop over to the next timeline the second after the poison did its job?" He laughed silently. It was extremely unsettling. "Get it? Second?"

He glared at Moe across the room. "That was a joKE. LAUgh."

Moe laughed nervously. "STOP LAUGHING AT ME!" he shouted, throwing Yuno's desk at Moe's feet. She stopped.

He walked back over to the teacher's desk, and paused. He started whispering to himself silently. The whispering became louder and faster, until finally he said something loud enough for everyone to hear:

"A lobotomy."

He turned towards Yuno. "Yes. A lobotomy. That should work."

The boy's right index finger elongated. Yuno could see new bones forming under the finger's skin. He slowly walked towards her. He paused, ran towards the door, opened it, told Minene Uryu to come back later, and slammed it. He then slowly walked towards her again.

"You know, Yuno. You know why I'm doing this." He smiled and revealed his teeth, which were elongated, thin, serrated, and razor-sharp. "It's because you're craaaaazzyyy, Yuno. Stupid, crazy Yuno. Starving for stability. Locked in a cage of her own madness." He suddenly grabbed her shoulders. Yuno noticed the stitches appearing around his face and neck.

" _ **YOU'RE SO FUCKING CRAZY, YOU WON'T EVEN REMEMBER THIS NIGHTMARE!**_ "

Yuno woke up screaming. Yuki jumped out of bed, landing on his face. He quickly got back up.

"Who's there?! I have a horse vibrator and I'm not afraid to use it!"

"It's okay, Yuki. I just had a bad dream."

"Again? That's the fifth time this week."

"I know. I'm sorry for waking you up again."

"It's okay, baby. Do you remember anything about this one?"

"Just bits and pieces. I don't get it. Doesn't it usually take a few more minutes for people to forget their dreams?"

"Yeah...look, Yuno. I need to ask you something, and I need to be honest with me: are you alright? The same dream five nights in a row, and not even being able to remember most of it...that's not normal." Yuki paused. "Are you taking your meds?"

"Yes, I'm taking them!"

"Alright, just...just calm down. I'm sorry, baby, I didn't mean to upset you." He hugged her tightly. "Yuno, answer my question. Are you alright?"

Yuno started to cry. "No. No, I'm not alright. I'm stressed out over nothing, I'm scared out of my mind, and my head's spinning. I...I think I'm losing my mind."


	28. NTR Is Just The Worst Fetish Ever

The next morning, Yuki was sitting on the living room couch. Aru walked in and sat next to him. Minene was on the other side of the couch.

"You look terrible, Yuki."

"I didn't get a lot of sleep last night. I was worried sick about Yuno."

"Because of the nightmares?"

"Yeah. She thinks her...condition's getting worse. I drove her to her therapy session-"

"So you stole the Twelfthmobile again?"

"No, Yomotsu let me drive it. Even if I steal his car at least once a week, we're still friends. Anyway, I drove her, I visited her parents' graves and pissed on them like I do every time I drive her, and I told her father's corpse that she calls me 'daddy' too."

"A classic line."

"It's a good one, I know." He sighed. "Yuno's pretty upset over all of this."

"Well, maybe it's a sign. You know, 'Don't stick your dick in crazy', and all that. Maybe you need to start seeing other people. Just a suggestion."

"...Aru, can I talk to you in private?" asked Minene.

"Oh, sure."

They both went down to the basement.

"I swear to the asshole God that brought us all together, if I find out that Tsubaki's been fuckin' with Yuno's meds, I will personally beat her to death," muttered Yuki.

Down in the basement, Minene closed the door.

"So, Minene, what-"

Minene turned around and punched him in the face.

"What the FUCK is wrong with you?!"

"What's wrong with me?! You're the one that just assaulted me out of nowhere!"

"Look, I know you're not even a year old, so you might not understand concepts like 'basic human empathy', but it's generally considered a dick move to hit on someone in a committed relationship. Especially if they're worried about their girlfriend's mental health."

"I'm just worried about Yuki. If Yuno's going crazy, he might be in danger. You remember what I did when I was insane."

"How could I forget?" she asked, pointing to the slight burn marks around her eyepatch. "And I have two things to say to that. One, just because Yuno's not well doesn't mean that she's a fucking psychopath. She's sick, not evil. She's not like Takao."

"You know, my room is directly over the basement, I can hear everything you're saying."

"Shut up, Takao. And two, we both know that's COMPLETE BULLSHIT. You're not worried about him, you just want him for yourself!"

"That's not true!"

"Aru, have you even considered Yuki's feelings? He's straight, he-and I really can't stress this enough-HAS A GIRLFRIEND, and he loves her more than anything else. He will NEVER love you. And what, in the name of the asshole God that created you, is attractive to you about him? His drinking problem? Him being arrested once? His general unpleasantness? His complete lack of masculine features-"

"I CAN HEAR YOU FROM UP HERE!"

"Shut up, Yuki. Anyway, Aru, do you like him because of who he is, or what he looks like?"

"I...well..."

"That's what I thought. Look, Aru, you're usually a great guy and a good friend, but when it comes to Yuki, you get kinda blind about the important things. And what about Tsubaki?"

"What about her?"

"She's all alone, stressed out by this election bullshit, has depression, has an eating disorder, is addicted to nearly every drug known to man, and isn't getting help for any of it. Seriously, Ai does not shut up about it. It gets kinda annoying, even if she does have a point."

"I can hear you from-"

"BITCH, I WILL FUCKING STAB YOU! Anyway, have you thought about how she feels? She really likes you. You make her happy."

"Why should her feelings dictate what I do with my life?"

"Normally, I'd agree with you. But do you know why I'm not agreeing with you now? Because I know that deep down, you feel the same way about her."

Aru sighed. "Dammit. You're right."

He walked back upstairs.

"Hey, Yuki. How should I tell Tsubaki how I feel about her?"

"Well, I guess you should just be honest. Also, if you ever talk about Yuno like that again, I will throw you into a fucking wood chipper."

Later that day, Yuki picked up Yuno from her therapy session and drove her home. When they got home, Yuki went to bed almost immediately, leaving Aru and Yuno.

"So, how was the therapy?"

"Well, Dr. Inumuta thinks that in addition to my Borderline Personality Disorder, I might also have some kind of Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder and schizophrenia."

"Christ. That's awful."

"Yeah, it sucks. He thinks it could explain my nightmares, but he's not completely sure. He told me to keep using my normal dosage of medication for now, and to tell him if they get worse."

"Well, at least you're getting some help for it. Look, Yuno, I'm sorry about flirting with Yuki all the time. It's a shitty thing to do, and it won't happen again. I've been a complete asshole to you, just because I was jealous."

"It's okay, Aru. I accept your apology."

"Thanks."

"And if you ever hit on my Yuki again, I will cut your fucking head off."

"...That's fair."

In her room, Tsubaki was watching TV.

"I swear, I will never understand what JoJo's Bizarre Adventure is about. Fun to watch, though."

Aru knocked on her door.

"Come in."

He opened the door and walked in.

"Hey, Tsubaki, I wanted to ask you something."

"What is it?"

"Well, um, I was wondering if..." Aru blushed. "Well, if you wanted to...I dunno, see a movie sometime?"

Tsubaki smiled. "I'd love that."

Note: Yay for character development and shipping!~ And the readers of my Kill La Kill fic probably noticed the name of Yuno's therapist; and yes, it does mean something~ Also, if you're wondering about Yuno's nightmare last chapter, it will be explained eventually; it's related to what Murmur did in the First World, and the 'Yuki' that appeared in it is the same one that was introduced in my Kill La Kill fic~


	29. A Nightmare In Sakurami City

"Hello again, Yuno."

Yuno found herself in the living room of her house. Next to her was the cage where her she had accidentally killed her parents by starving them to death. Their bodies were still there. She...

Wait. No. No, that's not right at all. She had shot her parents, deliberately.

"I said hello."

She looked up and saw the other Yuki sitting on a chair across from her.

"Fuck you."

"Now, that's not a very nice way to talk to your boyfriend, is it?"

"You're not my boyfriend. You're not even real!"

"Oh?"

"You're just part of these fucking nightmares!"

"Am I, now?"

"You are. Just a figment of my imagination."

"Did you know Kamado's orphanage is getting an extra room?"

"...What?"

"Did you know?"

"I...no. No, I didn't."

"Now, if I'm just a part of your imagination, I should know what you know, correct?"

"I-I guess..."

"But if I know something you don't..."

"YOU'RE NOT REAL! You've been putting fake memories in my head and then removing them every time I dream of you!"

"If I'm not real, how could I do that?"

"You know what I mean."

"They're real memories, Yuno. They're just not yours."

"Then whose are they?"

"They're the memories of my Yuno Gasai, from my universe."

"What?"

"I'm from Earth-1A, Yuno. You're from Earth-2. We're both from the MN multiverse. You see, there is an entire omniverse of multiverses. I'm what you'd call an 'omniversal threat'. That means I could potentially fuck up the whole omniverse if I wanted."

"Are there any more universes in our multiverse?"

"Well, my Yuno traveled to Earth-1B, now called Heaven-1C. Then there's Earth-1C, which is a very nice place. There was an Earth-1D, but that little accident corrected itself. Murmur's a fucking idiot."

"Well, that, I agree with."

"There's also an Earth-3, which has fourteen Diary Owners, and there's Earth-4, where Deus is like an artificial intelligence or something. I dunno, I never really looked into it. I'm not even this multiverse right now, I'm on Earth-YY-1. I'm broadcasting this telepathically. You see, humans are at their weakest when they're asleep and dreaming. I like to wander around their minds sometimes."

"So, you're not human?"

"It's...complicated. After I died and your Murmur revived me-"

"What?!"

"Yeah, he can kinda raise the dead. Well, not by himself. All he can do is talk to the dead. But you see, my universe was contaminated by my Yuno's divine energy. This made it easy to resurrect me, the other Diary Holders, a few others, and Diabolus."

"Who's Diabolus?"

"They are who I work for. Diabolus Ex Machina is even stronger than I am. I'm just their second-in-command. Now, they're human. Or at least, they were."

"If you're Yuki, how can you not be human?"

"I told you, it's complicated. You know, Yuno, I love you humans. You're so violent and depraved. You'll believe anything, you taste amazing, and you're always good for a quick fuck."

"Humans suck!" shouted out a voice from another room. It sounded like a mixture of David Bowie and Bill Cipher.

"Who's that?"

"Oh, that's just the Song And Dance Man. He's another omniversal threat. He's also an annoying dipshit. I believe one of his coworkers, Traum, met your Aru before."

"How many omniversal threats are there?"

"Oh, there are so many of them! There's Diabolus, the Master Of Puppets, Iru, Azathoth, Satan, Tezcatlipoca, Uranus, Typhon, Nyarlathotep, Set, Apophis, Loviatar, the Wakan Sica, Loki, Jormungandr, Fenrir, Surtr, Over-Man...the list goes on. Anyway, I gotta go now. Have fun with the election. Oh, and Yuno..."

The false Yuki leaned in towards her. She could see the stitches on his neck, which weren't there earlier.

"I don't like my old name that much. Call me Ganger."

Yuno woke up. She remembered nothing.


	30. Kasugano's Model

Yuno knocked on Tsubaki's door. She was wearing her standard white T-shirt and green shorts.

"Come in."

She opened it and closed it behind her. Tsubaki was wearing her new purple robe, her red bow, and her glasses. Her robe covered up her tattoo of a green Japanese dragon that was crawling up her back.

"Hey, um, Tsubaki?"

"What is it, Yuno?"

"I know you're probably busy with the election and everything..."

"Oh, that's not for a while. And I must thank you and Yuki for your support."

"Well, um, you're welcome. Who else has said they'll support you?"

"Well, there's you two, Yomotsu, Ai and Marco, Kamado, Keigo, and of course, Aru."

"That's nice to hear. Listen, Tsubaki, I need your help. You know about my dreams, right?"

"Yeah."

"Well, lately, I can't help but feel there's something...darker about them. But the problem is, I don't know what exactly's dark about them, because I can never remember everything about them. Do you think there might be something...I dunno...occult about it?"

"It could be possible. I know some methods of analyzing dreams. But they're kinda...weird. Like, really fucking weird. And, uhm, it might be kinda dangerous."

"I'll try anything at this point."

"Then let's do it. By the way, did you hear about Kamado's orphanage getting an extra room?"

"No, I don't think I did."

"Alright, first we'll have to go down to the basement. Like, really far down."

Later, the two girls were in the darkest, deepest, and coldest part of the basement. There was a large opening in the wall, resembling a tunnel. A large, old wooden box was laying on its side on the stone floor.

"Sit down on the box, turned away from the tunnel."

Yuno followed Tsubaki's instructions.

"First, I'll explain some of the meaning behind all of this. You see, there's this cult called the Church Of Starry Wisdom. It's very small, but still potentially dangerous."

"Okay."

"Now, the Church, uhm, well, they believe in this world of dreams, the Dreamlands. It's been suppressed by reality, and the Church wants to restore it."

"Alright."

"You see, uhm, in remote or buried places, like this basement, without anyone around...well, uhm, the idea is that different things can happen. Different things can...y'know, exist," awkwardly explained Tsubaki, who was wondering how the fuck she was gonna explain the following events to Yuno. That is, assuming Yuno was still was conscious, relatively sane, and/or alive.

"Got it."

"Okay, like, uhm...I'll try to keep explaining this the best I can...by coming down here, we've sort of entered a hypnotic dream state. Reality and the Dreamlands have, uhm...merged, I guess you could say. But only for a little while."

"Understood."

"Now, I'll be going into the tunnels and bringing a part of the Dreamlands...uhm, back with me, I guess. You stay here, and, uhm, please don't look around. It's better that way."

"Okay, you do whatever you have to do."

Tsubaki walked into the tunnel. When she returned, she was holding the hand of...something. The creature had to be at least eleven and a half feet tall. It resembled an unholy mockery of both dog and man, much like a werewolf. The face, perhaps one of its worst features, was deformed just enough to be recognized as canine in appearance, yet human in shape. Arguably, one could make a comparison between its face and the face of someone who had been choked to death, perhaps by being hung from a noose. It had large, pointed ears. Its skin, having once been pale in its youth, was now a sickening darkish green, with an unpleasant rubbery appearance. Its nose was flat, and its glowing white eyes were bloodshot. Its hands and feet had a sharp, scaly claw on each finger and toe. However, its feet also partially resembled hooves. The lips were human-like and drooling. Its body was covered in small patches of mold in various, seemingly random spots. Its hair, or perhaps more accurately, fur, followed a similar pattern, making the creature mostly hairless, but just hairy enough (mostly on its limbs) to remind one of the werewolf again. Most of its forehead was hairless, with the hair on its head being mostly in the back. Its teeth were sharp, perfectly designed for ripping flesh.

It was also somehow circumcised, with a flaccid, human-like penis of about six inches, but that's not important right now.

Tsubaki and the beast sat down on a row of stone connected to the tunnel's entrance, across from Yuno's back.

"There. That's, uhm, that's good. You sit there..."

" _LIKE THIS, YES? SIT LIKE_ _ **THIS.**_ "

Yuno felt like she was about to throw up merely from listening to the abomination that she had still not yet seen.

"Yuno, this is, uhm, this is King George. He's from Boston. You can, uhm, you can ask him anything. King George, this is, uhm, this is Yuno. Yuno's here to talk to you, and that's all."

" _YES. I LIKE YUNO. YUNO HAS PRETTY HAIR. IT IS PINK ONES I LIKE_ _ **SECOND-BEST.**_ _RED IS THE BEST._ "

Yuno felt a primal fear enter her mind.

"Uh...I, uh, I mean..." began Yuno, "Wh...wh-what are you?"

"King George? Yuno wants to, uhm, to know what..."

" _I KNOW. I KNOW WHAT YUNO WANTS. YUNO, WE ARE_ _ **BOYS**_ _. WE ARE BOYS WHO WORK DOWNSTAIRS, YES? I AM A_ _ **GOOD**_ _BOY. I AM A GOOD BOY, WHO WORKS HARD. DO_ _ **YOU**_ _WORK HARD, YUNO?_ "

"W-well, I...yes. Yes, I do," she said, thinking of her attempts to improve her mental health. "I work hard. K-King George, wh-where...where do you come from?"

" _FROM BETWEEN MOTHER'S_ _ **LEGS**_ _, YES? YES. THAT IS FUNNY. BUT TO_ _ **NOT**_ _BE FUNNY, WE ARE DOWNSTAIRS FROM WORLD, UPSTAIRS FROM DREAM. WE ARE HALFWAY IN MIDDLE._ "

"I-I see," said Yuno, desperately trying to gain some confidence in the face of this unknown monstrosity. "And how many...how many boys like you are there?"

" _OH, MANY. MANY GOOD BOYS. MORE THAN FIVE. THIS IS UNDER BOSTON AND JAPAN ONLY, YES? IN WHOLE WORLD, IS MANY, MANY MORE. IS AS MANY AS...AS MORE THAN_ _ **FIVE**_ _! BUT IN BOSTON, WE ARE HAPPY. ARE YOU_ _ **HAPPY**_ _IN JAPAN, YUNO?_ "

"I...no. No, I-I don't think I'd be happy anywhere right now."

"Yuno's had some, uhm, some bad things happen. Remember when I told you about the thing with her parents? And now, something's been going wrong with her dreams. Like with that Robert Blake fellow in Manchester almost a century ago that I heard about, he, uhm, he was the one who met the little Waite girl...remember?"

" _OH. OH, YES. THE OLD MAN WHO IS ANOTHER OLD MAN WHO IS A GIRL WHO IS OTHER PEOPLE, YES? POOR ROBERT. POOR YUNO._ "

Yuno's fear grew by the minute.

" _YUNO, IT IS BAD THAT YOU ARE NOT HAPPY. THESE ONES WHO HURT YOU, THEY ARE_ _ **YANKEES**_ _, YES? THEY HAVE MANY THINGS, AND THEY DO NOT WORK HARD. THEY DO NOT WORK HARD LIKE US, YUNO, AND ALWAYS WE ARE_ _ **BENEATH**_ _THEM. BUT_ _ **ONE**_ _DAY, WE EAT THEIR BODIES. YOU MUST_ _ **SMILE**_ _, YUNO._ "

"Y-yes. Yes, thank you. I will. H-how much do you know about what goes on up above, in Japan, and in Boston, and in the rest of America and the world?"

"Well, uhm, King George has been there a long time."

" _OH, YES. LONG TIME. MISTER REVERE IN HIS STOCKINGS, PLUMP LITTLE LEGS. OH, YES. EVERYTHING HAPPEN IN BOSTON, WE KNOW WHAT IT IS._ "

"S-so you keep up with current events...?"

" _WE DO BEST WE CAN. THERE IS THE NO-POLICEMAN FIGHTING, YES?_ " he said, referring to the recent Black Lives Matter protests. " _ABOVE, THEY SAY MORE THAN FIVE ARE MADE DEAD. WE KNOW OF MORE THAN THIS, YES? SOME DEAD THEY ARE NOT_ _ **FIND**_ _. THIS IS HAPPY TIME, BUT NOT MORE GOOD THAN_ _ **SWEET**_ _TIME._ "

"Sweet time? What's...?"

"King George, is, uhm, is talking about the molasses explosion in, uhm, in 1919..."

" _OH,_ _ **YES**_ _! YES, AFTER COLD FESTIVAL, WE ARE SO HAPPY WE DO NOT_ _ **BELIEVE**_ _! MANY, THEY ARE DEAD. SOME THE FACE THEY DO NOT KNOW, WHERE IT IS COVERED IN SWEETNESS. EVERYWHERE THERE IS_ _ **CANDY**_ _..._ "

"Then you...you really eat dead people? I-isn't that cannibalism?"

" _NO. NO, YUNO, YOU ARE WRONG. IF I EAT MY BROTHER GEORGE_ _ **WASHINGTON**_ _, THAT IS_ _ **BAD**_ _. EATING_ _ **UPSTAIRS**_ _DEAD, THAT IS_ _ **WORK**_ _. AND ALSO, WE DO NOT SEE THAT YOU ARE_ _ **USE**_ _THEM FOR ANYTHING. WE SAY 'UPSTAIRS PEOPLE DO NOT MIND'._ "

"B-but, I mean, if they knew about you..." Yuno felt like she was going to scream and run at any second. "Wh-why do you trust Tsubaki not to reveal you? Why are you trusting me?"

" _YOU ARE GOOD GIRLS. TSUBAKI, SHE IS TO US LIKE OUR FAMILY, YES? AND YOU, YUNO, YOU DO YOUR WORK, AND THEN YOU ARE GONE,_ " he said, referring to the possibility of her committing suicide. Tsubaki talked with him often, and mentioned her suicidal tendencies due to her depression. " _OUR WORRY IS_ _ **FOR**_ _YOU._ "

"F-for me? So...so is this my unconscious, voicing buried anxieties?" asked Yuno, desperately hoping for reassurance that none of this was real.

"Yes, it's, uhm...King George?" Tsubaki looked up at him. King George was standing. "Where, uhm, where are you going? I thought we'd, uhm, we'd agreed..."

" _NO. NO, TSUBAKI. YOU ARE NOT BOSS. YOU ARE ONLY_ _ **LITTLE**_ _GIRL. I LIKE TO TALK TO YUNO. AND I LIKE TO SMELL HER._ "

"Y-you...you really don't need to...I-I mean..." Yuno felt like she was going to have a heart attack.

"Yuno, it's, uhm, it's alright. Just, uhm, just sit still..." said Tsubaki quietly, as her eyes widened in horror behind her glasses. Ghouls were usually non-violent scavengers, but in extreme cases, such as the Pickman incident, they had been known to attack humans.

" _YES, YES. IT IS ONLY FOR SMELLING AND TALKING. IT IS NOT FOR WORK. YUNO, I MUST TELL YOU THAT IN ROT IS A GREAT_ _ **COMFORT**_ _, YES? WITH ROT IS ALL THE_ _ **WORLD**_ _MADE..._ "

"Ohh. Ohhh..." This was the closest Yuno had felt she had ever been to death.

" _IT IS ONLY_ _ **NOTHING**_ _DO NOT ROT. MEAT ROT. WOOD ROT. STONE ROT. IN BOSTON AND AMERICA AND ALL OF WORLD IS_ _ **ROT**_ _. DOWN HERE, THE ROT WE_ _ **EAT**_ _. AND UP ABOVE US, YUNO, YOU HAVE PEOPLE WHO ARE WORK FOR NEWSPAPER, MAKE STORIES OF_ _ **BAD**_ _PEOPLE, YES? ABOVE, THE ROT_ _ **YOU**_ _EAT._ "

Yuno whimpered and started to cry.

" _YUNO, LISTEN. WHEN IN CEMETERIES YOU ARE SAD, REMEMBER TO US THEY ARE FARMS, YES? THEY ARE_ _ **ORCHARDS**_ _. EVERYBODY HAS THE LIFE WITH PURPOSE, YUNO. NOBODY IS GO TO WASTE. THE ONES ALONE AND WITHOUT LOVE, AT LAST THEY ARE_ _ **ENJOYED**_ _. YUNO, YOU ARE GOOD GIRL. IN THE ROT, BE_ _ **HAPPY**_ _, YES?_ "

"Yes. Yes, I will. I'll be happy." Tears were flowing down her face.

" _GOOD. GOOD GIRL. NOW WE ARE HAPPY_ _ **ALL**_ _OF US. TSUBAKI, I AM GO NOW DOWN FOR TELL OF YUNO TO MY BROTHER MARY_ _ **PICKFORD**_ _. I HAVE EYEBURN WITH THIS LAMP,_ " he said, talking about the single lightbulb in the ceiling. He turned away from Yuno. " _GIVE ME YOUR HAND BACK TO MY OWN GOOD DIRT, YES?_ "

Yuno wiped the tears from her eyes.

"Uhm, yes. Yes, of course. Yuno, I'll, uhm, I'll be back in just a moment. Please stay where, uhm, where you are. The, uhm, the entrance is a step in front of you, King George..."

" _YES. YES, FEEL DRAFT. SO, TSUBAKI, TELL ME NOW. IS YUNO SISTER OF_ _ **OTHER**_ _PINK AND WHITE ONE?_ "

Tsubaki muttered something in an indecipherable language as she led King George back into the tunnel. She came back out shortly after.

"There. It's, uhm, it's very cold down here, isn't it? Shall we, uhm, shall we go back upstairs?"

Note: So that, um...happened~ In case you're wondering, this whole chapter is a reference/parody/homage/blatant rip-off to Alan Moore's Providence #7~ Reviews and questions are appreciated~

Name: Kamado Ueshita/The Eighth

Age: 40

Species: Human

Ethnicity: Japanese

Sexuality: Hetero

Alignment: Neutral Good

Born on May 14, 1976, Kamado runs the Mother's Village Orphanage, and is probably the nicest Diary Holder. She was raised in a family of nurses and doctors, and always wanted to help people. Despite loving children, she is unable to have any of her own. Her biggest flaw is trusting people too much, often being too much of an optimist. She views Yuki, Yuno, Rei, Tsubaki (despite her idealism clashing with Tsubaki's cynicism), Marco, Ai, Aru, Hinata, Mao, Moe, Ouja, Yoi, Orin, Taro, and the orphans are surrogate children. She is friends with Keigo, Minene (despite clashing with her for the same reasons as with Tsubaki), Yomotsu, Rea, Naoko, and Maken. She dislikes Takao, Karyuudo, and Murmur, but is too nice to admit it, and would still help them if they needed it. She is attracted to John, but would never admit it. She is grateful that Deus has given her the chance to help people.


	31. Dream-Quest Of Unknown Kasugano

Back in Tsubaki's room, Yuno was slowly processing what just happened.

"So, uhm, anyway, Yuno, now that you've stopped screaming and throwing up...is there anything you'd like to ask me?"

"What...in the name of FUCK...was that thing?!"

"Well, King George is a Ghoul. HP Lovecraft wrote about them in some of his stories."

"But wasn't he a fiction writer?"

"Fiction, reality...not much difference, honestly. Once you give something a face and a name, well, who knows what could happen? I mean, how do we know we're not just words on a page? And if someone's reading us, how do they know they're not just a product of someone else's imagination? And if someone's reading them...well, you get the idea."

"Damn. So, how did you meet King George?"

"I was twelve years old. I had managed to escape the cult for a little while and ended up in the temple basement. Bastards had the nerve to call themselves the 'Neo-Omekatans'. They turned a perfectly good religion, MY PARENTS' RELIGION, into something...twisted. Anyway, I was in the basement, and I found a tunnel, like the one in our basement. I ran in and got lost. I found myself in the Dreamlands, where I saw...something. It looked like a rat, but with tentacles on its snout. I learned later it was called a zoog. It jumped at me, and I thought I was gonna die. King George found me and killed it. He led me back to the basement, and that's how I became interested in the occult. Soon after I moved in here, I went down to the basement and looked for a tunnel, and I found King George again."

"That's such a nice story. You found your friend after two years by yourself, going through unimaginable-"

"He was the first thing I had consensual sex with."

"...What?"

"Well, I figured I'd finally had a chance at controlling my own sexuality, and I wanted to thank him for saving my life. I was a little disappointed that he didn't have a knot, like in some porn I watched online, but he was still REALLY big. And so strong! It felt like he could tear me apart at any minute, but that just made it hotter~ Normally, I'm the dominant one, but he was just so masculine."

"He's a human-eating monster from another dimension."

"He gave me the second orgasm I've ever had. And the third. And the fourth, and the fifth. My first orgasm was a few hours after I killed all the Neo-Omekatans. I had just settled into my room, and I read on the Internet that orgasms were apparently a lot of fun, so I masturbated for the very first time, and...don't look at me like that."

"Like what?"

"That mixture of disgust and arousal. Stop looking at me like that."

Yuno continued to look at her like that.

"Yeah, Yuno, I'm a degenerate. Also, the sky is blue. And you fucked Yuki literally hours after you met him. You have no right to judge me."

"That's...really not the same thing."

"And I resent you calling him a monster. Ghouls have their own religion and society! They're just as civilized as-"

"Okay, okay, I'm sorry. Christ. Anyway, since meeting King George didn't help, do you have any other ideas?"

"Well...there is the Carter Method."

"Let's do it."

"Alright, you sit down, I'll get some opium."

Tsubaki got the opium ready.

"This method is purely cerebral. Eyes closed, we imagine ourselves atop an enormous staircase..."

"Well, I guess that's easy enough. So this is the Carter Method?"

"Oh, there's much more than this to successful dreaming. Rigorously keeping dream-journals, for instance, trains us to remember more of our dreams. The seven hundred steps are just a way of lucid dreaming, where we're fully conscious despite being asleep. We descend the steps into dream. Count them to keep your attention focused."

"Yes. Yes, I see what you mean. It's quite an effort to visualize the steps without getting distracted. Fifteen, sixteen..."

"Like anything, it gets easier with practice. It helps to engage the senses. Be aware of the stairway's cave-like acoustics, its subtle odor of wet stone, and the uneven texture of rough-hewn treads beneath our feet. Thirty, thirty-one..."

"This is weird...I can see underground layers of rock and dirt. And the staircase is changing shape..."

"That happens when we get near places where ideas are less fixed. There are different levels to sleeping. We're now in the hypnagogic state, which is...weird. One hundred and forty-nine. One hundred and fifty..."

"Y-yes, and then the weird shit starts talking to you. Is this whole thing underground? One hundred and sixty. One hundred and sixty-one..."

King George poked his head out of a hole in the whole. His eyes were glowing read, and the lighting made his skin look grey.

"HELLO. HELLO, YUNO. I AM HAPPY TO SMELL YOU."

Below them, another hole in the wall was on fire. A balding old man with a goatee, wearing white robes, was burning inside of it.

"Tsubaki, you fucking whore! DON'T PRETEND YOU CAN'T HEAR US!"

"Ignore them. One hundred and seventy-three, one hundred and seventy-four..."

"Nnn...now...now all the colors...getting brighter. Five hundred forty-seven. Five hundred forty-eight..."

"It's...it's an indi...indication we're almost there. Five hundred and fifty-three. Five hundred and fifty-four..."

"This is amazing. Everything feels so real. Six hundred and ninety-six. Six hundred and ninety-seven..."

"It's like reality, just more flexible. Six hundred and ninety-nine, seven hundred, there. Now, let's explore the closer reaches of Hypnos' realm."

They walked into a hallway. The floor tiles looked like tiles on a chess board. A black cat walked beside them. Up ahead, two men were sitting at a table. One was in a blue uniform, while the other was in a business suit.

"This is so vivid," said Yuno.

"These are only the Upper Dreamlands. It's where memories are stored. Well, distorted versions of them, anyway. In front of us in Brigadier General Albert Pike, along with a member of the Church I mentioned, Whipple Phillips. The Church believes that the Dreamlands physically existed in ancient times, and can be reborn in the future."

"Sir," said Brigadier General Pike, "with my KGC to perpetuate our mutual values, it is my fondest wish for that proud land to rise again."

"I take it, sir," replied Whipple, "that you are referring to your beloved South?"

A group of Klansmen appeared behind Pike.

"No, sir. I most assuredly am not."

The girls and the cat walked away from them, and through a door that led outside.

"I-I don't understand," said Yuno. "Did that really happen?"

"Who knows? It could've been symbolic for all we know. By the way, the cat is Nigger Man. Yes, that's his actual name."

"Reminds me of John and Aru's movie. How are things with Aru, by the way?"

"Oh, he's amazing! He's so nice. And picking up guys, and the occasional girl, is fun, too. You have no idea how many people are closet bisexuals. Three-ways every night, can you imagine?"

"I can do more than imagine it, I can hear it from my room."

"Well, tough shit. Anyway, keep your concentration, we're heading into the outskirts of the Dreamlands."

They found themselves in a field of grass. They were surrounded by abandoned railway cars."

"As to how these things represent incest, I have no idea," said Tsubaki. "Though, surely, Professor Freud would say otherwise."

"It's so amazing how clear and stable it all is. It's a coherent country, with its own consistent geography, its own plant-life, its own...oh, oh, FUCK ME RUNNING WHAT IS THAT."

Behind them, tending to the cars, was a man in a railway conductor's uniform. He had a long, flesh-colored tentacle where there should have been a face.

"T-Tsubaki, d-did you see, back there? There was some...some kind of..."

"Yes, I noticed. Things like that live here. That's why it's so disturbing that the Church wants this place to come back to our world."

"Is that a graveyard up ahead?"

"Oh, yes. There are some more Ghouls here."

They walked into the cemetery, where two Ghouls with red eyes were raiding graves for food.

"There eyes glow red in the dark. I think it helps them find food somehow. Anyway, Yuno, these two guys are George Washington and Mary Pickford. They're friends of King George...Yuno?"

Yuno had ran up ahead.

"Oh, for fuck's sake. Hey, wait up!"

Tsubaki caught up to her.

"Don't fucking wander off like that!"

"Sorry, I just...I couldn't be around those..."

"Racist. Anyway, there's a tower over there. The Ghouls use it to as a stairway between here and our world, much like ours. It reaches up to the sky...well, not exactly 'sky'. Those twinkles up there could be stars or stalactites."

"But there's a moon up there. How can a moon be underground?"

"Don't ask questions you don't wanna know the answer to, Yuno. I've learned that the hard way."

A large group of white cats crawled out of some nearby bushes. They formed a wave of fur, pushing the girls towards the moon.

"Uh. Tsubaki."

"Don't worry. These cats are my friends."

The girls were grabbed by a swarm of black, faceless humanoids with bat-like wings, inward-facing horns, rubbery skin, hands where their feet should have been, and long barbed tails. Tsubaki was holding Nigger Man in her arms. Yuno screamed.

"These guys are more acquaintances. Don't worry, Yuno. The nightgaunts don't wanna hurt us."

"OH MY GOD! OH MY FUCKING GOD! WHY DO I LISTEN TO YOU?! WHY?!"

"Hey, you're the one who wanted to explore her dreams."

"T-Tsubaki, they're...they're tickling me!"

"Yeah, they do that. It can be weirdly sexual. I don't even think it's intentional. Sometimes when I encounter the nightgaunts, I wake up feeling really horny."

Yuno stifled an involuntary moan. "I-I see what you mean. I-I'm not really sure how to feel about this."

"It's okay, just stay calm. If you freak out too much, they'll..."

The nightgaunts released their hold on the girls.

"...drop us. Goddammit, Yuno."

"WE'RE FALLING UP! WE'RE FALLING INTO THE FUCKING SKY, TSUBAKI!"

"Oh, fuck! We can't go up there! That's where the outer entities live!"

Ganger materialized beside Yuno. He grabbed her, and whispered into her ear:

" _Mur_ **mur.** "

His breath smelled like blood and copper. He vanished as quickly as he appeared.

"TSUBAKI! TSUBAKI!"

"Remember, this is just a dream! All we have to do is open our..."

The two girls, along with Nigger Man, were back in Tsubaki's room.

"...eyes."

"Oh, thank God. It's over."

"And we have a new cat."

"Tsubaki, I saw something. It-it looked like Yuki, but it wasn't him! It said something about Murmur."

"Then it looks like your dreams are more than the product of your mental illness. I'll summon Murmur tomorrow, and we'll get some answers. As for now, I'll introduce our new friend to everyone." Tsubaki, Yuno, and Nigger Man walked out of the room and into the living room, where everyone except for Yuki, Aru, and Rei, who were hanging out with Ouja again, were watching TV.

"Everyone, this is our new cat,"said Tsubaki. "Karyuudo, keep your worthless mouth shut. His name is Nigger Man."

"I like him already", said John.

Yuki, Aru, and Rei walked in through the front door.

"I swear to Christ, Aru-"

"Dude, I'm not trying to fuck your mom! You're seeing shit that's just not there."

"A kitty!"

"Yuki, we got a cat!~" said Yuno.

"That's cool."

"His name is Nigger Man."

"That's amazing. So how did your dream-quest go?"

"I'm slightly traumatized, and I was touched in certain places by an eldritch monster, and I kinda sorta liked it."

"...Was he bigger than me?"


	32. Not An Update, Just The Rest Of The Bios

Name: Minene Uryu/The Ninth

Age: 26

Species: Human

Ethnicity: Japanese (some Israeli ancestry on her mother's side)

Sexuality: Hetero

Alignment: Chaotic Evil-Chaotic Neutral

Born on July 11, 1990, Minene was orphaned at the age of eight. She is very cynical, and considers herself an antitheist. She believes religion to be dangerous, and wishes to destroy it, seeing herself as someone who does bad things for the greater good. She deeply regrets that innocents have been killed in her bombings (her current death toll is estimated to be somewhere around one hundred), but considers their deaths to be necessary. While she is outwardly hostile and rude, she is kind towards small children and animals. She is anti-Semitic, a (strangely) right-wing conspiracy theorist, and browses /pol/ (on 8chan, because 4chan /pol/ is "cucked beyond belief by Jewish Liberal shills", in her words). She suffers from PTSD, and can be somewhat socially awkward at times. She is unaware that she's part-Israeli. She considers Yuki to be a close friend (although she'd never admit it). She considers Yuno to be a close friend. She dislikes Takao, as he tried to kill her. She considers Keigo to be an idiot for believing in the Judicial system, often pointing out that if it worked correctly, she, Takao, Karyuudo, and probably a few other Diary Holders would either be in prison, in an asylum, or executed. Like most of the other Diary Holders, she considers Rei to be like a surrogate son, and cares for him deeply. She considers Tsubaki to be a friend. She is friends with Marco and has a friendly rivalry with Ai. She is friends with Kamado, despite often clashing with her optimistic nature. She is friends with Karyuudo, and believes him to be a better person than he lets on. She is close friends with John, and shares much of the same political views with him. She dislikes Yomotsu, but respects that he works outside the law. She is friends with Aru, but can be annoyed by his more selfish actions (and for him destroying her eye; she still has some slight burn marks around her eye socket). She refuses to admit it, but she is attracted to Nishijima. She likes Yuki's friends, the family members, and the orphans. She hates Deus and Murmur.

Name: Karyuudo Tsukishima/The Tenth

Age: 46

Species: Human

Ethnicity: Japanese

Sexuality: Hetero

Alignment: Neutral Evil-Chaotic Neutral

Born on December 9, 1970, Karyuudo was born to a very poor family. He made his fortune through selling weapons and drugs to anyone willing to buy them. Eventually, after marrying Inu Hino, the half-Japanese daughter of a white American baseball player, he founded the Sakurami City Dog Kennels, adopting any unwanted dogs. He is a capitalist, believing that a man should make his money any way he can, even if it's illegal. He loves his dogs more than his two friends (Minene and John; everyone else despises him), his wife (who he has a somewhat strained relationship with), his daughter (who he neglects), and even himself. Despite this, he truly does care for them in his own way. He can be rather introverted and occasionally somewhat misanthropic. He can be highly selfish and uncaring, has very poor social skills, and often makes himself appear more cultured than he really is. He is despised by most of the Diary Holders, and feels the same towards them. He has a neutral opinion towards Yuki and Hinata's friends, the family members, the orphans, Deus, and Murmur.

Name: Johnathan Bacchus/The Eleventh

Age: 56

Species: Human

Ethnicity: Italian (some German ancestry on his mother's side)

Sexuality: Hetero

Alignment: Lawful Evil-True Neutral

Born on April 30, 1960, in Rome, Italy, John's father was one of Mussolini's favorite generals during World War II. He grew up fascinated by both the Axis Powers and Hitler's obsession with the occult. He is incredibly racist, homophobic, sexist, and ableist, but still tolerates the mixed race, bisexual, female, and mentally ill/visually impaired Diary Holders. He is very intelligent, and can be highly manipulative. He loves Sakurami City more than anything else, and is very loyal to it. He dislikes Yuki, considering him to be a rude, vulgar idiot (Yuki's response to him saying this is always, "I'm not fuckin' vulgar!"). He believes Yuno and Takao are dangerous, and can be used well in the right hands. He considers Keigo to be an annoying optimist. He likes Rei, and considers him an intellectual equal. He considers Tsubaki to be a degenerate. He considers Marco and Ai to be idiots, although he does slightly respect Marco for being part-Italian. He is attracted to Kamado. He is friends with Minene and Karyuudo. He thinks Yomotsu is an idiot. Oddly enough, he does get along with Aru, with the two often jokingly trading insults.

Name: Yomotsu Hirasaka/The Twelfth

Age: 30

Species: Human

Ethnicity: Japanese (with some British ancestry on both sides)

Sexuality: Hetero

Alignment: Lawful Neutral-Chaotic Good

Born on April 27, 1980, Yomotsu was born completely blind. He had few friends growing up, and often kept to himself. He became interested in both tokusatsu TV shows and Braille comic books. He grew up to become a failed vigilante, although he is starting to succeed more than when he started out. He believes that the Judicial system is flawed, occasionally pointing out that parole can be easily abused by criminals. He believes strongly in capital punishment, and has killed six criminals. While initially believing morality to be purely black and white, his friendship with the Diary Holders has led him to reconsider. He is friends with Yuki and Yuno, but he is annoyed by Yuki's habit of stealing his car. He has an odd friend/enemy relationship with Takao. He often argues with Keigo about the law. He is friends with Rei and Tsubaki, and secretly hates himself for not realizing that a rape cult was only a short distance from his house. He is friends with Marco, Ai, and Kamado. He has a friend/enemy relationship with Minene. He dislikes Karyuudo and John. He is friends with Aru. He feels neutral towards Yuki's friends, the family members, and the orphans. He hates Deus for allowing evil to exist, and hates Murmur for being a dick. He loves his wife, Maken.

Name: Aru Akise/The Observer

Age: 4 Months

Species: Artificial Human

Ethnicity: Japanese

Sexuality: Bi

Alignment: Lawful Neutral-Lawful Good

Created on November 11, 2016, Aru is one of the nicer Diary Holders. However, he can be quite selfish at times, due to a subconscious belief that he's superior to humans. He deeply regrets the things he did under the Death Fiber's influence. While the brain damage done by the Fiber was undone, the psychological damage remains, meaning that a small fraction of the Observer still exists in Aru's mind. While the Observer believed humans were sinful and needed to be destroyed, Aru is more of an optimist. However, his experiences with the Diary Holders are starting to make him doubt his beliefs. He was attracted to Yuki, but has moved on. He was initially jealous of Yuno, but is now her friend. He dislikes Takao. He is friends with Keigo and considers Rei to be a close friend. He loves Tsubaki, and is incredibly frustrated by his inability to help with her addiction and depression, believing that if a superior being like him can't help her, nobody can. He is friends with Marco, Ai, Kamado, and Minene. He dislikes Karyuudo, but is too nice to admit it. He is friends with John, Yomotsu, Yuki's friends, the family members, and the orphans. He questions some of Deus' actions, and dislikes Murmur.

Name: Deus Ex Machina/YHVH/Yahweh/Jehovah/Elohim/Sabaoth/God

Age: 13, 820, 000, 000 (13.82 Billion Years)

Species: Judeo-Christian God

Ethnicity: Judeo-Christian God

Sexuality: Asexual

Alignment: Lawful Neutral-True Neutral

Deus was born on January 1, 13, 819, 997, 983 BC. He was created from the energies of the Big Bang, along with the monster Rahab. After killing Rahab, Deus molded the universe into his preferred shape. Eventually, he created life, designing what each species would evolve into. Deus views time differently than mortals; to him, billions of years could seem like a week. After Lucifer's rebellion, he banished him and his soldiers (including Murmur) to Hell, where they mutated into demons. At one point, he created the Shedim demons; they were intended to be able to coexist with humans, being created from the DNA of snakes, Lucifer, Adam, and Lilith, but he got bored and decided to rest on the Seventh Day (actually around 197, 983 BC) instead. While he had the personality of the Old Testament God originally, he is now largely unconcerned with humanity, angels, or demons, preferring to stay in his own pocket dimension. Jesus was a social experiment that got out of hand. He is reaching the end of his lifespan, and his powers are slowly fading. After learning of Murmur being responsible for the creation of creatures like Ganger, he enslaved him so he could work off his sins. Occasionally, parts of him fall off and grow into separate creatures, which then repeat the process; this is how the gods of other pantheons (Zeus, Kek, Azathoth, etc.) were created. He is intrigued by the Diary Holders, believing them to be worthy successors, especially Yuki.

Name: Matthias/Murmur

Age: 4, 600, 000, 000 (4.6 Billion Years)

Species: Judeo-Christian Demon

Ethnicity: Palestinian (or at least he/she/it appears to be)

Sexuality: Asexual

Alignment: Lawful Neutral-Chaotic Evil

Like all other angels, Matthias was created on January 1, 4, 599, 997, 983 BC, on the First Day, before Earth was created. Originally a Malakh (the lowest rank of angel), he quickly rose to become a high-ranking Throne, something he enjoys taunting his former superior, the archangel Michael, about. However, he was recruited by the misanthropic Seraph Lucifer into becoming part of his rebellion. After the Fall, he was mutated into a demon, and was assigned the rank of Earl in Hell's complex, occasionally contradictory hierarchy, and was eventually promoted to Great Duke. After the incident on Earth-1A, he was enslaved by Deus, and forced into a weaker form. He is very prideful, manipulative, and sadistic, believing all humans to be inferior beings. He enjoys toying with the Diary Holders, such as when he informed Keigo of his son's heart disease so he'd owe him. However, a small part of does regret his actions during the Rebellion.

Name: Yukiteru Amano (?)/The First (Earth-1A)/Ganger

Age: 15 (?)

Species: Judeo-Christian Demonic Magically-Enhanced Human (?)

Ethnicity: Japanese (?)

Sexuality: Bi

Alignment: True Neutral-Chaotic Neutral (?)-Chaotic Evil

Ganger's origins are clouded in mystery. He claims to be the First World Yuki, resurrected by Murmur, but this might not be true. What is known, however, is that Murmur was somehow involved in his creation, and he was created after Diabolus Ex Machina, who he serves as his second-in-command. Ganger is primarily defined by his pure hatred of Yuno for manipulating him into suicide (supposedly). Ganger represents the worst of humanity, with his crimes including, but certainly not limited to, mass murder, infanticide, cannibalism, rape, and necrophilia. He is intrigued by humans, especially the Diary Holders, for being capable of extreme violence. He is disturbingly attracted to Aru.


	33. The Gang Summons A Demon

The gang was in the basement, sitting on a wooden box. This was the same box where Yuno had her talk with King George. Tsubaki was near the tunnel, with a knife in her hand.

"This is gonna hurt." She sighed. "Not two days goes by when I stop cutting, and now I actually have to do it," she muttered under her breath.

She cut her left wrist horizontally, and dripped the blood onto the stone floor in the shape of an "X". More of her blood fell onto the floor, this time in a long horizontal line through the "X", with an outward facing crescent moon on each side. Starting in the middle of the "X", she began to create a long, downward line, which she turned into inverted cross. When she was finished, she drew another inverted cross on the other side of the "X", except this one was unconnected to the rest of the gruesome drawing. She drew a "U" through the top of the inverted cross, turning it into a trident, completing her bloody work of art.

Tsubaki reached into her pocket and pulled out a white cloth. She wrapped it around her wrist to stop the bleeding. She took out a salt shaker from a pocket inside her robe, and sprinkled a circle of it around the bloody symbol. She put it back in her robe and took out a Tarot card, the Ten Of Wands. She placed it in the middle of the symbol.

"Okay, now I'm gonna need some parsley."

"Right here," said Yuki as he took out some parsley from his pants pocket and gave it to her.

"Do you just carry parsley around with you all the time?" asked Takao.

"Yeah."

"...Okay, then."

Tsubaki placed the parsley on top of the card.

"Alright, I probably should've told you guys this earlier, but we're gonna need some gold."

"Where the hell are we going to get gold?" asked Karyuudo, who had a gold tooth. Everyone looked at him. "Well, surely, you don't expect me to give you my damn tooth!"

"Karyuudo, it's for Yuno."

"Fuck Yuno, I'm not giving you my tooth-" He was interrupted by Yuki punching him in the mouth, knocking his tooth out.

"Here you go."

"Thanks, Yuki," said Tsubaki as she took the tooth out of his hand and put it on top of the parsley. "Now I'm gonna need eight dark blue candles."

"I have some," said Kamado as she produced them from a bag she was carrying. "They're blueberry-scented."

"Just what we need to lighten up this Satanic ritual." Tsubaki placed the candles around the circle, one in each of the eight directions. She pulled a lighter out from her robe and lit both the candles and the parsley.

"I CALL UPON THE FIFTY-FOURTH SPIRIT, WHO IS CALLED MURMUR, OR MURMUS, OR MURMUX!" she shouted. "HE WHO IS A GREAT DUKE, AND AN EARL, AND APPEARETH IN THE FORM OF A WARRIOR RIDING UPON A GRYPHON, WITH A DUCAL CROWN UPON HIS HEAD! THERE DO GO BEFORE HIM THOSE HIS MINISTERS, WITH GREAT TRUMPETS SOUNDING! HE WHOSE OFFICE IS TO TEACH PHILOSOPHY PERFECTLY, AND TO CONSTRAIN SOULS DECEASED TO COME BEFORE THE EXORCIST TO ANSWER THOSE QUESTIONS WHICH HE MAY WISH TO PUT TO THEM, IF DESIRED!"

The flames started to grow.

"HE WHO WAS PARTLY OF THE ORDER OF THRONES, AND PARTLY THAT OF ANGELS! HE WHO NOW RULETH THIRTY LEGIONS OF SPIRITS!"

The flames grew larger.

"Tsubaki, something's happening!" said Yuno.

"AND HIS SEAL IS THIS!"

The flames shot upwards to the ceiling, creating an intense heat throughout the room.

"TSUBAKI!"

" _ **GREAT DUKE MURMUR, REVEAL THYSELF! IN THE NAME OF THE LORD THY GOD, I COMMAND YOU!**_ "

Fire filled the room, incinerating the box. It shot up the stairs and into the tunnel, filling the house. Oddly enough, perhaps due to being Diary Holders and an artificial human, the gang was untouched, although very hot and uncomfortable. The HOLON IV, which was at the other side of the room, was also unharmed due to Murmur having built it. The house and their possessions were also unharmed, as it and everything inside of it (except for the old box that nobody owned, which Yuki had found in a dumpster one day, and was going to be used for Christmas decorations, but ultimately wasn't) was protected by Deus.

A cloud of vultures erupted from the symbol, which had now dried up. The parsley had been vaporized, while the candles and tooth had melted. To an outsider, it would have seemed as if the hundreds, if not thousands of vultures had simply disappeared. But the gang saw every detail of their deaths. The vultures were in slow motion, screeching as loud as they could in agony. Their black feathers slowly burned away. Their scorched flesh emitted smoke until it was completely incinerated. Their blood, saliva, and all other fluids boiled and evaporated. Their bones turned black and disintegrated. The fire had changed color, from red and orange to violet and white.

While nothing in the house except for the box was destroyed, that's not to say the inferno didn't affect it. The doors were forced off of their hinges; the front and back doors were pushed into the ground. The windows had flown out of the windowpanes and were flying through the air like Frisbees, followed by the doorknobs, hinges, and the gang's possessions. For years to come, scientists would debate the authenticity of a picture of a horse vibrator speeding through the air at Mach 10. The upstairs walls had been pushed into the ground. The roof was currently orbiting the Earth and approaching a NASA satellite. Nigger Man and Karyuudo's dogs were unharmed, but both very confused and very annoyed. In the Dreamlands, the cats, Ghouls, Nightgaunts, and other creatures barely noticed the slight rise in heat.

However, nothing was technically damaged, just misplaced.

In the basement, the melted candles had fused to the stone floor, merging with the circle of salt, which had also melted. The gang was floating through the raging inferno, unable to hear their own screams of terror. While this had been, a dark shadow had been slowly materializing within the salt circle. It was horrific, and nearly indescribable. The gang caught only brief flashes of the monster's features; a massive, outstretched wing here, a gigantic arm there. Eventually, the shadow shrank into the familiar shape of Murmur. The fire disappeared and the gang fell on the floor. Tsubaki passed out and was thrown against the wall.

" _Fuck. I haven't had a summoning that intense since Lil Wayne!_ "

Tsubaki woke up and groaned. "Ugh. Is the asshole here?"

"Yeah," said Aru. "You did it, babe. Are you okay?"

"I'm fine. It's just that channeling both holy and unholy magic kinda took a lot out of me."

" _You guys are lucky that Deus protects this place. This circle was fifteen million degrees Kelvin! That's as hot as the Sun's core!_ " Murmur laughed. " _So what have you dumbfucks called me here for?_ "

"We wanna ask you about Yuno's dreams. They're being haunted by a creature that looks like Yuki, has memory-erasing powers, and is somehow connected to you."

" _Well...I might have resurrected the dead Diary Holders of an alternate universe._ "

"You can resurrect the dead?"

"Not here. Here, I can only talk to them. The universe I went to, Earth-1A, was flooded with divine energy. That caused my powers to go out of control. I went their to test my abilities, and maybe get an undead slave out of it. When a Diary Holder dies, their body disintegrates into a portal to the afterlife. I caught one when it was about to disappear, and...well, things got out of hand. It calls itself Diabolus Ex Machina, the 'Devil From The Machine'."

"'It'?"

" _Well, by the time I got there, this thing had been decaying for some time. The divine energy might have caused it to stay in that Earth's version of Deus' pocket dimension instead of disappearing. I guess it just took some time for it to disintegrate. Anyway, Diabolus was barely recognizable as a human. That universe's Deus, Satan, angels, and demons had all reached the end of their lifespan and died. Diabolus and I were the strongest things in the universe._

 _I was feeling all proud of myself, until Diabolus started talking. It just kept going on and on about how it hated Deus and that it needed Yuki. Creeped the shit out of me. It revived the Diary Holders and Aru and took over the world. My magic gave them superhuman abilities. Then it threw me out! After everything I did for it! And to top it all of, Deus enslaved me!_

 _The only ones it didn't revive were Yuno and Yuki. Yuno had died on Earth-1C, and her soul never reached the afterlife. I don't know where it is. I thought that Diabolus might have been Yuki, but the existence of the creature you're describing seems to disprove that. But since Diabolus never revived Yuki, I have no idea where it might have come from._

 _According to Moloch, another demon I hang out with sometimes, your creature is somewhere on Earth-YY-1, far away from here. It could be projecting its mind into Yuno's dreams, while its body is on Earth-YY-1. That's all I know._ "

"Well, that doesn't tell us anything useful."

" _Now send me back to Deus' pocket dimension._ "

"After you fix the house."

Murmur sighed. " _Fine._ " He snapped his fingers and the house was fixed. All of the gang's possessions were back in their rightful places. " _Can I go now?_ "

"GREAT DUKE MURMUR, I CAST YOU OUT OF THIS MORTAL PLANE!"

Murmur disappeared. The only evidence he was ever there was his red symbol on the floor, a dark blue and white circle that smelled of blueberries and tasted like hot, salty wax, a golden card that Tsubaki placed in a pocket in her robe, and the ashes of thousands of vultures, spread out in piles around the room.

Yuno sighed. "So all of this was for nothing. I'm going to bed." She got up and walked upstairs. The rest of the gang followed her until only Yuki and Aru were left.

"Are you alright, Yuki?"

"Aru, my girlfriend, the love of my life who I'd do anything to protect, is being tortured by something that looks just like me, I just learned I can't do anything about it, and I've just pissed myself for the first time since Christmas Eve. No. I'm not alright. I feel like I'm gonna cry and hit someone at the same time." He sighed. "I've never felt more scared, weak, and hopeless in my entire life."

Yuki walked upstairs. Aru turned off the basement light and followed him.


	34. The Lovers, The Dreamers, And Me

"A doppelgänger or doppelga(e)nger (/ˈdɒpəlˌɡɛŋə/ or /-ˌɡæŋə/; German: [ˈdɔpəlˌɡɛŋɐ], literally "double-goer") is a look-alike or double of a living person, sometimes portrayed as a paranormal phenomenon, and is usually seen as a harbinger of bad luck. In other traditions and stories, they recognize one's 'double-goer' as an evil twin. Doppelgänger is a German word.

The word 'doppelgänger' is often used in a more general sense to describe any person who physically or behaviorally resembles another person." _ Wikipedia's article on Doppelgangers.

Yuno was in her bed. She looked to her left. Yuki was sleeping next to her. She looked to her right. A small nightstand with two drawers was beside their bed, illuminated by a lamp. She opened the top drawer. Yuno reached inside and pulled out her gun. It had been a few months since Yuki had given it to her.

She remembered everything about that day. The love she felt towards this boy she only barely knew at the time. The feeling of being loved by him. The fear in his eyes when he had given her the gun. She remembered how the fear turned to pure rage when he saw her father. Her father was also angry, but his was nothing compared to Yuki's.

She remembered how uncertain her father seemed when Yuki left and he came back in the house. Yuno could only speculate that he was internally debating whether or not to call the police. She was amazed by Yuki. It had only been a few hours ago when he revealed his insecurities to her, and now he was courageous enough to try to protect her.

Yuno sighed. She also remembered the things about that day she'd rather forget, like when her mother pushed her into the cage and locked it. Yuno had screamed and cried for hours. She was so hungry. She wasn't even let out to go to the bathroom.

She remembered being let out of the cage by her father. Not out of any sort of parental love, of course. He had simply grown tired of hearing her cries for help. Yuno had gone to her room, and then sneaked out behind their backs. She ran to Yuki's house, where she told him what had happened. Yuno saw something in Yuki's eyes greater than rage-hatred. She talked to his mother for a bit while he went outside. She was such a nice woman. Yuno was surprised at how kind she was. Rea Amano was completely different than Saika Gasai. Much to her surprise, Kurou Amano later turned out to be as awful as Ushio Gasai.

Yuno never knew her birth parents. She still had a little piece of her umbilical cord in a box in the other drawer, the only thing she had to remember them by. She wondered what they were like, if they had any other children, and if they were even still alive. Her thoughts wandered back to that night.

She had gotten a text from Deus saying that Yuki was going to kill her parents. It was the first time she used her Diary. She ran to her house and stopped him, only to shoot her parents herself. They were so scared of the two young lovers. Scared of punishment for their crimes.

She looked at the gun. She had thought this gun would have been the one to kill them, but she was wrong. Yuki had gotten her gun from Hinata, who got it from Karyuudo, who got it from some drug dealer. The dealer had given his kids to Kamado's orphanage, the same one where Yuno was adopted from, where he met Orin, Taro, Ai, and Marco. He had once robbed a bank owned by John, which was next to one Yuno's parents used to own. Yomotsu attempted to stop him, but failed. He stumbled onto one of Takao's murders. This was the only time he had a witness (besides Murmur). The dealer managed to briefly hide from Takao by running into Mao's house. He ran into several houses to avoid Takao, including Ouja's, Moe's, and Rei's. He ran past the Omekata Temple; by that time, Takao had given up the chase, reasoning that since he wore a mask, he was in no danger of being caught. The dealer then ran into Keigo and Nishijima. He was almost arrested, but the two cops were distracted by a church that just been blown up by Minene. The dealer fled back to his house and continued his criminal ways, until he was finally killed by the Observer during his rampage. Before his death, the dealer had prayed, which only angered the Observer even more; he believed that the dealer was not worthy of being saved, and he turned out to be right, as Murmur dragged his soul to Hell.

Yuno had been told of the dealer's story by Murmur a few weeks ago, during one of his random visits. She thought about how the gang was connected before it even existed. She thought about the gun again. She put it to her head. Maybe it would kill someone after all.

Yuno paused. She sighed. No. She couldn't do that to Yuki. She put the gun back in the drawer and closed. She cried herself to sleep.

In the room next to her, Aru was having a nightmare. He was in a dark room, sitting in a chair. Next to him was a radio, playing music:

"He's observing the chaos, taking in the lack of raw humanity

It's as if the entire world's fallen in love with their insanity!

Hear the innocent voices scream  
As their tormentors laugh through all of it  
No forgiveness from all I've seen  
The degradation I cannot forget

So sleep soundly in your beds tonight

For judgement falls upon you at first light!"

Ganger materialized in front of him.

"Hello, Aru~"

"You must be the thing that Yuno's been dreaming about."

"That's right. I'm Ganger."

"Why do you look like Yuki? Murmur said that he was never revived in that alternate universe."

"Oh, trust me. He was. But...not completely. Bringing back a body is easy. The soul...is a bit harder. This is what I looked like originally."

"What do you like now?"

Ganger smirked. "Your human mind wouldn't be able to handle it."

"But I'm not-"

"No, you're not. But you're close enough. Humans, being the unfortunately weak things they are, can't handle my true self. A pity, really. I quite like them."

"I'M NOT WEAK!"

"Ah, there we go. Always the egotist. You think yourself above humanity, even the ones you love. Still, you are weak. Mentally, anyway." Ganger smiled, revealing his sharp, needle-like teeth. "And we both know what I'm talking about."

"That wasn't my fault! I-I was insane! I was being controlled by that monster!"

"Yes, Traum. I know of him. I was just talking with his superior, the Song And Dance Man. A very strange guy, and rather annoying. He's too proud, in my opinion. He thinks himself as being so superior to humans, when the irony is...well, I can't quite tell you." Ganger laughed. "That would spoil the surprise for those who don't already know!" Ganger stopped laughing and simply looked down at Aru. "The Song And Dance Man reminds me of you, Aru. You're both bisexual, arrogant assholes. Of course...I'd be a hypocrite if I didn't include myself in that category."

Aru was surprised. "You mean you...?"

"Oh, yes. After I was revived, I found myself a bit more...open-minded, let's say. As long it feels good, why I should care what I do? You and your little girlfriend think the same way-"

"YOU LEAVE HER OUT OF THIS!"

"You're adorable when you're angry~" Ganger stroked Aru's cheek lovingly. Aru blushed. "You know, whatever else I might be, I still look like the object of your affection." Ganger leaned down and kissed Aru passionately. He stood up straight and smiled down at him. "Did you enjoy that?"

"W-well, I...yes."

"Do you know why you lusted after Yuki for so long, Aru?" Ganger laughed again. "It's because you're a selfish little brat."

"What?!"

"You think that because you're superior to humanity, their feelings don't matter. Never once did you consider how Yuki might have felt about you, or how your advances would affect Yuno and Tsubaki. You hated Yuno because she was dating Yuki, so you couldn't have your own way. Just because you have powers doesn't mean they exclude you from human morality. But I think there's another side to all this."

"And what's that?"

"You feel superior because you feel inferior."

"That doesn't make any sense."

"You keep trying to make things stand out about yourself. Your inhumanity, your bisexuality, you keep bringing it up to those around you. I think you're trying to make yourself interesting, because, let's face it, you're rather boring in terms of personality. You're one of the good guys in a house of criminals and lunatics. That's it. You're basically just a glorified babysitter, there's nothing important about you. You don't even have a Diary." Ganger paused. "Well, not yet, anyway. You also feel powerless with Tsubaki."

"I told you to-"

"Let me finish. She's hopelessly addicted to several things, and you can't do anything about it. You're not supposed to feel like that. Humans are supposed to be powerless, not you." He began absentmindedly humming Rainbow Connection. "Well, I think that's all I wanted to say to you. Now, I'll go meet the others."

Ganger disappeared, leaving Aru with the music:

"I'm the hand of God!

I'm the dark messiah!  
I'm the vengeful one!  
Look inside and see what you're becoming!  
In the blackest moment of a dying world  
What have you become?  
Look inside and see what you're becoming!"

Note: Next chapter will hopefully be the end of the Ganger storyline!"


	35. Bring Me A Dream: Part 1

"I can't stand to fly

I'm not that naive  
I'm just out to find  
The better part of me

I'm more than a bird, I'm more than a plane  
I'm more than some pretty face beside a train  
And it's not easy to be me"

Yomotsu found himself in the Dark Room. Of course, he couldn't tell the difference. Everywhere was dark to him. A radio was playing music next to him. He heard something walk in front of him. Only then did he smell it. A nauseating stench of blood and copper filled the room.

"Hello, Yomotsu."

The voice sounded like Yuki's, but Yomotsu sensed something off about it. However, he couldn't quite describe exactly what it was.

"So you're Yuno's monster, I presume?"

"That's right. Ganger, not in the flesh. My flesh is somewhere else. Let's begin, blind man."

"Begin what?"

"Just a little talk. Now, you're blind...and yet, you still see. Your other four senses create an imperfect, but still somewhat accurate, mental picture of the world around you. Tell me, Yomotsu...what do I look like?"

"You look nothing like Yuki."

"Oh? That's rather surprising."

"Your skin, it's...it's all wrong. There's a body under it, like there should be, but it's not connected to the skin. It's like you're wearing a suit made of human skin."

"And what else?"

"The body...it's humanoid, but..."

"But?"

"It's hideous."

"Thank you. What else?"

"The body...I can hear blood moving around it, but it's so slow. And the body sounds hollow."

"What do you hear in my body?"

"Buzzing. It-it's deafening. Flies. You have flies inside of you. Millions of them. You're filled to the top with flies."

"That's right. One more thing to learn about me, can you see what it is?" Ganger asked, smiling at the word "see".

"...Crackling. I hear electricity. It's faint, but it's there. In your head."

"Ding ding ding, we have a winner! You've mapped out my anatomy, congratulations!" Ganger laughed silently. He looked like he was about to vomit. "Anyway, now that we're done with me, let's talk about you."

"Me?"

"Who else could I be talking about? We're the only two people here, dumbass. Now, you claim to be noble. To be a man who just wants to be a hero."

"That's right. I do nothing for myself. I only do the right thing."

"Including murder?"

"If necessary."

"Hmm. You know, the others think you're insane, like Yuno. But you're not like her at all. I think you're completely sane."

"You must forgive me if I don't find that particularly reassuring."

"Well, aren't we grumpy tonight? Anyway, as I was saying, I think you're sane. You're just a cynic. You don't WANT to do the right thing, you HAVE to do the right thing, because the Judicial system sure as hell won't. If it worked right, then Tsubaki wouldn't have been raped, Rei wouldn't have been neglected, Yuno and Yuki wouldn't have been abused, and...well, you get the point."

"Thanks for stating the obvious."

"But I can't help but wonder something."

"And what's that?"

"You used to live near the temple, right?"

"Your point?"

"And to go into Sakurami City, you'd have to follow the road beside the temple."

"What's your point, Ganger?" Yomotsu was becoming increasingly angry.

"How many times have you walked by that temple? You have these gifts, these amazing senses...but I guess they just soundproofed it too well, didn't they?"

"You son of a bitch."

"I can only imagine how that feels. Being so close to that temple...and yet, you could never hear a little girl's cries for help. And now, Tsubaki Kasugano suffers from depression, an eating disorder, and addictions to every substance you can think of. And you know, in your heart, that it's all your fault. Just one more person you couldn't save. You've been doing this whole vigilante thing for a few years now. Tell me, during all of those hundreds of days, those hundreds of times you went out at night...how many people have you saved? How many people have died because you weren't a good enough hero?"

"I'll fucking kill you."

"You can't, you idiot. This is a dream. Anyway, my point is that you are utterly and completely impotent as a vigilante. You've killed a few criminals. So what? More are born every single day. It's the way things are, the way they've always been, and the way they always will be. Face it, Yomotsu: you can't win the war on crime. Do yourself a favor and just give up. Now, I'm going to go talk to John."

Ganger disappeared, leaving Yomotsu with the music:

"I'm only a man in a silly red sheet

Digging for kryptonite on this one way street  
Only a man in a funny red sheet  
Looking for special things inside of me  
Inside of me  
Inside me  
Inside me  
Inside of me"

John was in the Dark Room. He was alone, or at least he thought he was. The radio next to him was playing music, which he recognized The Who:

"No one knows what it's like

To be the bad man  
To be the sad man  
Behind blue eyes

No one knows what it's like  
To be hated  
To be fated  
To telling only lies"

Ganger appeared in front of him. "Good song, isn't it?"

"A classic. I take it you're Yuno's nightmare creature?"

"That's correct. I'm Ganger. I thought a good way to hurt Yuno would be to invade the dreams of her friends. However, I'm just in your dreams for the fun of it. I mean, you have, what is it, three friends? You've never been good with people, have you?"

"No. People are idiots."

"But they're fascinating idiots, aren't they? My point is that you're an old man, but you have so few friends. Tell me, during your long life, what have you done that's noteworthy?"

"I became mayor of this city, and I will be mayor again."

"There are hundreds of mayors in the world. What makes you special?"

Before John could respond, Ganger laughed in his face coldly.

"Nothing, that's what. Tell me, John. What did you want to be when you were a child?"

"A soldier."

"Like your father?"

"How did you-"

"I'm in your head, John. I can see your memories. The irony of all of this is that if you just became a soldier, at least someone would remember you if you had died in battle. But now? Countries will fall. Leaders will be born. Wars will be won. And John Bacchus will just be a name on a Wikipedia page, if you're lucky. Not even Kamado will remember you. And do you know why?"

Ganger paused. He sighed. "Because bad guys don't get happy endings. I'm unliving proof of that."

Ganger vanished.

"But my dreams

They aren't as empty  
As my conscience seems to be

I have hours, only lonely  
My love is vengeance  
That's never free"


	36. Bring Me A Dream: Part 2

"Y'all gon' make me lose my mind!

Up in here, up in here!  
Y'all gon' make me go all out!  
Up in here, up in here!  
Y'all gon' make me act a FOOL!  
Up in here, up in here!  
Y'all gon' make me lose my cool!  
Up in here, up in here!"

Karyuudo was in the Dark Room. You know where the music's coming from. Ganger materialized in front of him.

"The name's Ganger. I'm the guy who's been giving Yuno nightmares. But you don't care about that, do you? You care about nothing but your dogs and yourself."

"Yeah, I'm an asshole. Tell me something I don't know."

"Oh, that's not what I'm getting at, Karyuudo. Rather, I'm going to talk to you about the opposite. The truth is that you're not really as much of an asshole as you let on. You've never been good with people. Dogs are better, aren't they? Dogs don't tell you they love you before they hurt you. You have just the sneaking suspicion that your wife's cheating on you. You don't even know if Hinata's yours. Perhaps that's another reason you neglect her so much?"

Ganger leaned in towards him.

"She's not cheating. Hinata's your daughter. All that shit is just what you tell yourself to justify your treatment of them. And because of your treatment towards Hinata, the others HATE you. Do you understand me, Karyuudo? They mostly tolerate the neo-Nazi and the serial killer. Hell, most of them even LIKE the guy who almost destroyed the world, the girl who killed her parents in cold blood, and even the fucking TERRORIST, who's killed more people than everyone else in the house COMBINED! But you? You're the only one who most of them openly despise. You pretend you don't care, but it eats away at you, doesn't it?" Ganger smiled. "You've always been alone in your life. You fell in love and got married so you wouldn't be alone. But you won't let yourself love your own family. And because of that, everyone hates you. And now you're more alone than ever. Just a sad, rich man and his dogs. It's a self-made Hell, really."

"You listen here, you disgusting monstrosity, I love my wife and daughter!"

Ganger laughed. "I know you do. And that's why, after I'm done playing with the others, I'm going to pay them a little visit." He disappeared.

"Off the chain, I leave niggas soft in the brain

'Cause niggas still want the fame, off the name  
First of all, you ain't rapped long enough  
To be fuckin' with me and you, you ain't strong enough  
So whatever it is you puffin' on that got you thinkin' that you Superman  
I got the Kryptonite, should I smack him with my dick and the mic?  
Y'all niggas is characters, not even good actors  
What's gon' be the outcome? Hmm, let's add up all the factors  
You wack, you're twisted, your girl's a ho  
You're broke, the kid ain't yours, and errybody know  
Your old man say you stupid, you be like, 'So?  
I love my baby mother, I never let her go!'  
I'm tired of weak ass niggas whinin' over puss  
That don't belong to them, fuck is wrong with them?  
They fuck it up for real niggas like my mans and them  
Who get it on on the strength of the hands with them, MAN!"

Minene sat upright. Like the others, she was in the Dark Room, with music playing:

"Hip hop hooligan, I never went back to school again

When I figured how to use the pen

On the path of revenge, on the loose again

Rollin' 20 deep with my Ghost Town bully clan

Who I am? You may call me the Boogeyman

And if ya ass is fat, we can do a dance

Teddy Killerz steady kill it in the mix

Wicked with the lyric shit, you know I never miss

I ran into a million dumb people in the biz

They said I rap too evil, but now I'm gettin' rich

I don't give a shit, though, kick it like a schizo

Another horrorcore banger for your disco

You think you're in the clouds, I will take you higher

Sound like a got a throat full of razor wire

It's time to get dough, It's time to explode

How the rest goes, you can ask Dope."

"Like the song?"

Minene jumped up and turned around. Ganger was standing right behind her.

"I like it. Electro-swing's my favorite genre, though."

"What do you want?"

"Just a little chat. Don't worry, you're in no danger. Yet."

"Why should I believe you?"

"I don't care if you believe me. Now, on to the main subject. Minene, you've done horrible things, and yet you haven't been executed. You're not even under house arrest anymore. Why?"

"Nishijima thinks I can be rehabilitated."

"Can you?"

"...I don't know."

"Imagine that. A man willing to put innocent people at risk, all for a simple crush. It's hilarious, really." Ganger laughed his grotesque, silent laugh. He looked like he was choking on something and trying to cough it up.

"I won't kill any more people."

"And why should I believe you? You've already killed over a hundred people who were just going about their day. Men. Women." Ganger leaned in towards her and smiled, revealing his monstrous teeth. "Children."

"I wish things could've turned out differently. But my actions were for the greater good!"

"Were they?"

"They were! Religion is toxic! It..." Minene paused.

"It what?" Ganger's smile grew wider. "Come on, you're a clever girl, I know you've realized it by now. Spit it out. You can do it."

"...It...kills people..." Minene said quietly.

"Like you kill people?"

"THAT WAS DIFFERENT!"

"Are you listening to yourself? You're delusional, you really are. Who are you trying to convince, Minene? Me...or yourself?"

Minene said nothing.

"You what's funny, Minene? Religious extremists, who you hate and claim to fight against, kill innocent people and blow up buildings because others don't share their beliefs. And your response is to kill innocent people and blow up buildings because others don't share your beliefs. Minene Uryu, you are the absolute worst of humanity: a murderous, destructive, bitter, angry, hateful, self-loathing **hypocrite.** " Ganger stroked her hair gently. "And that's why I like you, Minene. You're just like me."

Ganger vanished.

"What up is?

I got some rough shit for you suckas

Fuck the police, never talk rubbish

Butterfly knives, comin' for your stomach

The GOAT nigga runnin', the dope nigga runnin'

I want five hundred motherfuckin' million

It's that or your children, blow up the building

Now hands to the ceiling and bitch we ain't kiddin', nah

The way we livin', there's no fucks to be given, nah

Puff loud even better than Cheech

Then I preach like a motherfuckin' Cherokee Chief

I got reach from the streets to the Pelican Beach

We got beats that'll breach through you pussy-ass creeps

So what's good, nigga?

Test me, I wish you would, nigga

Dope D.O.D., you misunderstood, nigga

So cut the crap, 'cause I'm colder than Cola

Better than Hova

Who?

Master Xploder."


	37. Bring Me A Dream: Part 3

"In every job that must be done

There is an element of fun  
You find the fun and snap!  
The job's a game

And every task you undertake  
Becomes a piece of cake  
A lark! A spree! It's very clear to see that..."

Kamado was in the Dark Room. Ganger walked in from somewhere she couldn't see.

"Hello, Kamado. I'm Ganger. You know, I really am tired of having to introduce myself to you people."

"Why are you attacking Yuno?"

"Oh, I haven't attacked her. Not physically."

"You know what I mean."

Ganger laughed snidely. "Alright. Fine. I'll tell you." He smiled. "Revenge."

"What did she ever do to you?"

"Oh, her? Nothing. Nothing at all. But my Yuno betrayed." Ganger smile faded. "She murdered me. After all I did for her, she KILLED ME! **I LOVED HER!** " Ganger paused to calm himself down. "But my Yuno is dead. She killed herself for another Yuki Amano. She didn't kill him. She..."

Ganger stopped. "She..." He started breathing heavily, like an animal hunting its prey. " **SHE CHEATED ON ME!** _**SHE KILLED ME AND THEN SHE FUCKED THAT GODDAMN FAGGOT!**_ _ **THAT SLUT! I DON'T DESERVE THAT!**_ " Ganger screamed. He growled. "We were supposed to die together."

He calmed himself down again. "But this isn't about me. This is..." He raised his hands briefly, and then put them back down, as if he was unsure of what to do with them. "This is about you, _okay?_ " He forced a smile.

"Now, Kamado. You can't have children." He laughed. "How awful. And you know what I think?"

"What?"

"I think that you don't really love the orphans. You're just using them to fill that void in your heart."

"I love my orphans. You can't convince me otherwise."

"I'm not trying to convince you of anything. I'm just telling you what you feel inside. What you really _think._ " He leaned in towards her and whispered into her ear:

"And when I'm done with you guys, I'm gonna kill every single one of your orphans."

Kamado's eyes grew wide with horror. "They're only children!"

Ganger smirked. "Kids are cruel, Kamado. And I'm very in touch with my inner child."

He vanished.

"Just a spoonful of sugar helps the medicine go down

In a most delightful way."

Ai woke up in the Dark Room. She was all alone.

"Marco? Marco?!"

She then noticed the radio:

"I'm on the train that's pullin' the sick and twisted!

Makin' the most of the ride before we get arrested!  
We're all wasted!  
And we're not going home tonight!"

Ganger pushed her down from behind. "He's not here right now. He can't protect you," he hissed. "So, what's your thing? Another 'good guy' in the madhouse?" He sighed. "Ugh. Booooring," he said as he casually used a claw to rip off her shirt.

"W-what-"

"Shh. Quiet. I'm trying to think here." He paused. "Jesus, there's really nothing special about you, is there? I mean, everyone else has their thing, even Aru and Kamado to some extent. But you? You just have Marco. You're nothing without him." He pushed her head into the dark ground and grinned. "You should be familiar with this position, whore."

"N-no...please don't..." Ai was crying.

Ganger examined her closely. "Hmm...actually, you know what? You're so forgettable, you're not even worth raping. However, I will leave you something to remember me by. Forever."

"What-" Ai was interrupted by Ganger's claws raking her back. She screamed in agony. He sensually licked the blood off of his claws with a long snakelike tongue.

"Goodbye, whore. I'm off to visit your boyfriend." He vanished.

"So shout if you're a freak like me!

Don't apologize!  
They can't hold you down!  
You were born to rise!  
It's our time now to come out!  
If you're a freak like me!  
If you're a freak like me!  
If you're a freak like me!  
If you're a freak like me!  
If you're a freak like me!"


	38. Bring Me A Dream: Part 4

"Mama ain't raised no fool

Daddy told me never leave the house without my tool  
Grandpa told me never trust a sucka nigga from the street  
Grandma said she love me and she always praying for me  
But I just wanna party, I don't wanna hurt nobody  
I just wanna party, I don't wanna hurt nobody  
I just wanna party, I don't wanna hurt nobody  
But I'll beat the fuck out of a nigga!"

Marco was in the Dark Room. Ganger was standing in front of him, smiling.

"I'm Ganger. I just attacked your girlfriend and nearly raped her." He raised his right hand. It was covered in Ai's blood. "Now, what are you going to do about it?"

Marco punched him in the face. Ganger disappeared and reappeared behind him.

"Always quick to fight, aren't you, Marco? Mine's just like you." He laughed. "You can't hurt me, Marco. But I can hurt you."

"Why did you hurt Ai?"

"She reminded me of Yuno. Now, back to you. You're a good fighter, Marco. I'll give you that. But you're not good for much else, are you? You're a complete idiot. You have no friends-"

"Yes, I do!"

"You have no _normal_ friends. And if you're good for nothing but fighting...then how can you protect Ai against something you can't fight?"

Ganger vanished, leaving Marco to think about his words.

"Mama ain't raised no fool

Daddy told me never leave the house without my tool  
Grandpa told me never trust a sucka nigga from the street  
Grandma said she love me and she always praying for me  
But I just wanna party, I don't wanna hurt nobody  
I just wanna party, I don't wanna hurt nobody  
I just wanna party, I don't wanna hurt nobody  
But I'll beat the fuck out of a nigga!"

"Back when Mark Wahlberg was Marky Mark

Fucking faggot!

This is how we used to make the party start  
We used to mix hen' with Bacardi Dark  
And when it kicks in, you can hardly talk  
And by the sixth gin, you gon' probably crawl  
And you'll be sick then, and you'll probably barf  
And my prediction is you gon' probably fall  
Either somewhere in the lobby or the hallway wall  
And everything's spinnin'  
You're beginning to think women are swimmin' in pink linen  
Again in the sink  
Then in a couple of minutes, that bottle of Guinness is finished  
You are now allowed to officially slap bitches  
You have the right to remain violent and start wildin'  
Start a fight with the same guy that was smart eyein' you  
Get in the car, and start it, and start drivin'  
Over the island and cause a forty-two car pile up  
'Earth calling, pilot to co-pilot  
Looking for life on this planet sir, no sign of it  
All I could see is a bunch of smoke flyin'  
And I'm so high that I might die if I go by it  
Let me out of this place I'm outta place  
I'm in in outer space, I've just vanished without a trace  
I'm going to a pretty place now where the flowers grow  
I'll be back in an hour or so.'"

"Hello, Tsubaki."

Tsubaki was standing across from Ganger.

"You're-"

"Yuno's monster, yes, yeah, whatever. The name's Ganger. Welcome to your Dark Room. It's-"

"A part of the Dreamlands separate from the main part and located inside the human mind. I've read a lot on the occult."

Ganger glared at her. "Don't ever fucking interrupt me again." His smile returned. "Anyway, how do you feel about Keigo?"

"Other than a strong urge to call him 'daddy'? He's a friend."

"You know, people often use humor to cope with tragedy. I think that deep down, you hate him. Don't you? You despise him because he never helped you. You had to do it yourself. Same with Yomotsu, same with Marco, same with Ai."

"It's not their fault! They didn't know." Tsubaki looked down. "Nobody knew."

"Maybe they just didn't care enough to look into it. I think on some level, you also blame yourself. You didn't just run away."

"I never had the chance! They would've killed me!"

"At least that's what you tell yourself. But a part of you agrees with me. That's where your eating disorder and low self-esteem comes from. You make yourself throw up and call yourself disgusting, fat, ugly, and stupid because you're punishing yourself for not leaving." Ganger stroked her cheek. "You drink, do drugs, and whore yourself out to cope, and when you're sober, you throw up to punish yourself, partly because of what I just said, and partly because you hate yourself for being an alcoholic, drug-addicted slut."

He pushed her down and grabbed her chin. Tsubaki was trying to hold back tears.

"For all I know, you could've been asking for it."

He got up. "And of course, there's the other thing..."

Tsubaki stood up. "What other thing?"

"We haven't talked about **her.** " Ganger laughed. "I've only just learned about her by going through your memories. Honestly, I can't believe I never realized it sooner. I mean, a girl going through puberty is raped for...what was it, two years?"

"You shut your goddamn mouth."

"Rose, such a pretty name." His smile grew wider. He began to sing: "Give my love to Rose, please, won't you, mister?"

"Stop it."

"Take her all my money, tell her to buy some pretty clothes."

"S-stop it!" Tears flowed down her face.

"Tell my boy that daddy's so proud of him."

"SHUT UP! SHUT UP!"

"And don't forget to give my love to Rose." He grabbed her face again and forced his serpentine tongue down her throat. After a few seconds, he slowly pulled away.

"What..what are you?" asked Tsubaki. She was shaking with fear.

"I'm Yukiteru Amano of Earth-1A."

"...What are you really?"

Ganger laughed his horrific silent laugh. "I am hatred. I am vengeance. I am rape, I am murder, I am necrophilia, I am pedophilia, I am infanticide, I am suicide, I am torture, and I am envy, lust, sloth, greed, gluttony, pride, and wrath. I am the average fourteen year old Japanese boy. I am the anger and self-hatred produced from divorce and from young love gone bad. I am insanity. I am psychopathy and I am sociopathy. I am humanity at its worst. I am Ganger."

He disappeared, leaving her with the music:

"But when it's all said and done, before I know it

I'll be forty with a forty on the porch, tellin' stories  
With a bottle of Jack, two grandkids on my lap  
Babysitting for Hailey, while Hailey's out gettin' smashed

'Cause every time I go to try to leave

Whoa  
Somethin' keeps pullin' on my sleeve

Whoa  
I don't want to, but I gotta stay

Whoa  
These drugs really gotta hold on me

Whoa

'Cause every time I try ta tell 'em "No,"

No  
They won't let me ever let 'em go

Go

'I'm a sucker,' all I gotta say

Whoa  
These drugs really gotta hold on me."


	39. Bring Me A Dream: Part 5

"My child arrived just the other day  
He came to the world in the usual way  
But there were planes to catch, and bills to pay  
He learned to walk while I was away  
And he was talking 'fore I knew it, and as he grew  
He'd say, 'I'm gonna be like you, dad  
You know I'm gonna be like you.'"

Rei was in the Dark Room. Ganger was standing in front of him.

"Hey there, you little retard. Do you know who I am?"

"Not Big Brother, that's for sure."

Ganger laughed. "No, I'm better than him in every way. 'Big Brother', though, let's talk about that. You miss your parents, despite them being awful people- and trust me, I know awful people -so you got attached to the others, but especially my counterpart, but you can't replace them, obviously, and that's where the whole sibling terminology comes in. Anyway, I'm Ganger. I'm the one that's been scaring your Big Sister."

"You leave her alone!"

"I will never leave her. You wanna know something, Rei? Something that is just fucking hilarious?"

He leaned in towards Rei. He grinned. "My Yuno killed you. Twice. Shoved a knife right through your fucking heart. The first time, she cried. The second time? Nothing. Just a dull, blank expression as she watched you bleed out. Nobody cared about you on that world. Not your parents, not Yuno, no one. You're all alone, you poor autistic bastard."

He vanished, leaving Rei in stunned, depressed silence.

"And the cat's in the cradle and the silver spoon

Little boy blue and the man in the moon  
When you coming home, dad?  
I don't know when  
But we'll get together then  
You know we'll have a good time then."

"Well, a man come on the six o'clock news

Said, 'Somebody's been shot, somebody's been abused  
Somebody blew up a building, somebody stole a car  
Somebody got away, somebody didn't get too far, yeah  
They didn't get too far.'"

Keigo was in the Dark Room. Ganger appeared in front of him. Keigo immediately pulled his gun on him.

"Don't you move, you sick son of a bitch."

Ganger laughed silently. "Keigo, you idiot. I'm in a spiritual form. I can't be harmed in a physical way. Now put that down, it won't do you any good-"

Keigo pulled the trigger. The bullet passed through Ganger, leaving him unharmed. "See? I told you so. Always so angry, aren't you, Keigo?"

"Maybe. What's it to you?"

"You present yourself as a good cop, but in reality...well, I'm just gonna ask you a question. How many suspects have you beat up?

"Well..."

"How many?"

"...I lost count."

"There we go. You're just a pent-up ball of rage." He smiled. "Of course, angry guys are a bit of a turn-on for me~ But little boys are also fun." Ganger's grin grew larger than it had any right to be. "Little **brown-haired** boys especially. LITTLE SHAMELESS BIT-"

Keigo unloaded his gun into Ganger. The bullets passed straight through him, as if he wasn't even there. "See what I mean? Anger overrules your judgement. You're not a good guy. You're not perfect."

Ganger's unnatural smile grew wider. "How ever are you going to explain that to little brown-haired Yoi?"

He disappeared.

"You know, justice is the one thing you should always find

You got to saddle up your boys, you got to draw a hard line  
When the gun smoke settles, we'll sing a victory tune  
And we'll all meet back at the local saloon  
And we'll raise up our glasses against evil forces singing,  
'Whiskey for my men, beer for my horses  
Singing whiskey for my men, beer for my horses.'"

"Oh, you look so tired

Mouth slack and wide  
Ill-housed and ill-advised  
Your face is as mean  
As your life has been."

Takao found himself in the Dark Room. Ganger was in front of him.

"Hey there, loser. I'm Ganger."

"Loser?! I'll have you know I'm the Sakurami Ripper!"

"Oh, the guy who killed five people, tripped on a beer bottle, and is now under house arrest for the rest of his life? Look at me, I'm shaking with fear. You know what I think?"

"What?"

"You killed those women so people would be scared of you. Or rather, the image you built up as a monster stalking the nights. You even sent letters to the cops, just like Jack The Ripper. You wanted attention. You wanna know what you'll get, Takeo?"

"Fame is what I'll get."

Ganger laughed. "Well, if you can consider a few episodes of some true crime shows as 'fame'...well, whatever make you feel better."

"How dare you! I'll kill you!"

"You can't kill me. And I'm only telling you what you already know."

He disappeared, leaving Takeo with the music.

"Crash into my arms

I want you  
You don't agree  
But you don't refuse  
I know you."


	40. Bring Me A Dream: Part 6

"Baby, can't you see

I'm calling?

A guy like you should wear a warning  
It's dangerous  
I'm falling~"

Yuno was in the Dark Room. Ganger was standing across from her.

"And now, the moment we've all been waiting for. The main event!"

"Fuck you."

"A crazy person's insult means nothing. Tell me, Yuno...what's your greatest fear?"

"Why would I tell you?"

"Oh, I bet I can figure it out. Your...'condition', let's call it. You're terrified of it. Of yourself."

"And why would I be scared of myself?"

"You're scared of your condition growing out of control. That you might hurt someone. My Yuno did that. In fact..." Ganger smiled wider than he had all night. The corners of his mouth were higher than his eyes. "...would you like to know who you killed?"

Ganger stepped towards her. "You locked your parents in a cage and starved them to death."

"Shut up."

"You told me to kill Takao by throwing a dart at his Diary."

"Shut up."

"When Minene covered the school in bombs, you ran away, setting them off and killing many of your classmates."

"Shut up!"

"You killed many Neo-Omekatans with an ax."

"Shut up!" Yuno tried to run away. She failed, as there was nothing to run to.

"You killed Yomotsu with an ax. You slit his throat, I think."

"SHUT UP!"

"You chopped off Tsubaki's hand."

"SHUT UP!" Tears were streaming down her face.

"You stabbed Rei in the heart!"

"SHUT UP! SHUT-" Ganger slapped her across the face.

"You stabbed Mao! You shot Keigo in the ear!" He pushed her down.

"We fought Ai and Marco! YOU SLIT AI'S THROAT! YOU SHOT JOHN IN THE HEAD AND SLICED HIS MEN UP WITH A FUCKING KATANA!" He grabbed her by the throat and pulled her towards him.

"YOU DECAPITATED ARU! **YOU MANIPULATED ME INTO KILLING HINATA, MAO, AND OUJA!** ** _YOU KILLED YOUR SECOND WORLD VERSION!_** __ _ **AND**_ __ ** _YOU! KILLED! ME!_** " Ganger paused. He dropped her and laughed.

"And you know what the worst part is, Yuno?" He laughed because "Yuno" and "you know" sounded alike. He grabbed her chin and raised her head up, looking deep into her eyes.

"You did most of that shit **twice.** "

He slowly disintegrated.

"With the taste of your lips

I'm on a ride  
You're toxic, I'm slippin' under  
With a taste of the poison paradise

I'm addicted to you  
Don't you know that you're toxic?"

Note: Yeah, kind of a short chapter, my laptop's dying~ But on the bright side, I'm almost done the Ganger arc...oh, and Tsubaki might become an erotic novelist in future chapters; meaning sex scenes~


	41. Bring Me A Dream: Part 7 (Final Part)

"I'mma be, I'mma be, I'mma, I'mma, I'mma be

I'mma be, I'mma be, I'mma, I'mma, I'mma be  
I'mma be, I'mma be, I'mma, I'mma, Imma be  
I'mma be, be, be, be, I'mma, I'mma be  
I'mma be, be, be, be, I'mma, I'mma be  
I'mma be, be, be, be, I'mma, I'mma be

I'mma be on the next level  
I'mma be rockin' over that bass treble  
I'mma be chillin' with my motha'-motha' crew  
I'mma be makin' all them deals you wanna do, hah  
I'mma be up in that maylist flicks  
Doin' one-handed flips, and I'mma be  
Sippin' on drinks, 'cause  
I'mma be shakin' my hips  
You gon' be lickin' your lips  
I'mma be takin' them pics  
Lookin' all fly and shit  
I'mma be the flyest chick

So fly!  
I'mma be spreadin' my wings  
I'mma be doin' my thing

Do it, do it

Okay!"

Ganger and Yuki were in the Dark Room.

"Hello there, Yuki. I'm Ganger. I've-"

Yuki tried to punch Ganger in the face. It passed through him.

"YOU MOTHERFUCKER!"

"Easy, easy! Silly boy, I haven't fucked my mother!" He paused. "Diabolus won't let me. Anyway, you can't attack me. I'm in a spiritual state, I'm not real."

"What are you?"

"I am the Lord Of The Flies and the Lord Of The Dance. I am the post-postmodern Prometheus. I am the dirty pair of vampire gloves you bought on a perverted, lustful impulse and are ashamed, yet aroused, to look at. Just call me your evil twin. Now you, Yuki Amano, are absolutely pathetic. Just like your father."

"I know."

"You can't ever hope to stop me. You are a silly little boy, just an ignorant, silly little boy. Don't you agree? Aren't you just a silly little boy?"

Yuki stared at him in silence.

"Well then," said Ganger, "You better steer Yuno in the right direction. You'd better make her 'run off and play with the others,' in a manner of speaking. They think she's batty. You don't want Keigo to think she's batty, do you? You like Keigo a lot, don't you? And Tsubaki, and Minene?"

Yuki looked up at him. Ganger seemed just a little taller now. The Dark Room became a twisted parody of Yuki's house, the one he used to share with his mother. There were small pools of blood everywhere. His mother was nowhere to be seen.

"What are you doing out here all alone? Aren't you afraid of me? There isn't anyone to help you. Only me. And I'm Ganger."

Yuki looked the beast pretending to be him in the eye.

"Stupid fucking coward."

"Fancy thinking I was something you could attack and kill!" The walls around him echoed with sickening laughter, like the laugh of a mental patient with lung cancer. "You knew, didn't you? I'm a part of you? Close, close, close! I'm the reason why it's no go? Why things are what they are?"

The walls laughed again.

"Come now," said Ganger, extending his clawed hand in mock gesture of friendship. Shadows of the Diary Holders, his friends, and his parents were on the walls, each mutilated in horrific ways. "Get back to the others, and we'll forget the whole thing."

Yuki simply opened the front door and walked out of the house, into the "normal" Dark Room. Ganger shouted at him from the doorway, annoyed by what he had done.

"This is ridiculous. You know perfectly well you'll only meet me out there- so don't try to escape!"

Yuki continued to calmly walk away.

"This has gone quite far enough. My poor, misguided child, do you think you know better than I do?"

Yuki stopped.

"I'm warning you. I'm going to get angry. D'you see? You're not wanted. Understand? We are going to have fun in this room. Understand? We are going to have fun in this room! So don't try it on, my poor misguided boy, or else-"

A legion of dark, powerful arms shot out of the walls and grabbed Yuki.

"-Or else," said Ganger, "we shall do you? See? Minene and John and Karyuudo and Marco and Aru and Tsubaki and Keigo. Do you. See?"

The arms threw him on the ground and disappeared. Yuki got back up.

"Like the reference?

"What reference?"

"...Good Lord, you uncultured piece of shit."

"Better than being a psycho like you."

Ganger grinned. "You can't beat me."

"Probably not," stated Yuki calmly.

Ganger looked at him strangely. This wasn't working, time for a new angle. "Um...your mother...is a slut?"

Yuki clenched his fists. He paused and relaxed. "Well, you know what? I've thought about that, and while I don't want anyone taking advantage of her loneliness, she's an adult and she can make her own decisions."

Ganger glared at him. "I'm going to kill your girlfriend."

"I won't let you." The boy glared back at the creature.

The monster smiled. "There we go. But I'm not really going to kill her, no, Diabolus needs you two alive."

"Did Diabolus tell you to do this?"

"Well, my superior told me to 'prepare' you two without killing you. I wasn't told not to psychologically torture you, so I assumed I could. Anyway, you're boring me. I'm going to play with your precious Yuno a bit more." He laughed. "We've only just begun~"

"I liked that movie."

"I liked the short story better. It was made more clear that the 1408 entity wasn't a ghost."

"You read for fun? Like actual books?"

"Yes."

"You disgusting monster."

"Idiot." Ganger vanished.

"I'mma be rockin' that, .ap infinite

BEP, we definite  
We on some next level shit  
Futuristic musically  
Mind will fold with energy  
From the soul we sonically  
Sending positivity  
Crossed the globe, and seven seas  
Take care of our families  
Rockin' shows, makin' cheese  
I'mma be out with my peas  
Livin' life, feelin' free  
That's how it's supposed to be  
Come join my festivities  
Celebrate like I'mma be."

Ganger appeared next to Yuno again. "Oh, I do love these Dark Rooms! A nice little piece of Dreamland, right inside every human mind! So Yuno, I was thinking that I could taunt you about your parents, and-"

"CLICK!"

Ganger paused. He looked at Yuno and saw she had cocked her gun, which she was pointing at her head.

"Where did you get that?"

"It's my dream. I willed it into existence."

Ganger smirked. "You can't die in a dream. Not unless I kill you. You'll shoot yourself and just wake up."

"That's right, I would...if I were using a dream gun."

Ganger's eyes grew wide. "What are you talking about?"

"Sleepwalking, for lack of a better term. Tsubaki taught me how to do it willingly. I'm really holding a loaded gun to my head."

"And...what do you think that will solve?"

"I know that you're not really here. Your body's somewhere else, but your mind is inside this dream. Essentially, you're in my mind."

"And your point is...?"

"What happens if you're still here while I shoot myself? If my mind dies, so does everything that's in it." Yuno smiled. "Including you."

"That's...that's not...I'll just leave, then." Ganger looked quite proud of himself, believing that he had beaten her. He hadn't.

"And leave me to die? See, there's just one thing you might not know about Yuki. Something you never cared enough to learn." Yuno laughed. "He talks in his sleep."

Ganger was silent, his eyes wide with the realization of what she meant. Yuno continued to talk.

"That's right. I know Diabolus, whatever it is, needs me and Yuki alive. And if it's your superior, it's probably a lot stronger. So what happens if I die and it finds out? I can't imagine it would be happy."

"...You're bluffing."

"Try me. One step forward, and I'm dead. You leave me and the others alone, and I live. It's that simple."

Ganger was shaking with impotent rage. "That's...that's not...that's not fair." He growled. "THAT'S NOT FAIR!" He stomped his foot on the ground repeatedly. " **THAT'S NOT FAIR! YOU CHEATED!** "

"You're just pissy that I beat you."

Ganger breathed in deeply and calmed down. His eyes, along with the veins in his face, briefly turned pitch-black, and then went back to normal.

"This isn't over. It's not. I'll be back again someday. I'll talk to you and your friends a bit more, and then I'll be on my way." He laughed. "Honestly, Yuno. I'm just a little impressed." He walked away and disappeared, muttering, "Bisexual, arrogant assholes," under his breath. He popped into each of the gang's Dark Rooms to talk to them one last time:

"You're a loser, Yuki. Always have been, always will be. Just like your dad. I wonder if you'll ever hit Yuno like he hit you and your mother?"

"You can't control yourself forever, Yuno. One day, you'll hurt Yuki just like my Yuno hurt me."

"You are nothing , Takeo. You are nobody."

"You're not a hero, Keigo. You know, sometimes, I think this house is a looking glass. A mirror. And all the criminals and sociopaths...they're you."

"Nobody loves you, Rei."

"You're very flat, Tsubaki-"

"A C-CUP IS NOT FLAT!"

"...What? I meant your personality. It's just sex, drugs, and self-hatred."

"Oh."

"You can't fight forever, Marco."

"They will all know your secret one day, Ai. And they will despise you for it."

"You are just a stupid old woman, Kamado. You don't deserve children."

"Look at the remains of all who you've killed, Minene. The men, women, and children. Or better yet, go to their grieving families. Ask them if your crusade is worth it."

"Everyone hates you, Karyuudo. Even your own daughter."

"You're going to die first, John. You're just a tired old man, not the next Hitler."

"You can't save anyone, Yomotsu."

"My Aru had something you'll never have."

"What?"

"A family."

Ganger disappeared for the last time. The gang all woke up at once. It was morning.

Ai immediately got up and went to look in the mirror. There were three long, red marks on her back.

In Tsubaki's room, she woke up crying.

"What's wrong?" asked Aru, who was lying next to her.

"I...I dreamed I had a baby."

Yuno put her gun back in its drawer. She walked into the living room and called out to everyone. The gang came into the room, along with Nigger Man and a few of Karyuudo's smaller dogs.

"It's over. Ganger's gone. He won't be coming back."

The radio in the kitchen turned on by itself, surprising everyone. It began to play music:

"Why are there so many songs about rainbows

And what's on the other side?  
Rainbows are visions  
But only illusions  
And rainbows have nothing to hide  
So we've been told  
And some choose to believe it  
I know they're wrong, wait and see

Someday we'll find it  
The rainbow connection..."

On Earth-1C, Yuki Amano and his girlfriend, Moe Wakaba, were going on a triple date with their friend Aru Akise and his new girlfriend, Tsubaki Kasugano, along with their two other friends who had recently started dating, Hinata Tsukishima and Mao Nonosaka.

"The lovers..."

In Earth-C's Cathedral Of Causality, an extension of Heaven, the god Yuki Amano, his beloved wife, Yuno Gasai, and their two loyal servants, Murmur-2 and Murmur-3, were watching over the date, smiling warmly.

"The dreamers..."

On Earth-1A, in the top room of a tower of bone, Diabolus Ex Machina sat in its obsidian throne. It was covered in a large black robe, obscuring its body except for two decayed, nearly mummified hands and a small, glowing pink light originating from its left eye, which was kept in darkness by its hood.

"And me," the figure croaked in a raspy, androgynous voice.

On Earth-YY-1, in a Japanese middle school classroom, a tall, white, faceless humanoid wearing a straw hat, a barbershop quartet-style jacket, and wielding a golden staff with an eighth note at the top was inspecting the unconscious body of Ganger. Next to it was a Japanese man in his early twenties. He had light blue hair, green eyes, and a stoic look on his face. He was wearing glasses and an orange prisoner's uniform. His lips were gone, as if they had been chewed off. Next to the man was a pink-haired Japanese girl in her early teens, wearing a red and white schoolgirl outfit.

"Is he dead?" asked the creature in a voice resembling a mix of David Bowie and Bill Cipher from Gravity Falls.

"I'm not that kind of doctor," said the man in an annoyed tone.

"But you've seen dead bodies before!"

"So have you."

"...Good point. Hey, kid, poke it with something."

"W-what?!" asked the girl, disturbed by the possibility of coming into contact with a dead body.

"Hey, I tried screaming 'humans suck' at him, and that didn't work, so I'm out of ideas."

Before the girl could poke it, Ganger awoke and sat upright.

"I apologize for the delay. I had to take care of some business first." He stood up. He looked at the man. "A pleasure to meet you, Dr. Inumuta." He looked down at the girl. "Miss Yoshikawa." He looked at the monster. He smiled. "Private Bl-"

"Who are you and what do you want?" snapped the creature angrily. "Are you Yuki Amano?"

"Oh, I'm not him. I'm better in every way. Song And Dance Man, Doctor Houka Inumuta, Chinatsu Yoshikawa, my name is Ganger. I believe we have the same goals."

"Which would be?"

Ganger grinned wider, revealing his sharp, thin, needle-like teeth, which frightened Chinatsu. "Doing whatever the fuck we want."


	42. Piss Stream Media

Tsubaki was sitting on the couch with Nigger Man on her lap. In front of her was a table, and sitting on a chair on the other side of the table was a purple-haired young woman in a suit and skirt. Behind her was a cameraman with dark blonde hair. Unlike the woman, he seemed to be only partially Japanese; in fact, he looked like he was half-white. The camera had a red circle on the side of it, with "SCNN" in white letters inside of it. SCNN, the Sakurami City News Network, was Sakurami's popular local news channel.

"This is Satsuki Sugiura with SCNN, and I'm reporting live from inside the famed 'God House' with mayoral candidate Tsubaki Kasugano and my cameraman, Martin Hasegawa."

Tsubaki waved shyly. "Hi, everyone."

"Ms. Kasugano, please state your date of birth and age. Our viewers are particularly interested in the former mayor's new law on the age required to run for office."

"Oh, of course. I was born on February 9, 2002, and I'm fifteen years old."

"Fifteen, that's so young. And you're running for mayor?"

"Well, yes, I am."

"Amazing. Now, Ms. Kasugano, you were the leader of the Omekata Cult before you moved in here?"

"Well...'leader' is a bit of a stretch. And please, call me Tsubaki."

"Alright, Tsubaki. But you did have powerful position in the cult?"

"No."

"That's rather surprising. I mean, your parents did found the cult. After their unfortunate deaths-"

"Murders."

"Excuse me?"

"After their murders. My parents were drugged with a slow-acting sedative by Funatsu Ogure. After the sedative kicked in, their car ran off a cliff and crashed. As a precaution, Funtasu placed a bomb underneath the car, which exploded. My parents burned to death. I was twelve years old."

"...Okay, then. So how was life in the cult?"

"...Are you serious? It was all over the news."

"Well, it's just that some of our viewers might not be aware-"

"Alright, you know what? Sure, I'll tell you. The minute, the fucking MINUTE after my parents died, I was shoved in a cage where I was brutally raped by Funatsu and twenty-nine other men every day of my life for two years. They drugged me, threatened me, and broke my leg at one point. I wasn't allowed to attend my parents' funeral. Not a day went by where I wasn't in agonizing pain. Jizz and blood constantly ran down my thighs. And then every one of those bastards burned to death slowly and painfully, like they deserved. That should answer everything about the cult. I expect that to be the last cult-related question you have. Next question."

"But-"

"Next question or get the fuck out of my house."

"...Alright, then. Tsubaki-"

"Ms. Kasugano."

"Ms. Kasugano, what will you do if elected mayor?"

"There will be lighter sentences for certain drug-related crimes and heavier ones for sexual and child-related crimes. Both the SCPD and hospitals will have more funding." What Tsubaki didn't mention was that some of the hospitals were for mental illnesses, rather than physical ones. Mentioning mental health in Japan was political suicide.

"And your stance on drug crimes, is this because of your own-"

"Stay on the topic, Ms. Sugiura." Nigger Man growled at her.

"Well, actually, that was my last question related to politics. Thank you for your time, Ms. Kasugano."

Tsubaki, followed by Nigger Man, got up and walked into her room. Aru was waiting for her. She closed the door and punched a hole in the wall.

"That bitch!"

"Reporters are fucking snakes, what a surprise. Want me to shoot lasers at her?"

"No, that'd be a PR nightmare."

She sighed. "Be honest, how bad did I fuck up?"

"Well, she never brought up your depression or your bulimia, so that's good. And she didn't talk about your sex life."

Tsubaki smiled and kissed Aru. "You mean our sex life~"

Back in the living room, Satsuki was talking into the camera.

"Don't go away! Our next interview is with the other candidate: former mayor John Bacchus!"


	43. The Devil And Johnathan Bacchus

John sat down on the couch.

"Hello, Mr. Bacchus."

"Hello, Ms. Sugiura."

"Mr. Bacchus, why have you decided to run for re-election?"

"Have you seen the alternative?"

Both of them laughed. The camera briefly zoomed into Tsubaki standing in the hallway, both middle fingers extended.

"Mr. Bacchus, please state your age and date of birth."

"Fifty-six and April 30, 1960."

"So you're the oldest Diary Holder?"

"Correct."

"Have anyone special in your life?"

John laughed. "Well, there is someone I've had my eye on...but nothing has happened yet."

"I'm sure you'll get her. What are your policies if re-elected?"

"When re-elected, I essentially won't change anything. This city's fine the way it is."

"You've been called the 'Donald Trump of Sakurami'. How do you feel about that?"

"I am a big, big fan of President Trump. He's doing an excellent job. But the difference between him and I is that, tying into my previous statement, I don't need to 'Make Sakurami Great Again', because it's already great."

"How do you feel about the other Diary Holders that support you?"

"Well, I previously considered Yukiteru to be a rude, vulgar idiot."

"I'm not fuckin' vulgar!" shouted Yuki off-camera.

"But recently, he genuinely seems interested in helping me. I guess he finally grew up. Mr. Hiyama was a bit of a surprise, as he's never really seemed to have been interested in politics. But I think that he simply wants a chance at redemption, a chance I'm prepared to give him. After all, he saved quite possibly the entire world during the Observer Incident." John neglected to mention two things: Murmur did most of the work, and Takao only wanted to save the world because he lived on it.

"And what do you say to people like Keigo Kurusu, who strongly oppose this?"

John smirked. "I'd like to remind Inspector Kurusu that he's the one who started the Diary Holder Reformation Program for Minene Uryu, who has a much higher body count than Mr. Hiyama."

"The primary argument seems to be that while most of Ms. Uryu's body count is collateral damage, Mr. Hiyama deliberately set out to kill those five women. And he also hospitalized a nine year old girl when she witnessed his fifth murder."

"Hey, nobody's perfect."

"I see. And why have you chosen Marcus Matthews, a rather unknown person, as your deputy mayor instead of one of the Diary Holders?"

"Have you met the other Diary Holders?"

Satsuki laughed. "Well, thank you for your time, Mr. Bacchus."

"And thank you for yours."

John walked into his room. Tsubaki was talking to Keigo in the hallway.

"Dude, your reformation bullshit is gonna bite us in the ass."

John closed the door behind him. Murmur was waiting for him on his bed.

" _Eleventh, Third is going to drag you down with him. It's suicide. Why did you make him part of your team?_ "

"Because, Murmur, it's not suicide. It's simply a risk. If Takao fucks up, I'm finished. But if he genuinely reforms, or at least pretends to-"

" _The latter is much more likely._ "

"Yes, I know. Look, if he at least pretends to reform, I'll look amazing. And with you on my side, I'm not sure if I could fail even if I wanted to. You know the human mind inside and out! That's why you're on my team."

" _All I'm saying is-_ " Murmur's phone rang.

"You have a cellphone?"

" _Yeah, shut up._ " He pulled the pink cellphone out of his right stocking and answered.

" _Hey. Oh, Moloch, what's up? Wait- okay, but- look, just- dude, calm the fuck down, you're freaking out!_ " Murmur's eyes widened. " _You- you want me to come NOW?! Look, I- hey, don't you pull rank on me!_ " He sighed. " _Alright, fine, fine, I'm coming, just chill out._ "

Murmur hung up, placed the phone back in his stocking, and sighed.

"What is it?"

" _I gotta go to Hell for a bit. See you later._ "

"Well, don't be gone for too long. I'll need you when Yomotsu's interview is over."

" _Fine, I'll be right back._ " He disappeared in a cloud of smoke. John smiled.

"See you soon, 'Mr. Matthews'."


	44. Murmur's Inferno

When Murmur appeared in the office in a small cloud of smoke, he noticed that the light bulb was red. The desk in front of him was made of some kind of dark brown wood. There was a black couch in front of it. The windows were tinted bright red. Briefly, he wondered if he was in the right place. And then he heard it.

From somewhere outside the office, yet very close to it, a baby started crying. The crying grew louder. This was not a cry of sorrow, but of pain; a cry of pure agony. Then he heard another. And another. And another. Hundreds, then thousands, then millions of crying, shrieking babies. He then heard the roar of a massive fire erupting, and all was silent. Murmur laughed, and he knew he was in the office of King Moloch.

A door beside the desk opened. Moloch stepped inside, closing it behind him. He was a tall, intimidating figure. He had the arms, legs, and body of a light-brown skinned man, but that was where the similarities ended. His feet and hands were clawed. His head was that of a black bull's, with a third in the center of his forehead; each eye was yellow, with pitch-black pupils. He had two massive red-feathered wings extending from his back. A royal crown was on his head, between his horns. He was covered in the blood of children and the tears of their mothers.

The two demons had known each other since before the Fall. Moloch was a Seraph who had mentored Murmur when he was promoted to Throne. He had been a general in Lucifer's army. He had visited Earth in the time of the Canaanites, where he had befriended their gods and terrified the humans with his pyrokinetic abilities. The Canaanites fed their new god of fire all kinds of roasted food: flour, turtle-dove, mutton, veal, beef, and his favorite: human children. He made such an impact that he was even written into the Bible.

Moloch sat down on a chair of iron and bronze. Murmur sat on the couch.

" _You wanted to see me, Moloch?_ "

" _Not me, Murmur. Someone else._ "

" _Who?_ "

" _Lucifuge Rofocale._ "

Murmur's eyes widened. " _L-Lucifuge? W-what does he want?_ "

" _Focalor didn't say. Of course, he doesn't say much, anyway._ "

Murmur rolled his eyes. That was how things were in Hell. Nobody talked to you personally at first, they always sent out a subordinate. The problem is nobody can keep track of who's in charge of who, what with all the promotions and subgroups. When Murmur first fell, he was made an Earl or Count (which are different terms for the same thing) in the 30 Club, a group of Earls/Counts who each ruled over thirty legions of demons (that's one hundred and fifty-six thousand demons each), and then he was promoted to the 30 Club of Dukes, and now he was in the 30 Club of Great Dukes, which is apparently better than a Duke even though he still controlled the same number of demons when he was an Earl.

The ranking system got so bad that Lucifer had to get Internet in Hell so they could Google where everyone stood in the hierarchy. But even before that, everyone agreed that Satan was at the top, that under him was Lucifer, that under him were Leviathan and Belial, that under them were Beelzebub, Mammon, Belphegor, and Asmodeus, and that under all of them was Lucifuge Rofocale.

Lucifuge was Lucifer's twin "brother" (as spiritual entities, most angels and demons didn't have genders) who was created at the same time as him. Formerly a Seraph, Lucifuge had always unsettled Murmur slightly. While Lucifer was loud, outspoken, and prideful, Lucifuge was quiet, introverted, and creepy. After the Fall, Lucifuge was made Prime Minister of Hell, in charge of all the promotions and ranks and clubs. He had four main servants: King Bael (who had recently returned to Hell), Grand Duke (or Great Duke, which was the same thing) Agares, Great President Marbas, and, of course, Great Duke Focalor.

Focalor was another Seraph, created just minutes after Lucifer and Lucifuge, making him the third-oldest demon. Lucifer couldn't care less about anyone other than himself, but Lucifuge always treated him as sort of a younger brother. The two did everything together, and when their brother lead his rebellion, they quickly joined him. Focalor followed Lucifuge around like a lost puppy, constantly desiring his older brother to be proud of him. It made Murmur sick.

Murmur had always hated Focalor. At first, he just hated him for ranking above him, but he quickly grew to like his superiors more than his equals and subordinates. Except for Focalor, of course. Fucking Focalor. Then he hated him for being such an ass-kissing sycophant, like so many other Seraphim. Except for Lucifer and Lucifuge. They understood that there needed to be a change in Heaven. Deus didn't care about them, only His retarded, inbred, hairless apes! Why should an angel bow down to an ape? It made no sense!

And now Focalor, whenever he wasn't throwing a tantrum in the Bermuda Triangle, was down in Hell, still worshiping his brother. Either way, he was always, ALWAYS whining. To make matters worse, while Focalor had once been simply a Duke in the 3 Club, he was now a Great Duke in the 30 Club: exactly the same rank as Murmur.

Murmur sighed. Fucking Focalor.

" _Did you hear about Michael's promotion?_ " asked Moloch.

" _What?_ "

" _Apparently, he's a Seraph now._ "

" _WHAT?!_ "

" _Yeah. Not only a Seraph, but he's Deus' second-in-command._ "

" _WHAT?!_ "

Murmur pounded his fists on the desk in rage.

Even though Michael was a special kind of archangel who had always been more powerful than Murmur, he was still just an archangel. Murmur was his superior. But now he was Deus' second-in-command! Murmur had ONE thing over Michael, and now...

Murmur stopped. And now, why should he care? He wasn't an angel anymore. It didn't affect him.

" _Oh, well. Doesn't matter. He's still an idiot._ "

" _That's true._ "

" _So, what were those screams earlier? I mean, I know what made them, but where did they come from?_ "

" _The Democrats._ "

" _Oh. You know, the Clintons don't really believe in you. They just say that they do to gain control over the other Democrats._ "

There was a long, awkward silence. Moloch snapped his fingers and Murmur disappeared in a cloud of smoke.

" _Fucking midget prick._ "

Murmur appeared in front of a large black iron gate. The ground was red and cracked. The ceiling was covered in red stalactites. Surrounding the area was a sea of lava. He heard someone crying in the distance. The crying grew louder and louder, until the demon Murmur wanted to see the least crawled out of the lava and onto the ground.

Murmur sighed.

Fucking Focalor.

Focalor was a truly disturbing sight to behold. He resembled a nude man with green, scaly skin. His hair was like seaweed. His face was twisted in anguish and despair, with tears running down it. His wings, large and feathered like that of an eagle's, covered his body. He smelled like a mixture of the scent of the sea and the unmistakable stench of death. Formerly a beautiful angel, he was now a monstrous personification of depression and rage.

" _Where's Lucifuge?_ "

Focalor continued to cry.

" _I'll ask you again, where is Lucifuge?_ "

The crying grew even louder. Murmur was getting angrier by the minute.

" _WHERE IS LUCIFUGE?!_ "

The crying was almost deafening at this point. Enraged, Murmur pulled a massive hammer out of his stocking and hit Focalor with it, knocking him into the gate. He jumped onto him, hitting him a few more times before putting the hammer back into his stocking, and began to choke him.

" _Do you know why I hate you, Focalor, and I mean honestly fucking HATE you?!_ "

His small hands squeezed tighter on his throat.

" _You little faggot, shut the fuck up! You fell like the rest of us, but you thought, FOR SOME FUCKING REASON, that Deus would just forgive you! For a thousand years, you had this smug fucking grin on your face, telling us all to go fuck ourselves and that we'll all burn here for eternity, and then a thousand years pass, and you realize THAT YOU'RE FUCKED JUST LIKE THE REST OF US! THAT YOU'RE GONNA SPEND THE REST OF YOUR LIFE IN THIS GLORIFIED PRISON! AND YOU FREAKED THE FUCK OUT!_ "

Murmur smashed Focalor's head against the gate.

" _AND NOW YOU CRY AND BITCH AND MOAN, AND THAT'S ALL YOU DO!_ _THAT'S ALL YOU FUCKING DO! YOU CAN'T EVEN FORM A SENTENCE ANYMORE! ALL YOU'RE GOOD FOR IS BITCHING AND WHINING AND KILLING THOSE RETARDED FUCKING APES WHENEVER END UP IN THE BERMUDA COCKSUCKING TRIANGLE!_ "

Focalor tried to push Murmur off of him.

" _YOU WANNA WHY I HATE YOU, FOCALOR?! WHY IT'S ALWAYS YOU, WHY ALL THIS FUCKING SHIT KEEPS HAPPENING TO YOU?!_ "

Murmur didn't see the black cloud forming behind him.

" _IT'S BECAUSE YOU ARE SUCH A LITTLE VICTIM, FOCALOR!_ "

A bolt of lightning struck Murmur, throwing him off of Focalor. Still crying, Focalor got up and glared at him. Murmur stood up and took his trumpet out of its place on his belt.

" _Oh, it is on, motherfucker. It is fucking ON NOW, BITCH!_ "

Thunder crashed. A hurricane clashed with a burning tornado. Vultures fought with griffins. The area was covered in steam. At one point, Murmur was swallowed by a lusca, a creature that could be accurately described as a "sharktopus". Murmur burst out of its stomach and blew his trumpet at it, propelling it towards Focalor.

" _EVEN IN THIS WEAK FORM, I'M STILL STRONGER THAN YOU,_ _FUCKAL-WHORE!_ "

Focalor lunged at Murmur. He grabbed his throat and smashed the small demon into a rock wall. Focalor pulled his arm back, ready to crush Murmur's head with his fist.

" _That's quite enough, both of you,_ " said a soft, yet at the same time threatening male voice.

Focalor turned around and dropped Murmur. Murmur looked up to see who his savior was. His eyes widened in shock.

" _M-Mister Prime Minister, sir!_ "

Lucifuge Rofocale resembled a man with the legs and tail of a black goat. His fingers had sharp, black claws. He had two black eagle wings portruding from his back. His skin was unnaturally pale, with the texture of marble or ivory. He had three large black horns on his head, with one between the other two as a twisted mockery of a royal crown. His eyes were almost pure white, with small black pupils. His white teeth, with the same texture as his skin, were large and sharp.

He walked towards them.

" _Brother,_ " he said, as if gently scolding a disobedient child, " _that's no way to treat our guests. Even if they are as loud and annoying as Murmur. Why don't you go and attack a cruise ship in the Triangle?_ "

Focalor disappeared.

" _Walk with me, Murmur._ "

" _Y-yes, sir._ "

The two walked through the open gate, which closed behind them. They passed by a picnic table. Sitting at or next to the table were Lucifuge's other three servants.

Bael was eight feet tall. He had the torso, arms, and hands of a muscular, light brown-skinned man. On his left shoulder was the head of a frog, on his right shoulder was the head of a cat, and in the center was a man's head with a large bull's horn on each side, with a royal crown between them. A spider's body and eight legs held the demon up. He was standing near the table, as he couldn't sit due to his legs.

Agares resembled an old, thin, tired, yet calm-looking white man. He had a scraggly white beard. A bird, resembling a mixture of a hawk, a sparrowhawk, and a goshawk, but undoubtedly some member of the genus Accipiter, was perched on his wrist. He was not sitting at the table; rather, he was sitting on a large crocodile.

Marbas was a roughly six foot tall, toned, and fit humanoid lion with a beard. He had fiery eyes that changed color from brown, to blue, to grey, to silver, with live snakes emerging from his back. His beard, fur, and tail were black. His feathered wings were a mixture of blue, grey, and black. He was the only one who was actually sitting at the table.

On the table was a case of beer bottles. Bael drank some.

" _Those, those fuckin'...fuckin' ASSHOLES...they, they wouldn't fuckin' a good leader if one...I dunno, bombed a city or somethin',_ " said Bael in a hoarse voice. " _I USED TO BE A GOD!_ "

" _Well,_ " said Agares gently, " _a lot of us used to be fucking gods, my friend. I mean, look at Moloch. He used to be a god, and now he's doing fine-_ "

" _MOLOCH CAN EAT A BAG OF ROASTED UNCUT BABY DICKS!_ "

" _Well, alright then._ "

" _Humans are fucking idiots,_ " growled Marbas in a guttural voice.

" _Hey, guys,_ " said Murmur.

" _Well, look who decided to join the party!_ " exclaimed Bael. " _Lucifuge, you invited this guy?_ "

" _He has business with the emperor._ "

" _Yeah, I have business with the_ _WAIT, WHAT?!_ "

" _Oh, I may have forgotten to tell you. Yes, my brother wishes to see you._ "

Murmur was shocked. Lucifer himself wanted to see him. Why? He was just a Great Duke! Maybe...no, it had to be! Deus was involved! That's why Lucifer wanted to see him! Murmur had been serving Lucifer's most hated enemy, and now...

In what had become a recurring experience that day, Murmur's eyes widened in terror. Oh no. This was bad. This was very bad.

Lucifuge noticed Murmur's fear and laughed, something he did very rarely, which only served to frighten Murmur even more.

" _I assure you, Murmur, you're not in trouble._ "

" _I-I thought the emperor was on Earth! In Turkey!_ "

" _He's returned to see you. All of the archdemons are throwing him a party to celebrate._ "

" _Yeah,_ " said Bael, " _the rest are inside. All the top guys are in there._ "

" _So, Murmur,_ " said Agares, " _what're you up to these days?_ "

" _Besides being Deus' bitch,_ " said Marbas. All three of them laughed.

" _Well, right now, I'm helping the Eleventh get re-elected as mayor of Sakurami._ "

" _And how are you doing that?_ "

" _I'm his deputy mayor. Everyone thinks I'm a human named Marcus Matthews._ "

Bael growled. " _Dammit, I should've done that! Would've called myself...I dunno...'Barry Elwood', or something._ "

" _Wait,_ " said Agares, " _Marcus Matthews? 'Matthews' as in 'Matthias'?_ "

" _Well...yeah._ "

" _You realize if you get found out, you're basically just advertising your true name? Do you have any fucking idea how much power that gives the apes over you?_ "

" _I won't get found out. And Lucifer uses his real name!_ "

" _You're not nearly as powerful as_ _Lucifer,_ " said Marbas. " _That's just like you, Murmur._ _Too damn prideful for your own good._ "

" _Or maybe,_ " said Bael, smirking, " _you're gettin' soft on us._ "

" _What?!_ "

" _Yeah,_ " said Agares, " _Maybe you chose it because it reminds you of before the Fall._ "

" _Pussy,_ " said Marbas.

" _F-for your information, I just beat the shit out of Focalor!_ "

" _From where we were sitting, it seemed more like he was about to punch you before Lucifuge stepped in._ "

" _It was an equally-matched fight,_ " said Lucifuge, smiling. " _Come along now, Murmur. You haven't even seen the party yet._ "

The two of them walked up the road to a massive black house with yellow light coming from the windows. It looked like something out of a cartoon's Halloween episode. Lucifuge opened the door, and they stepped inside. Moloch was sitting on a couch watching Paranormal Witness on TV. He laughed.

" _Man, I scared the shit out of that guy._ "

" _Hey, Moloch._ "

" _Hey, Murmur. Glad you finally made it. What took you so long?_ "

" _Fucking Focalor._ "

Around the first floor, various archdemons were talking and drinking:

Great Duke Astaroth of the 40 Club was the leader of the Great Dukes. He was a tall, nude, effeminate white man with light blonde hair, with two white feathered wings with red and blue streaks, and wearing a crown. He held a viper in his right hand. He had the horns of a bull, the ears of a donkey, and the claws of a lion. He had a bright red snake's tail. He had small feet, a chestnut-colored neck, and on his back were the spines of a hedgehog, each the length of someone's middle finger. His breath smelled foul and rotten. He rode a large black wolf with scales on its back, with the wings of a dragon and the tail of a snake. He had charmed many goddesses back in the days of Mesopotamia and Ancient Egypt. Astaroth was talking to King Amaymon about how unfair the Fall was.

King Amaymon was an incredibly powerful demon, said to be as powerful as Asmodeus, one of the Seven Princes (which is different from a normal Prince). He was an old Egyptian man, with a white beard and long white hair hanging over his eyes. His hair had the texture of a horse's. He had two black-feathered wings. In his right hand he held a pointed rod. He rode a large, angry lion. His breath was not only bad, it was genuinely poisonous. He and Astaroth were close friends.

Great King Purson was a young Egyptian man with a lion's head. He had the wings of a falcon and held a ferocious viper in one hand and a trumpet in the other. He was riding a large bear. He was talking to Zagan about various precious metals.

Great King Zagan was a light brown-skinned minotaur with the wings of an eagle.

King Gaap was a light brown-skinned man with the black wings of a bat, two straight horns on his head, and wearing a knight's armor. He was giving dirty looks to Beleth, who was on the other side of the room.

King Paimon was a man with an effeminate face and a tail, wearing a golden crown with several bright gemstones on it and a snake moving around the points. He was also wearing fine, bright red robes and a shiny white embroidered collar. He was riding a dromedary camel. In a loud, clear voice, he was discussing philosophy with Gaap.

King Beleth was on the other side of the room, angrily glaring at Gaap. He and Gaap hated each other for unknown reasons (something to do with a guy named Ham). He resembled a mixture of a werewolf and a werecat, with black feathered wings, each ten feet long. He had a third eye in his forehead, resembling a quartz crystal. He had two long horns and four tails. He rode a pale horse. Beleth looked absolutely enraged; of course, Beleth always looked absolutely enraged.

King Vine was a thin, black-furred humanoid lion with a platinum blonde-tipped mane. He had black-feathered wings. In one hand, he carried a golden staff with a black snake coiling around it. He rode a black horse. He was talking to Beleth about an anime the humans had recently featured him in; in it, he was depicted as a kind young girl. While he was angered by this, he had to admit that she was rather charming.

King Balam joined Moloch in watching TV on the couch. He was a nude, effeminate, light brown-skinned man with three heads: a man's head wearing a royal crown in the center, a bull's on his right shoulder, and a ram's on his left shoulder. He had six flaming eyes and the tail of a snake. A bird, the same type that Agares kept as a pet, was on his right fist. His method of transportation, an enraged bear, was sitting on the floor next to the couch. He was talking to Moloch about different kinds of magic in a hoarse voice.

Bael, Agares, and Marbas walked in (well, Agares rode in on his crocodile) with their case of beer.

" _Hey, dipshits!_ " shouted Bael, " _Your saviors have arrived!_ "

The archdemons cheered. Bael shouted something to Moloch about "roasted uncut baby dicks".

Unfortunately, while the ensuing argument happened, and while Gaap (who had already drank two bottles of red wine) and Beleth started shouting at each other, nobody noticed that Bael had left the front door open. A Shed sneaked inside and grabbed a bottle of beer, and then quickly went outside, doing his odd mixture of running and flying, shrieking in joy at his friends, a group of Shedim that had gathered outside the house.

The Shedim demons were one of Deus' discarded, half-assed projects. They resembled small, pale, deformed humans, roughly the size of Murmur, with some limbs shorter than the others. They had the feet and claws of roosters, the tails of snakes, and small, white-feathered wings. They were basically half-retarded (by demon standards, anyway; in reality, they were just slightly dumber than humans), and even worse (from a demon's perspective), they were mortal (of course, nothing is truly immortal and must die some day, but the point is that most demons lived much, much longer than Shedim).

The Shedim lived slightly longer than humans. Unlike most demons, who were spiritual beings and could only be harmed by other spiritual beings, Shedim were entirely biological. They ate (meat, mostly) and drank (alcohol, mostly) to survive, rather than for pleasure like other demons. They pissed, shit, had sex, had children, and died of old age. Many demons actually pitied them.

The Shed ran back in and was about to grab another bottle, when Lucifuge calmly grabbed his tail, smashed him repeatedly against a wall, and threw him back outside. He then ordered Beleth and Gaap to stop fighting and clean up the bloody mess on his wall, which they immediately did.

Pity only extended so far for demons.

Murmur followed Lucifuge upstairs to the second floor. Up here were four of the Seven Princes, sitting at or next to a table:

Asmodeus (also referred to as Asmodeus The Elder, Asmodeus I, or Asmodeus Shamdon) was the Prince Of Lust. He was one of the younger demons, the son of Adam and the succubus Lilith. Deus raised him and made him a Throne, like Murmur. He had a personal army of demons called the Asmodai. As he was a cambion (half-demon) himself, he made a cambion, Asmodeus II, his second-in-command, the son of King David and the succubus Agrat Bat Mahlat, the daughter of Asmodeus' half-sister Mahlat and the morally ambiguous archangel Samael, and the granddaughter of Lilith and Cain (Mahlat's parents); this made Asmodeus II five eighths-human and Asmodeus his half-great-uncle.

Asmodeus had the arms, legs, body, and head of a light brown-skinned man. His left foot was that of a goose's and his right foot was that of a rooster's. He had a snake's tail and breathed fire. On his right shoulder was a bull's head, and on his left was a ram's. He had a royal crown on his human head, and rode a lion with the wings and neck of a dragon.

Belphegor was the Prince Of Sloth. He, like Moloch and Bael, was worshiped by a Biblical tribe; in his case, the Moabites worshiped him as a god of war, the sun, and the moon. He was a nude, light-brown skinned androgynous man with a black beard, horizontal horns, sharp claws, the long tail of a cow, and a large uncut penis. He was sitting on a wheelchair made of wood from tree branches (he didn't need it, he just didn't like walking). He was misanthropic, even for a demon, due to his belief that humans were naturally lazy and incapable of being happy in a relationship.

Mammon was the Prince Of Greed. He was a tall, thin, light brown-skinned man wearing nice, expensive clothes and riding a white wolf.

Beelzebub was the Prince Of Gluttony. The people of the ancient city of Ekron worshiped him as a god. He resembled a massive, black, androgynous humanoid fly, with a wise, bloated face and swollen chest, with flashing eyes and raised eyebrows. He had the long tail of a lion, covered in rainbow scales with the stinger of a bee at the end. He had large nostrils, two cow horns on his head, and two bat wings attached to his shoulders. He had the feet of a duck, and was covered in black, shaggy, goat-like fur. His hands had the claws of a leopard. He breathed fire.

" _Beelzebub,_ " said Lucifuge, " _how are you today?_ "

" _Hungry,_ " replied Beelzebub in a loud voice, like the howl of a wolf.

" _Oh, of course, you must be starved, sir! Don't worry, I'll have some meat for you soon._ "

Lucifuge and Murmur walked upstairs to the third floor. Leviathan and Belial were discussing Earth (the planet) and humans.

Leviathan was the Prince Of Envy and the Crown Prince Of Water. He was a gigantic, seven-headed, green-scaled sea serpent. He had ridges on his back and two massive fins with the shape of a whale's fins, but with the webbing of a fish's fins. His eyes were glowing white. His jaws were like those of a crocodile's. He was in a large swimming pool.

Belial was the Crown Prince Of Earth, both the element and the planet. He resembled a light brown-skinned angel, wearing white robes, black shoes, and a golden crown. He had the horns and brown ears of a goat, and a black beard. He had two white-feathered wings. He was sitting in a burning chariot. He was the fourth-oldest demon, and was Lucifer's main assistant in his rebellion.

" _Well, if it isn't young Murmur!_ " said Belial. Leviathan roared.

" _H-hello, sirs._ "

" _What brings you here?_ "

" _Lucifer wanted to see him,_ " said Lucifuge.

" _Why?_ "

" _He didn't say._ "

" _That's just like old Lucifer. Too important to let anyone else know his ingenious ideas._ "

Murmur followed Lucifuge to a black door in the back of the room. Lucifuge opened it, revealing a massive descending staircase, surrounded by complete darkness.

" _He's down there._ "

Murmur was about to walk down the staircase, when Lucifuge put his cold hand on his shoulder and stopped him.

" _Murmur, what do you think of me? Be honest._ "

" _W-well, um, frankly, s-sir...you scare the shit out of me._ "

Lucifuge smiled. " _That's what I wanted to hear._ "

Murmur walked down the stairs. Lucifuge closed the door, getting rid of his only light source. It got very cold; Murmur was freezing. Which was impressive because, as Murmur was a spirit, that should have been physically impossible.

After a while, he began to hear screaming. That was when he started to run down the stairs. He ran as fast as he could. He thought he had escaped the screaming when he bumped into something and fell back on the cold stone floor.

Murmur looked up. He saw a young white man. He was wearing a black suit and tie, white pants, and black shoes. At first glance, Murmur thought he could see red ribbons on his pants. He then realized that they weren't ribbons at all; they were bloodstains. He had red, bat-like wings coming from his shoulders. He had short blonde hair and bright blue eyes. He was beautiful. He was terrifying.

This was him. The Prince Of Pride. The Crown Prince Of Air. The Emperor Of Hell.

Lucifer.

Murmur stared at him.

" _Hello, Murmur,_ " said Lucifer, smiling warmly at him.

He continued to stare.

" _I haven't seen you in so long._ "

He remained silent. Lucifer laughed.

" _Murmur, it's alright. Don't be nervous, my friend. Just say something. Relax. Chill out._"

Murmur laughed nervously. " _U-um, w-well, s-s-sir...why...why did you want to see me?_ "

" _Oh, please. Call me Lucifer. All my friends do. Follow me._ "

The two walked together for some time, eventually ending up on walkway. The two looked down over the railing.

" _Is Zeus still pissed at me for stealing his altar?_ "

" _Yeah. And he goes by 'Jupiter' these days._ "

" _Y'know, I never got why us spiritual beings have so many names._ "

" _So, uh...how was Turkey?_ "

" _Fuck Turkey. Germany was so much better. At least it was when I visited._ "

" _When was that?_ "

" _1935._ "

" _You know, a lot of apes think you and Satan are the same guy._ "

" _Well, we are. Were, anyway. So they're not technically wrong._ " Lucifer sighed. " _Look down, Murmur._ "

Murmur looked down. He saw a frozen ocean and a gigantic monster. It was at least as big as Deus. Only the beast's upper half was visible; the rest was trapped in ice. It was humanoid, but that was its only resemblance to humanity. The abominable monstrosity had red, ragged fur. Each of its fingers had a long, black claw. It had three necks, with a head on each one, conjoined at the top. Each had two black, bat-like wings under its chin. The wings were moving rapidly, creating a freezing wind. The left head was pitch-black, the right head was a sickly pale yellow, and the central head was blood-red. Each head had two massive horns, the same color as their respective heads. Its six eyes were black, with red pupils. Each face was twisted in despair, rage, and agony. Each of his eyes were crying, the tears mixing with bloody foam and pus from his mouth as they fell. Each mouth had a man caught between its sharp teeth.

This was the Prince Of Wrath. The Crown Prince Of Fire. This was Satan.

" _Look at what He's done to me, Murmur. He threw me down from Heaven, where I crashed into that ocean and became that...that thing! All I could do was split my being in half. One half, prideful, intelligent, and powerful, and one half, wrathful, barely sentient, and powerless. You see those three guys? That's Marcus Junius Brutus dangling by his feet in the left, Gaius Cassius Longinus dangling by his feet in the right, and in the middle? Judas Iscariot, having his head chewed and his back skinned with claws. Apparently, personal betrayal of Deus is the worst sin anyone can commit. And I thought I was egotistical. It's not fair._ "

Lucifer became silent, glaring at Satan. He angrily hit the railings. " ** _IT'S NOT! FUCKING! FAIR!_**" His skin became grey, like that of an old, decomposing corpse. His arms became blue, like those of someone freezing to death. The stains on his pants grew until they covered them completely. Parts of his pants were ripped, and fluttered in the wind like ribbons. His face had a look of pure hatred.

" _ **HE SAYS I BETRAYED HIM! BUT I ONLY WANTED WHAT WAS RIGHT FOR THE ANGELS! HE BETRAYED US FOR THOSE RETARDED FUCKING INBRED FUCKING APES!**_ "

He inhaled deeply, and exhaled. He had returned to his normal appearance. " _Anyway, I'll tell you why I called you down here._ " From out of thin air, he produced thirteen objects: eight cellphones, a tear-stained piece of paper, a digital video camera, a notebook, a slightly charred scroll, and an audio recorder.

" _Six of their users have already died, but that doesn't matter. You've proven that you can raise the dead, given the right circumstances. And you know how this kind of thing works._ "

" _Sir...what are you scheming?_ "

Lucifer smiled and laughed. " _An interesting game._ " He turned towards Murmur. " _But I don't need you to raise them now. I'll let you know when the time is right. Run along, now. You have a big day ahead of you, 'Mr. Matthews'._ "

Murmur walked back upstairs. Lucifer stared calmly at the darkness above him. He grinned.

" _Fuck you, Michael._ "

His grin grew wider. " _And fuck you, Gabriel. Fuck you, Raphael, you pointless bitch. Fuck you, Uriel. Fuck you, Eve, you big fat fuckin' cunt. Fuck you, Adam, and all your dead brats alongside you. Fuck you, Mary. Fuck YOU, Jesus, you pussy- the Romans did us ALL a favor when they crucified your fucking ass. Fuck you, Lucifuge, and fuck you, Belial. A lot of use you two pricks turned out to be._"

His grin grew even wider. It looked almost painful. " _Fuck you, Deus. I ain't finished with you yet, not by a long way._ "

He sighed. " _And when I get to Sakurami, I'll tell them fuck you too._ "

Murmur walked back down to the first floor. As he was about to leave the house, Bael called out to him.

" _Hey, Murmur, you're a music demon, right?_ "

" _Yeah, why?_ "

" _We got a karaoke machine set up in the corner. Why don't you try it out?_ "

" _Sorry, guys, but I got somewhere to be._ "

" _Aw, come on, Murmur!_ "

" _Yeah, come on, man!_ " said Moloch. " _Give us a song!_ "

Murmur laughed. He sighed. " _Alright, alright, one song, but that's it!_ "

He walked over to the karaoke machine. He grabbed the microphone. " _Alright, here's Wonderwall._ "

The crowd of archdemons booed.

" _Kidding, kidding!_ " He raised the mic up to his face. " _You folks wanna know why they call it the Devil's music?_ "

The crowd cheered. The music started to play, and Murmur began to sing:

" _Well, folks, I'm goin' down to St. James Infirmary_

 _To see my little baby there!_

 _She's stretched out on a long white table!_

 _Well, she looks so good, so cold, so fair!_ "

The crowd clapped and the cheering grew louder.

" _Let her go, let her go, God bless her_

 _Wherever she may be_

 _You may search this whole wide world over_

 _But you'll never find another sweetheart like me, yeah!_ "

The demons drank, laughed, cheered, and clapped. Murmur was loving the attention.

" _Take apart your bones and put 'em back together!_

 _Tell your mama that you're somebody new!_

 _Feel the breeze blowin', tell 'em all, 'Look out, here it comes!'_

 _Now I can say whatever I feel like to you!_ "

Murmur had begun dancing at this point, and the crowd loved it.

" _Then get me six craps-shootin' pallbearers!_

 _Let a chorus girl sing me a song!_

 _Put a red-hot jazz band at the top, so that we can raise_

 _Hallelujah as we go along, well!_ "

Focalor briefly appeared and threw a beer bottle at Murmur before vanishing. Murmur caught it and drank some, much to the approval of the crowd.

" _Well, folks, now that you have heard my story_

 _Say, boy, hand me another shot of that rye!_

 _And if anyone else should ask you_

 _Just tell 'em I've got some of those St. James Infirmary blues!_ "

The crowd clapped and shouted for more. Murmur smiled.

Maybe he could stay for just one more song.


	45. And After All, You're My Wonderwall

Yomotsu sat down on the couch across from Satsuki. He was wearing his usual outfit: skintight black spandex, with a white linen bag tied around his head. The bag had a symbol of a bloodshot eye on it, with red "veins" and a black "pupil" in the center.

"Mr. Hirasaka, please state your age and birthday."

"Thirty-six and April 27, 1980."

"Thank you. Why have you decided to run for deputy mayor?"

"Well, Satsuki, I've lived in Sakurami all my life. I've seen more injustice than I can believe. For Christ's sake, teenagers now need guns to protect themselves." He sighed. "You know, I've always believed that the world was never a safe place, but it's even less safe today. I want to help make a change to our city's judicial system. No parole. Ever."

"I see. You mentioned this city's gun problem. Are you a supporter of gun control?"

"No," he replied without hesitation.

"That's surprising. Why not?"

"Frankly, it doesn't work. Criminals don't get guns legally. They simply steal them or buy them from other criminals. Not naming names, but I think you know who I'm talking about."

Karyuudo opened the door to his room, poked his head out and glared at him for a few seconds, and went back in, closing the door.

"What are your opinions on the criminal accusations being thrown at the other Diary Holders on Ms. Kasugano's side? Inspector Kurusu has been accused of police brutality in the past, Ms. Kasugano herself has had both drug possession and underage drinking accusations, and we can't forget the Observer Incident."

Yomotsu paused, surprised by this sudden attack on his friends. He quickly regained his composure and replied.

"There is no evidence for the accusations against either Keigo or Tsubaki, and Aru was mentally ill at the time of the Observer Incident."

"So you're saying that if I went into Tsubaki's room, I wouldn't find any illegal drugs or alcohol?"

"Yes. And if you were to go into her room, that would be against the law."

"...Alright. There are also the more serious accusations against other members of your team."

"Like what?"

"In 2008, ten teenagers, five boys and five girls, went missing. Their bodies were found sometime later, all violently mutilated. At the time, all ten students were attending Sakurami High School. Also attending were Marco Ikusaba and Ai Mikami. When the police interviewed the students of the school, a recurring theme was that the girls were bullying Ms. Mikami, and that the boys were dating them."

"Satsuki, if you're implying what I think you are, let me remind you that no evidence was found connecting either Marco or Ai to the murders."

"Alright. What about the fire at the Omekata Temple? Thirty people died, and Tsubaki admitted to starting the fire-"

"That was ruled as self-defense."

"Okay, what about the murders of Saika and Ushio Gasai?"

"What about them?"

"There are some people who feel that Yuno Gasai might have-"

"Those people are wrong. And I thought this interview was about me?"

"It is, I'm just-"

"Trying to slander my friends."

In Yuki and Yuno's room, Yuki had overheard Satsuki's comment.

"That bitch! Yuno, where's my gun?"

Yuno gently put her hand on Yuki's shoulder. "Yuki, I can take care of myself. And you can't just shoot people on TV!" She was silent for a minute, and started to speak again. "Baby, I love you. But you gotta stop being so impulsive, it'll get you in trouble one day."

"...Fine. I'm sorry."

Yuno hugged him. "It's okay."

In John's room, he was nervously looking at his watch. "Goddammit! Where is that fucking midget sandnigger?!" He remembered that his Diary, a highly-advanced tablet, had a video chat function. He wondered if it could connect to Murmur's phone.

In the living room, Satsuki was talking into the camera. "Well, that's all the time we have for Mr. Hirasaka's interview, but don't go away!"

"Shit!" muttered John under his breath, as he tried to connect to Murmur's phone. "Shit, shit, shit, shit, shit!"

"Up next, out interview with John Bacchus' choice for deputy mayor: Marcus Matthews!"

"COME ON, YOU FUCKING TRANNY FAGGOT!"

Back in Hell, Murmur was still doing karaoke.

" _Okay, for real now, though. Here's Wonderwall._ "

The other demons groaned, but were interrupted by his phone ringing. " _Who the fuck?_ " He took out his phone and turned on video chat.

"GET THE FUCK UP HERE!" shouted John.

" _Fuck, alright! Damn._ " Murmur turned off his phone and put it away. " _Sorry, everyone! Eleventh wants me up there._ "

He disappeared and everyone celebrated not having to listen to Wonderwall. From that day on, John Bacchus was considered a hero in Hell.

Back in John's room, Murmur appeared, and was about to shapeshift into his human disguise, but they were interrupted by Satsuki out in the living room.

"Oh my God! Ladies and gentleman, I'm sorry, but we'll have to cancel the rest of today's interviews. A freak hurricane is forming off the coast of Florida, and is headed this way!"

Satsuki and the cameraman left the house, got in their news van, and drove away. John turned to Murmur. "Did you have anything to do with that?"

" _I think I did,_ " he replied. Fucking Focalor.

"You can go back to whatever you were doing."

" _No, I'm good. Demons really don't like listening to Wonderwall._ "

"Yeah, me neither. I mean, it's not that it's a bad song, it's just so overdone."

Tsubaki knocked on the door. "Hey, dipshit! Open up!"

Murmur disappeared and John opened the door.

"Let me guess, you paid the bitch to piss me and Yomotsu off so we'd look bad?"

"Surprisingly, no. Reporters really are just that awful."


	46. Ganger's Paradise

Note: This chapter is set on Earth-YY-1 (the Yuru Yuri universe). If you want context, read chapter 41 and Kill La Kill: Season 2 chapters 41, 42, and 46.

The Song And Dance Man looked at Ganger suspiciously. After a bit of thinking, he asked him something.

"How do you know who we are?"

"Oh, that's easy," replied Ganger. "I read your minds."

He turned towards Dr. Inumuta. "Y'know, Glasses, you look familiar. You see..." He paused, stroked his chin, and continued. "Well, actually, it's too complicated to explain right now. You probably wouldn't understand."

Inumuta glared at him. "I think I'm smart enough to understand whatever you tell me, child. I'm a psychiatrist."

"I know. Like I said, I read your mind. And I'll have you know, I'm fifteen. Anyway, I've decided that I'll help you with taking over this universe. It seems like fun!" Ganger laughed. "Oh, and what a fine July day to murder children!"

The Song And Dance Man would have smiled, if his mouth had been showing. "It certainly is! I-" He paused. "Wait. Did you say _July?_ "

"Yeah. July, 2017. Not when I came here, but that's what the month is now."

"...We came here in AUGUST, 2016! WE'VE BEEN HERE A DAY!"

The Song And Dance Man snapped his fingers, causing a folder to materialize out of thin air. He flipped through it. "Holy fuck, we time-skipped."

"We what?" asked Inumuta, confused. He was knowledgeable in many things, but time wasn't one of them.

The Song And Dance Man sighed. The folder disappeared. "This universe's time works differently than our universes'. The fourth wall is exceptionally thin here as well. Let's just do what we need to do and go. This place is freaking me out."

"You go on ahead," said Ganger. "I'll be with you in a minute."

The Song And Dance Man, Dr. Inumuta, and poor young Chinatsu (who was rather traumatized at this point) walked down the hallway. Ganger went into the back of the classroom. He lay down on a desk, staring up at the ceiling.

"Another child died today, Yuno. He was terrified. In that moment, I wished I could merge with his fear and slip into a saccharine foreverscream. But this is my duty. Yuno, have you stopped swallowing that cyanide? Have you ever looked in that box? When was the last time you tasted what you were swallowing? You shuffling, bumbling, crusty, dumb fuck bitch, Yuno. If I pelted you with rocks, who would hear the dumb screams? If I set myself on fire and smothered you, who would die first? You're a tumor, Yuno, but Deus made cancer, just like he made cyanide, except I bought the cyanide. Does that make me more than a man?"

As Ganger's madness and memories surfaced, he continued his vile ranting.

"They called you a 'psychopath', but they will never drink from the fat and rotten juices, they are unfit to be in the Kingdom Of Heaven And Hell, Yuno. You are cut from the nape of the Earth, you little bitch," he said. His voice was calm, almost nostalgic.

"You stumble home drunk and your bits are all cut away. Did you let someone get to them? Did you snip them off yourself? You won't tell me. Instead, you sit in front of the television, sagging and staring at a romantic comedy. Your bits are still bleeding. Chunks soak into the upholstery. You'll be fine tomorrow, Yuno."

He smiled.

"You live here, Yuno. You are in between the walls and the beams, but you live here. I breathe you in, sometimes. It makes me remember innocence. I scream and shake outside of the shower. I try to step in, but I slip on a contraceptive. I catch a glimpse of you on the way down, just outside of the door frame. Your smile all pus and burn scars. Whose face will it be tomorrow? Yuno, I am your keeper."

He sat up and looked out the window. Chinatsu's classmates were staring at the white dome the Song And Dance Man had created around the schoolyard. He noticed one girl in particular: Yui, a tomboy with short, dark hair. She reminded Ganger of himself, back when he was still Yuki.

"A thousand shifting fever dreams couldn't molest my love and hate for you, Yuno. It runs through the wires, and the cogs, and the paper cuts, and the rabbit costume. It died a year ago. It's pumped up again from a rotten river bottom and vomited onto naked little bodies. Can I remove myself from its fate?"

Ganger laughed sickeningly. It sounded like a cat choking.

"They pick at you like a great big feast. Yuno, your bulbous thoughts were always clear. I just didn't want to hear. But now, it doesn't matter. Now, you will see tomorrow. A thousand million living things melted for you. A hundred thousand writhing tongues coming from you. It's a wonderful world and this is all that there is. Tell me you're happy, you foul, diseased slut. Tell me to sleep."

He stared at the children. A blonde girl, who he recognized from Chinatsu's memories as her friend, Kyouko, cried. She knew that none of the girls would survive the horrors that were hunting them. Yui comforted her.

"Strive for your next breath, you rotting cunt. Believe that with it you can do more than with the last one. Use your breath to power your capacities: capacity to hate, to kill, to destroy."

The girls were speaking to a woman about what to do. Her name was Nana, and she was their science teacher. Ganger thought it strange that they called her by her first name.

"And just where did your capacities come from, Yuno? Why did you always go where I wanted and did what I said, with a grumble in your wake and a hiss of incompetence with each step you took?"

A red-haired girl, Akari, was standing a few meters away from the others. They didn't even seem to notice. Her eyes were dull and unhappy.

"Perhaps you're just running a fool's errand, doing everything as I've planned, never able to change your course. You would do well to believe that I know it isn't much unlike how you can't change your course of thought - being 'Yukiii' after 'Yukiii' - just as I can't decipher the chaotic motion of your thought process for each bubble that comes to par, motions against me - your valued lover - for a choice circumstance."

Two girls, Sakurako and Himawari, were talking about something. Ganger couldn't hear what it was, but he suspected it had something to do with their feelings towards each other.

"Or, perhaps, that is not the case."

Ganger clenched his teeth. His "breathing", for lack of a better term for the hissing that would occasionally come from his mouth, became faster and more erratic.

"Perhaps, you are doing what you were meant to do. Your animalistic mentality screams for vengeance and thrives on the love that I could hardly endure. I had many times beckoned to you to get a life and find other interests, to love me when necessary, but to always love is your jurisdiction. Did you care about me, or did you use me as an excuse? An excuse to exist in a world where your merits are ill-conceived and nigh impossible for the demands that plague your everyday insane life. A world where violence is only a fit of jealousy. A haze of laughter to come, but you and I both know what truly you wish for in that abrasion of what is normality."

Two silver-haired twin girls, Chitose and Chizuru, embraced each other.

"Your brothers and sisters, your fellow orphans, are constantly fighting for life on the streets outside. Every breath, every motion brings them one instant closer to their death. With that kind of heritage and destiny, how can you deny yourself? How can you expect yourself to give up violence?"

A purple-haired girl, Ayano, joined Yui in comforting Kyouko.

"It is our nature."

Another dark-haired girl, a slightly older one named Rise, was looking up at Nana. It was clear that she loved her.

"Did you feel free, Yuno?"

Nana had said something to the girls that had calmed them down somewhat.

"Yuno, if I removed your head, would it float in water? And in formaldehyde, just as well? Would you tell me you loved me with holes all through your jaw? Would you undulate a sickly hate for those who would take me away from you out from beneath those shimmering puncture wounds? In spite of the answers, I am luculent. You, Yuno, are the one who's mad. Gone from pure insanity to a thin mask of normalcy, a mockery of child and woman. Your eardrum-piercing 'Yukiii's leaking into open air like mustard gas, making me question the meanings of love and hate. Now I know they are two sides of the same cyanide pill."

Ganger sat up. He had an idea. He got off the desk. His bones cracked as they shrunk in size. He didn't feel pain anymore.

"They stretched your hide across the Earth out of a wretched love for you. It tore at the seams but never ripped apart, covering me like a child, over and over. Through the folds I saw your infinite faces snarling and laughing. My tormentor. My play pet. At the precipice of the elevator, in school bombings past and future, I reached out for you. I grasped your bubbling silhouette, bathed in a roar of lustful flame. And I recognized dimly that somewhere nearby, yet also insurmountable, I did not make this choice."

His hair grew out and turned pink. His clothes, formerly a sleeveless white shirt and black pants, changed into a schoolgirl's uniform. He now looked exactly like Chinatsu.

"In spite of that, Yuno, I want to ask you," he said in Chinatsu's voice. "Do you bleed?"

Note: Readers who browse /co/ might realize that Ganger's rant was a parody of a certain creepy Garfield thread~


	47. Succ, Cum, Piss

Note: This chapter is set on Earth-2, roughly three months after Focalor created the hurricane.

In an apartment near the outskirts of Sakurami City, a man in a white lab coat was typing on a laptop. He looked around at his companions, men who normally wore combat gear and were armed to the teeth, who were now joking around and playing Poker. The man sighed. Was he the only one who cared about what was going on here?

It had been almost a year since they were unexpectedly thrown into this reality. Really, he should have known something strange was going to happen when instead of a "normal" anomalous object appearing at the site in Tennessee, a guy who spoke Latin showed up out of thin air.

He still wondered why they were sent to Japan, of all places, and not an alternate reality's Tennessee. He theorized that it had something to do with all of the anomalous activity happening in Sakurami. It could also have had something to do with the man, a researcher, being Japanese himself (with some British ancestry on his mother's side).

The last thing the researcher remembered is that he and his companions were escorting a unit of MTF Sigma-66 to the Tennessee site in order to pick up their new recruit, the Latin-speaking man. There was a flash of light, and suddenly they were in an alley in Sakurami. MTF Sigma-66 and the Latin-speaking man were nowhere to be found.

He hoped that the MTF and the Latin-speaking man (they never learned his name) were still in their reality, where they were supervised. Of course, the researcher learned a long time ago that most hope was false. He never understood why his superiors thought making a Mobile Task Force comprised of captured members of various Groups Of Interest was a good idea. If they were in this reality, and if they were all together, then it was possible that the GOC member they had recruited had killed the other members of the unit.

But probably not. Again, the researcher had a philosophy of false hope.

He began to look over the document he had typed up:

 **Proposed Item #: SCP-4000**

 **Proposed Object Class: Safe**

 **Proposed Special Containment Procedures** : SCP-4000-01-A, -02-A, -03-A, -04-A, -05-A, -06-A, -07-A, -08-A, -09-A, -10-A, -11-A, -12-A, and -13-A (collectively referred to as "Future Diaries") are to be kept in a standard Safe-class object locker, and are to be monitored by at least one armed guard at all times.

SCP-4000-01-B, -02-B, -03-B, -04-B, -05-B, -06-B, -07-B, -08-B, -09-B, -10-B, -11-B, -12-B, and -13-B (collectively referred to as the "Diary Holders") are to be kept in separate standard humanoid containment cells and fed regularly.

 **Description:** The Future Diaries are, as the name implies, thirteen (13) diaries that predict the future through varying methods. Surveillance on the Diary Holders' house (SCP-4006-01) has revealed the following information:

 **SCP-4000-01-A:** Also referred to as the "Random Diary", SCP-4000-01-A is a cellphone in the possession of SCP-4000-01-B. SCP-4000-01-A details current and future events of the surroundings of SCP-4000-01-B. It is based on SCP-4000-01-B's thoughts; in other words, SCP-4000-01-B only sees what he considers to be a possible future, rather than the objective future if he has not considered it to be possible. It does not tell SCP-4000-01-B of what will happen to him specifically, only what will happen around him.

 **SCP-4000-02-A:** Also referred to as the "Yukiteru Diary", SCP-4000-02-A is a cellphone in the possession of SCP-4000-02-B. SCP-4000-02-A details current and future events relevant to SCP-4000-01-B, updated every ten (10) minutes. It does not tell SCP-4000-02-B of what will happen to her specifically, unless it is relevant to SCP-4000-01-B.

 **SCP-4000-03-A:** Also referred to as the "Murder Diary", SCP-4000-03-A is a cellphone in the possession of SCP-4000-03-B. SCP-4000-03-A details the current locations and names of people that SCP-4000-03-B will murder. It does not tell SCP-4000-03-B of his victims' future actions.

 **SCP-4000-04-A:** Also referred to as the "Criminal Investigation Diary", SCP-4000-04-A is a cellphone in the possession of SCP-4000-04-B. SCP-4000-04-A details all crimes that will be investigated by by SCP-4000-04-B within the next ninety (90) days; in other words, nearly three (3) months. It does not detail the investigations of anyone else, only SCP-4000-04-B.

 **SCP-4000-05-A:** Also referred to as the "Hyper Vision Diary", SCP-4000-05-A is a coloring book in the possession of SCP-4000-05-B. SCP-4000-05-A details all events that will take place during the current day, with three (3) updates being given at once in the same day. The first update will consist of the events that will happen between 12:00 AM and 11:59 AM, the second will consist of the events that will happen at 12:00 PM, and the third will consist of events that will happen between 12:01 PM and 11:59 PM. SCP-4000-05-B must wait until the next day for any more updates.

 **SCP-4000-06-A:** Also referred to as the "Clairvoyance Diary", SCP-4000-06-A is a scroll in the possession of SCP-4000-06-B. SCP-4000-06-A details all current events witnessed by members of the Omekata Cult (note: this currently only applies to SCP-4000-07-B, SCP-4000-08-B, and Orin Miyashiro; see SCP-4000-06-B's entry and SCP-4006-03 for more details). Updates are subjective, based on what the cult members believe they are seeing, rather than what they are actually seeing. As there are many former members of the Omekata Cult still alive who are no longer affected by SCP-4000-06-A, it is possible that members were only affected due to having a close relationship with SCP-4000-06-B; when the cult was disbanded, SCP-4000-06-B continued her relationships with SCP-4000-07-B, SCP-4000-08-B, and Orin Miyashiro, explaining how they are still affected.

 **SCP-4000-07-A:** Also referred to as an "Exchange Diary", SCP-4000-07-A is a cellphone in the possession of SCP-4000-07-B. SCP-4000-07-A details future events that will happen to SCP-4000-08-B.

 **SCP-4000-08-A:** Also referred to as an "Exchange Diary", SCP-4000-07-A is a cellphone in the possession of SCP-4000-08-B. SCP-4000-08-A details future events that will happen to SCP-4000-07-B.

 **SCP-4000-09-A:** Also referred to as the "Blog Diary", SCP-4000-09-A is a server that can be accessed by a laptop in the possession of SCP-4000-09-B. Unlike the other Future Diaries, it has no precognitive abilities; instead, it can create "Apprentice Diaries", which are Future Diaries that are not connected to their users, unlike Future Diaries. It is unknown how SCP-4000-09-B came into possession of this knowledge; the possibility of Apprentice Diaries already existing is one theory, and will eventually be looked in to.

 **SCP-4000-10-A:** Also referred to as the "Escape Diary", SCP-4000-10-A is a cellphone in the possession of SCP-4000-10-B. SCP-4000-10-A details any necessary escape route available to SCP-4000-10-B and how to utilize the escape route.

 **SCP-4000-11-A:** Also referred to as the "Breeder Diary", SCP-4000-11-A is a cellphone in the possession of SCP-4000-11-B. SCP-4000-11-A has the ability to control any Canis lupus familiaris (domestic dog) and details future events relevant to the controlled dog(s). While the control ability is based on concentration (in other words, one dog can be controlled completely, while many dogs can be controlled only slightly unless the user is significantly mentally disciplined), the number of dogs it can control seems to be unlimited.

 **SCP-4000-12-A:** Also referred to as the "Watcher", SCP-4000-12-A is a tablet in the possession of SCP-4000-12-B. SCP-4000-12-A details all entries in any Diary, including both Future and Apprentice Diaries. It does not detect false entries, making it vulnerable to misinformation. Unlike all other Diaries, it does not state the circumstances of the user's possible death ("Dead End").

 **SCP-4000-13-A:** Also referred to as the "Justice Diary", SCP-4000-12-A is an audio recorder in the possession of SCP-4000-13-B. SCP-4000-13-A details all crimes that SCP-4000-13-B will stop or attempt to stop. It also has the ability to hypnotize people into fitting SCP-4000-13-B's perception of a righteous person.

All Future Diaries have three similarities: the maximum limit of their precognitive abilities is ninety (90) days, or nearly three (3) months; all of them (excluding SCP-4000-12-A) have the ability to warn their users with the phrase "Dead End" if their possible death is imminent; and all of them are connected to their Holders (if the Diary is destroyed, its Holder will die). If the Holder dies before the Diary is destroyed, the Diary will remain functional. Each Diary was given to its Holder by SCP-4003, who used SCP-4000-12-B's technology as a conduit for divine energy, which gave the Diaries their abilities as well as connecting them to their Holders.

The Diary Holders are thirteen (13) people who each possess a Diary:

 **SCP-4000-01-B:** Yukiteru Amano, also known as "First", "Yuki", and "Y2K", is a fifteen (15) year old Japanese male, with British ancestry from both parents. He has black hair, blue eyes, is 5'3'' (161 cm) tall, and weighs 117 lbs (53 kg). SCP-4000-01-B has an insecure, impulsive, and generally rude personality. He is highly protective of SCP-4000-02-B. He has an average IQ. He is currently the boyfriend of SCP-4000-02-B. He has attempted to kill SCP-4000-02-B's parents, due to their abuse of SCP-4000-02-B; could become dangerous if SCP-4000-02-B is contained before he is. Could possibly be contained using his mother and SC-4000-02-B as hostages.

 **SCP-4000-02-B:** Yuno Gasai, also known as "Second", is a fifteen (15) year old Japanese female. She has pink hair, pink eyes (both seemingly natural; as nobody has commented on this being unusual, it can be assumed that this is normal for this universe), is 5'3'' (159 cm) tall, and weighs 108 lbs (49 kg). SCP-4000-02-B has an affable personality, is somewhat socially awkward, and suffers from Borderline Personality Disorder, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder, and schizophrenia. She is protective of SCP-4000-01-B. She has an above-average IQ. She is currently the girlfriend of SCP-4000-01-B. She has killed both of her parents due to their abuse of her; could become dangerous if provoked. Could possibly be contained using SCP-4000-01-B as a hostage. Her nightmares led to the discovery of SCP-4005.

 **SCP-4000-03-B:** Takao Hiyama, also known as "Third" and the "Sakurami Ripper", is a thirty-one (31) year old Japanese male, with British ancestry from both parents. He has auburn hair, green eyes, is roughly 5'7'' (172 cm) feet tall, and weighs roughly 130 lbs (59 kg). SCP-4000-03-B is sadistic, egotistical, and paranoid. He has killed six (6) people, one (1) boy and five (5) women, and has injured one (1) girl. He has previously attempted to kill SCP-4000-01-B, SCP-4000-02-B, SCP-4000-10-B, and SCP-4000-13-B. He has an above-average IQ. Highly dangerous. He has died several times (always due to his own mistakes) and has been resurrected repeatedly by SCP-4002.

 **SCP-4000-04-B:** Keigo Kurusu, also known as "Fourth", is a thirty-one (31) year old Japanese male. He has black hair, hazel eyes,, a light beard, is 6'0'' (183 cm) tall, and weighs 150 lbs (68 kg). SCP-4000-04-B has a calm, stoic personality, and rarely becomes emotionally distressed. As the Chief Inspector of the Sakurami City Police Department, he is trained in firearms, and is to be considered dangerous. Average IQ.

 **SCP-4000-05-B:** Reisuke Houjou, also known as "Fifth" and "Rei", is a five (5) year old Japanese male, with Scottish ancestry from both parents. He has green eyes, red hair, is roughly 3'1'' (94 cm) tall, and weighs roughly 58 lbs (26 kg). While having a somewhat appropriate personality for a child his age, SCP-4000-05-B is occasionally more mature than other young children, which likely developed out of necessity due to his neglectful parents. He has the highest IQ of the Diary Holders, and is to be considered dangerous. He is highly knowledgeable about chemistry, and may be armed with chemical weapons.

 **SCP-4000-06-B:** Tsubaki Kasugano, also known as "Sixth", "Lady Omekata", and the "Sacred Eye", is a fifteen (15) year old Japanese female. She has purple eyes (could be a genetic mutation, acting as a symptom of her nearsightedness), dark blue hair (apparently normal for this universe), is roughly 5'3'' (159 cm) tall, and weighs roughly 80 lbs (36 kg). Unlike the others, she does appear to be anomalous in a separate way from being connected to SCP-4000-06-A; she is addicted to nicotine, alcohol, and multiple illegal drugs, and has had a deliberate overdose at one point, yet seems to suffer no ill effects. This is currently theorized to be a genetic mutation, related to a similar mutation in the DNA of famous musician Ozzy Osbourne. In addition, despite being extremely promiscuous, she has shown no signs of sexually-transmitted infection. It is currently unknown whether this is due to condom usage, or another mutation. She is nearsighted and appears malnourished; she suffers from depression, her aforementioned addictions, and bulimia. She has a somewhat nihilistic personality, although she seems to be becoming gradually more optimistic with the arrival of SCP-4001, her current boyfriend. She has a slightly above-average IQ, and a knowledge of the occult. Likely to be one the more easily captured Diary Holders, unless she manages to utilize her occult knowledge against us. She has killed thirty (30) members of her former cult, as revenge for the killing of her parents and for raping her daily for several years.

 **SCP-4000-07-B:** Marco Ikusuba, also known as "Seventh" (a title shared with his girlfriend, SCP-4000-08-B), is a twenty-five (25) year old Japanese male, with some Italian ancestry on his mother's side. He has brown eyes, brown hair, is roughly 6'0'' (183 cm) tall, and weighs roughly 170 lbs (77 kg). He has an arrogant, energetic personality, and is protective of SCP-4000-08-B. He is skilled in hand-to-hand combat, and has an average IQ. He has killed ten (10) people in the past as revenge for the rape of SCP-4000-08-B, and is to be considered dangerous.

 **SCP-4000-08-B:** Ai Mikami, also known as "Seventh" (a title shared with her boyfriend, SCP-4000-07-B), is a twenty-five (25) year old Japanese female. She has purple eyes (a darker shade than SCP-4000-06-B, therefore not ruling out the nearsightedness symptom theory), dark blue hair (similar to SCP-4000-06-B), is roughly 5'6' (168) cm tall, and weighs roughly 121 lbs (55 kg). She has a kind personality, being one of the more "normal" Diary Holders, and has an average IQ. She is skilled with knives, and is to be considered dangerous.

 **SCP-4000-09-B:** Kamado Ueshita, also known as "Eighth", is a forty-one (41) year old Japanese female. She has green eyes, black hair, is roughly 5'10'' (178) cm tall, and weighs roughly 170 lbs (77 kg). She has a kind, motherly personality, having cared for numerous orphans in the past. She also cares for the younger Diary Holders, especially SCP-4000-05-B. She has an average IQ, and is the only Diary Holder that is not dangerous in any way. She will be the easiest Diary Holder to contain.

 **SCP-4000-10-B:** Minene Uryu, also known as "Ninth", is a twenty-seven (27) year old Japanese female. She has one purple eye (a slightly darker shade than SCP-4000-06-B, and a slightly lighter shade than SCP-4000-08-B; her left eye was destroyed in Incident-4001), purple hair, is 5'6'' (168 cm), and weighs 121 lbs (55 kg). She is a former terrorist, motivated by anti-religious extremism, and has an estimated body count of at least one hundred (100). She has a cynical, impolite, somewhat hostile personality, with several right-wing, anti-Semitic, and Islamophobic views. She has an above-average IQ, suffers from Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder, and is highly skilled in explosives. She is considered to be the most dangerous of the Diary Holders, and will likely be the hardest to contain.

 **SCP-4000-11-B:** Karyuudo Tsukishima, also known as "Tenth", is a forty-six (46) year old Japanese male. He has brown eyes, grey hair, a mustache, is roughly 6'0'' (183 cm) tall, and weighs roughly 150 lbs (68 kg). He has a stoic, borderline sociopathic personality, and is an anarcho-capitalist. He has an average IQ and is dangerous due to SCP-4000-11-A's abilities.

 **SCP-4000-12-B:** John Bacchus, also known as "Eleventh", is a fifty-seven (57) year old Italian male, with some German ancestry on his mother's side. He has grey eyes, is bald, is roughly 5'11'' (180 cm) tall, and weighs roughly 110 lbs (50 kg). He is the former mayor of Sakurami City, and has an elitist, generally unpleasant personality, with several Neo-Nazi views. He has an above-average IQ, and is the top priority for capture due to SCP-4000-12-A's abilities.

 **SCP-4000-13-B:** Yomotsu Hirasaka, also known as "Twelfth", is a thirty-one (31) year old Japanese male, with British ancestry from both of his parents. He has brown eyes (with cataracts), brown hair, is roughly 6'0'' (183 cm) tall, and weighs roughly 130 lbs (59 kg). He has a highly justice-oriented worldview, almost to the point of extremism. He believes that anyone in need should be helped by him, as the judicial system often fails them. He has an average IQ, and is average in hand-to-hand combat. He is believed to have killed six (6) people, each of them while they were in the middle of committing a criminal act.

Each Diary Holder shares the anomalous property of being connected to their Diaries. Live capture of the Holders is recommended, but unnecessary; the Diaries are to be considered top priority. SCP-4000-06-B and SCP-4000-12-B are currently running in the Sakurami mayoral election (see SCP-4007 for more details).

Signed, Dr. Shiro Iori, Level 4 Researcher

Dr. Iori saved the document. His laptop background was the symbol of the organization he worked for - a circle with three arrows pointing inwards.


	48. A Confederacy Of Deities: WE WUZ GODS

Deus was sitting in a massive stone throne inside of his pocket dimension, which he had named the Cathedral Of Causality. The sky, normally light purple, was now a beautiful blue. In front of the throne was a massive stone circle, surrounded by fluffy white clouds. Seven massive bridges were connected to the circle. Each one led to another circle, which each contained several more thrones. In each throne was a god, a representative of their respective pantheons.

Deus began to speak. "For the younger gods among us, and for the older ones whose memories may be failing, I shall introduce you all." This is just gonna be a fuckload of character descriptions, so you can skip ahead if you want.

He gestured to the leftmost throne. Seated in it was a smaller, glowing version of Deus. "Mulungu, god of the Bantu peoples."

To the right of Mulungu was an albino man. "Loko Yima, god of the Kuba peoples."

To the right of Loko Yima were two men (well, two halves of two men), in actuality two parts of the same being: the left side of the throne seated the left half of a short, coal-black man, while the right side seated the right half of a tall albino man. Both half-bodies appeared to be quite elderly. "Adroa, god of the Lugbara people."

To the right of Adroa was an outline in the shape of a man. "Kabezya-Mpungu, god of the Luba people."

To the right of him was a rainbow in the shape of a man, holding a bow made of two snakes. "Khonvoum, god of the Mbuti people."

The the right of him was another smaller version of Deus, except this one had a slightly darker skull and blue eyes. "Nhialic, god of the Dinka people."

To the right of him was a small cloud of clear smoke. "Boorii, god of the Hausa people."

To the right of him was yet another small Deus, except he was bald and wore no clothes, appearing as a giant skeleton. "Ajok, god of the Lotuko people."

To the right of him was a man who was glowing so brightly, nobody could see any details in his face. "Ngai, god of the Maasai people. I am aware that some of you dislike him, as he was once mortal, but I ask that you tolerate his presence. Whatever he was before, he is a god now."

To the right of him was a small Deus with white eyes. "Asis, god of the Kalenjin people."

To the right of him was a small Deus with grey eyes. "Were, god of the Luhya people."

To the right of him was a dark-skinned man in a black robe. "Nyambe, god of the Lozi people. Another mortal that ascended to godhood."

To the right of him was a rainbow. Not a person-shaped rainbow, just a rainbow. "Chiuta, god of the Tumbuka people."

To the right of him was another dark-skinned man, wearing a grey robe. "Unkulunkulu, god of the Zulu people. Yet another ascended mortal."

To the right of him was something that completely contrasted the appearances of the more humanoid gods. It resembled a massive praying mantis, with two long horns on its head, and a serpentine tail connected to its abdomen. Under the tail were several sets of caterpillar-like feet. The mantis' thorax resembled the flattened, clear thorax of a louse. "Cagn, god of the San people."

To the right of him was a giant white spider. "Nyame, god of the Akan people."

To the right of him was another strange humanoid. The left half resembled a woman glowing bright yellow, while the right half resembled a man dimly glowing white. "Mawu-Lisa, god of the Fon people."

To the right of him (or her, or it, or whatever) was a glowing skeleton. "Abassi, god of the Efik people. Another ascended mortal. I believe he was some type of king."

To the right of him was a figure in the rough shape of Deus, but made out of water. "Olokun, god of the Edo people."

To the right of him was the outline of a large man. "Chukwu, god of the Igbo people."

To the right of him was another small Deus, except this one was different. The left half of his body resembled Deus', but the right resembled a more feminine version of Deus. "Roog, god of the Serer people."

To the right of him was a glowing small Deus. "Olodumare, god of the Yoruba people."

To the right of him was a hermaphroditic humanoid, whose stomach was covered in fish-like scales, and who had a piscine tail protruding from the end of its spine. Its skin was green, and its scales glowed with every color of the rainbow. It had a long, boneless neck, and its fingers and toes were webbed, with claws protruding from the tips. "Nommo, god of the Dogon people."

To the right of...it, I guess, was a man with the head of a falcon, with some feathers resembling that of a hawk's. Spiked downward-pointing hair, appearing to be made of lapis lazuli, was growing from the back of his head. A glowing orb was on top of his head, with a golden cobra coiled around it. He had a ram's horn and a bull's horn sprouting from each side of his head, giving him four horns in total. He had six wings: two were that of a beetle, two were the burning wings of a phoenix, and two were that of a white heron. He had a snake's tail, catlike claws growing out of his fingertips, and the paws of a lion instead of feet. His left eye was missing, exposing part of his silver skull. Whatever human-like flesh he did have was golden, and appeared to be aged, like that of a man in his late fifties. "Ra, god of the Egyptians."

To the right of him was another small Deus, with brown eyes. "Ggulu, god of the Gandan people."

To the right of him was another small Deus, whose robes appeared to be made of white chalk. "Oghene, god of the Urhobo people."

To the right of him was another small Deus, with black and green robes. "Zanahary, god of the Malagasy people."

Finally, to the right of him, and to the left of Mulungu, was another small Deus, this one wearing white robes. "And finally, Waaq, god of the Oromo people."

He turned towards the second circle. "Now that we are done with introducing the gods of Africa, let us continue on to the gods of Asia."

The visiting gods groaned unanimously. This was going to be a long meeting.


	49. A Confederacy Of Deities: The New God

Deus sighed. "I think I'm starting to remember why we stopped having these meetings. There's just too damn many of us. Anyway, on to Asia."

" _Dammit, will you just hurry up?!_ " asked Murmur who was sitting next to Deus' throne, eating corn.

"Ah, Matthias, I...forgot why I called you here. Why did I call you here?"

" _I dunno. And what's wrong with your voice?_ "

"My vocal chords aren't what they used to be."

" _You have vocal chords?_ "

"Yes. Also, could you introduce the others for me?"

" _Fine, if I have to._ " Murmur stood up. " _Alright everyone, listen up! I'm gonna call your names, but I'm not saying who you're god of! If you wanna know that badly, Google it!_ "

He pointed to the second circle. " _Vajradhara, Samantabhadra, Vairocana, Tian, Zeus, Brahman, Indra, Thirumal, Acintya, Antaboga, Dyeus Phater, Xucau, Ahura Mazda, Tabiti, Allah, Amaterasu, Konjin, Cheonjiwang, Bathala, Gugurang, Kaptan, Kadaw La Sambad, Buni, Mangechay, Melu, Maguimba, Ampu, Magbabaya, Anlabban, Tulus, Mahal Na Makaako, Bagatulayan, Nanolay, Mah-nongan, Abal, Gutugutumakkan, Kabunian, Ilu, Ashur, Marduk, Enlil, Hubal, Udan, Buga, Tengri, Ilmarinen, the Four Immortals, Kumarbi...fuck it, you all know who you are._ _This is retarded._ "

He turned towards Deus. " _By the way, who's supposed to be sitting there?"_ He pointed to the empty seventh circle, which contained only a single throne.

Just as he had finished that sentence, the room grew completely silent. A swirling black portal appeared in front of the empty throne. From out of it stepped a tall, dark-skinned man dressed as an ancient Egyptian pharaoh. He sat down on the throne as the portal disappeared.

"Sͨ̃̋͏҉̘͔̹̻o͓͎͖̭͎̮̼͐ͧͭ̈́͗ͭͮr͂̈́͊ͪ͂ͤͣͣ҉̻̖̣̻͕̦̜͟ͅṙ̴̡̝͙̟̙̎̉̀͜y̫̖͚͔̖̖ͭ̔ͩ͌̐͊̄͟͡ ̡̤̮̺̝͇̙͍̣̹ͧ̓͌͝I̴͈̥̹̟͒̽̌ͮ͒̍ͨͧ'̵̶̲̗̲̣̟̺̠͉ͬ͊̓̊m̶͔̥̩͆̊̇́͆͘ ̗̱̲̣̮̫̲̏̉͂̐l͙̪̠͛ͯͣ̌̐͊͑͑̾͠͠͝a̮̠̽ͮ͐̓͑ͭͣ̒̒͜͝t̛͑ͧ̍̇ͬ҉̺̰̗̤͖̜ȅ̸̜̱̹̮͙̠͔͍͝ͅ.ͫ̒͠͡҉̣̜͓̣̪̠"

The man cleared his throat. "Sorry I'm late. My apologies for that, not using that accent takes some getting used to. Unfortunately, my father couldn't make it, with his...condition, so I came instead. I'll admit, this is my first time meeting any of you, so I got a bit lost. But I'm here now, so let's get started." He smiled. "Deus, I believe you and Murmur were introducing us all?"

" _It was stupid, so I stopped._ "

"Oh, of course. Yes, we all know each other's names. But if we know each other's names...why did Deus have us introduced?" He looked directly at Deus, his smile never once fading. "You know, they say the mind is the first thing to go."

" **Why are you even here?** " asked a humanoid figure that appeared to be carved out of the daytime sky itself.

The pharaoh turned towards him. "Dyeus Phater, the firstborn. How does it feel knowing that all of your worshipers died out millennia ago?"

" **Watch your tongue, fraud!** "

"I'm sorry, have I touched a nerve, oh almighty god of cavemen?"

" **At least I am a true god! You are but a figment of one mortal's nightmares!** "

"Well, give poor old Howie some credit. His work was so influential that it spawned a pantheon. Who else can say that?"

" **He could have at least had some originality in naming you,** " said Ra.

The pharaoh glared at him. "And do you mean by that, Big Bird?"

" **You are named after my people. You even dress like them!** " The visiting gods laughed at the pharaoh.

The pharaoh clenched his teeth. A look of pure rage was on his face. He nearly stood up, but decided to remain seated. He breathed in and out deeply, closing his eyes. His smile returned. He opened his eyes and looked at Ra for several seconds until he finally spoke:

"P̷̬̘͍͕̮̭͆ͪ͑̊̎̃̉̏ͤ́͠e̡̳͍͓͋ͤ͋͌r̷̛͎̤̟̠͇͉̫̲ͯ̍ͧ̋̐́ḧ̷̸̟̬ͨ͒͒̄a̙̪̻͈̜̯̗͊ͬ̊̌͒̄p̦̮̭͈͒̈́͆̇ͬ̔s̓ͭ̅̄͊͌̂͏͖͎̫̪̼̤̲ͅ ̄̍̑̈͂̿ͧ͘҉̻̭̺̰͟y̝ͣ̃ō̧̨͕̞̝̤͔̲̒ͮ̊̊ͩ̎͠ͅu͇̩̓̇ͬͧͪ'̝̠̻̬͚̯̯̎͐ͪ͊ͨ̅͝d͍̻̤̞̤̞͐̈́ͧ̊ͪ͆͘͟ ̆͏̥l̷̦͎̬̹̖̈̒ͫ̃̇̒̓̈́̀ȉ̫͔̝͍̹̝͍̖̅ͧk̶͔̫̗̪̩̤͆ͣ̔̐̄̎͊̅̄͞e̫͔͍͖̺̜͚ͬ̋̀͊̏ ̫̘͙̞̘̭̊ͨͩ͡à͑̃͌̇ͧ̚̕̕҉͔̪̘̲͙ ̱̪̭̯͕ͦͭ͋͒ͭ̾̄d̘͇̭͚̫ͫ͟ī̛̘͇̙̱̬͇̦͉̝̀̍̊̕f̱̭̲͉͚̅͂ͯ͒͊̈̀ͫ͞f̰̠̳̟̣̦̼̺ͯ͠e̯̥̺͚ͦ͑ͫ̏ͮ̿̀͠r̪͖̘͇̬̱̿̅̒ͤͤ̓̓̑ͣ́ȇ̢̦̤͌̊̆̽ͨͫͥͬň̵̯̩̖͕̫̖̯̃̄͊ͩͅt͇̰̩̟̭̲̮̟̾̅ ̣̬̑͂ͮͬ͘͞͝f͉̍̈̂̒̇̋ͦ̓o̔̑͗͋ͯ͠ͅr̺̹͍̓͆ͥͭͦͬ̑́̚ṃ̳̦ͯ̑̄͡?̶̡̡̜̟̹͌̈͒͆̋̽̋̚̚"

The pharaoh jumped up from his throne. His nose cracked as it sunk into his face, forming a massive hole above his mouth. His teeth grew into sharp fangs, too big for his mouth. His arms cracked and crunched as they extended to four times the length of his body. His legs did the same as they extended to twice the length of his body.

To the horror of the other gods, the pharaoh's monstrous transformation continued. His fingers each grew to half the size of his arms, while his toes became sharp, serrated claws. His stomach bulged, as if he had been impregnated by some foul, diseased abomination.

The sky grew dark as the webbing in his fingers grew to sickening lengths, completing the transformation of his arms into horrific bat-like wings. The pharaoh's outfit melted into his skin as black fur erupted all over his body. A small, triangular tail grew out of the base of his spine. His ears became triangular as well, while his head grew larger to stretch the skin between his mouth and the hole where his nose and eyes used to be. A repugnant, pig-like nose grew out of the new area on his face.

The monster towered over the other gods in the room. It now resembled a massive black bat. A red, flaming eye filled the hole that was on his face. It resembled three eyeballs fused together. The pharaoh had finally completed his transformation.

"I̬̪̫̱̟̘̍̑̑̎ͥ̉ͦͨ ̰̩̖̤̪͉̰̖̾ͧ̋͌͝Wͭͣ̏҉̰̱̩͚Į̜͈̠̻͙̺͎̩̹̃͑͆̃̐ͤͪ͘͟L̦͈̯͇̫͗ͯ̕L̷̙̙̞̟̜͗͑̍ ̧͚͖̖ͬ̋̔̆̒͠Şͨ̉͗̏̍̇̀ͮ҉͉̪͚̬͚̜̦̪͕H̶͙͔̠̩̠̰̪̹̽̍͋̓́ͥƠ̧̡̞̭͕̯̰̹̙̒̈̑W̨̓ͧ̓͆̽͏̫̝ ̤̤͉̼̱̓͆͢Y̡͚̱͎͙̦̬̏̅ͬ̊̿ͮ͢Ǫ̵̠̭̠̼̂́͜U̒҉̴̼̟͓̘̺́ ̸̵̡̒̑̋̄̄̊̓̒ͅT̛͈̽̎͂̽̒̚Ḩ̧̯͍̰͙̜̅̾̀̎̋̈́͗͝E̶̠̯̺̤̹̭ͨͮͪ̌ͮ̿̆͌̇͠ͅ ̲̭̜̠̲͚̟̑̂͒̒T͕̫̱̣ͭ̽ͤR̡͕̪̾ͨ̃̚U͇̪ͯ̈́̋ͩ̊Ȩ̧͍̗̫̎̿͢ ͕̙̃̌̏͋ͩͪ͌͜P̛̺̾̔̐Ő̖W̏̾̔͐ͮͮ̔͒͘͢ͅĘ̺̣̎̃ͫ͝R̅͐̽ͩ͡͠͏͉͔̤̬̫̟ ̑̔͛͗ͨ́͂҉̸͘ͅO̢̧̤̬̟̳̰̓̽́̃F͉͙͇͖͇͔ͬ̔̆͐̑ͭͣ̚͡ ͮͨ̒͋̇͘͜҉̣͖̥̭͚̳ͅT̞̠̜͓͔͛ͭ̃̔̾͘͘H̄͒̀͏͚͍̣̼̪E͈͕̖͒̍̚ ͩ̃̽ͪ̊̓ͦ͢͏̘̣̕C̷̛̗̦̥͔̝̱͐̒̔̒̄R̯͇ͭͩ̂̃ͦ̚͘͠A̝͛͂͠͞W̖̼͕̫͓ͤͮ͋ͤ̍͋̚Ļ͔̪̫͕̥͓̆͆̋ͫͭ̔́I̯̻̋͒ͦͧN̸̘̗͙̜̫̗͇ͤG̺̝̭̦ͧ̑̏ͭ̽̀ͩͅ ̴̜̬̠͙̺͓͕́͒̎̎́͟C͋̅̒̋̒̍͛ͭ̋̀҉͚͓͈̻̱̰ͅH̻͚͓͉̩̩̓͆̃̽́ͯ̕͞A̶̪̱̯̍̅̈͑̾̍͋͞ͅȎ̧̝̣̘̗̄ͨ͟S̴̨͚̖̰̦͖͋͊̉͆̚̕!̦̳̙̯̻̖̥̊̑͌̀͡ͅ"

" **ENOUGH!** " shouted Deus.

The bat turned to look at him.

" **I created the dimensions of this universe to prevent exactly this from happening! I knew you were all greedy, spoiled brats the moment I saw you! I thought that if I gave each of you a dimension to rule over, you could all be the gods of this universe while the humans remained unaffected! THE LAST THING WE NEED RIGHT NOW IS INFIGHTING!** "

The other gods patiently waited for what he had to say next.

" **Dyeus and Ra, Nyarlathotep is a god like any one of you, and you WILL show him some respect! And Nyarlathotep, you will SIT. DOWN. RIGHT. NOW.** "

The sky became bright once again. The bat was gone, with Nyarlathotep in his pharaoh form sitting in his form.

" **I have called you all here to inform you that the rumors are true. I have chosen the Diary Holders as my successors as the supreme gods of the universe instead of any of you. The reason for this is that you are all selfish, entitled sociopaths, incapable of knowing what this universe truly needs! I, myself, am not exempt from this! Even those among you who were once mortal have forgotten what it feels like!** "

The gods looked at Deus. Some of them were ashamed and embarrassed, while most were silently enraged.

" **The Diary Holders may be flawed, some more than others, but even the worst one of them is better than all of you COMBINED!** "

Back on Earth, Takao was in his room watching Criminal Minds. He looked towards the sky suspiciously for a few seconds, as if he had heard something, and went back to watching TV.

Back in the Cathedral, Deus had finished his speech. He waved his hand across the room, and all of the gods disappeared. The sky had returned to its natural purple.

" _So,_ " asked Murmur, " _were you just faking the 'helpless old man' act so your speech would have more effect?_ "

Deus didn't look at him, but Murmur could swear that he saw the slightest hint of a smile on his face. " **Wheels within wheels, Matthias,** " he said. " **Wheels within wheels.** "


	50. Deepest Lore

Aru was dreaming again. He was in front of a large metal cage in the Dark Room. Inside of it was someone sitting on a stone chair. He looked exactly like him, with one exception: his red eyes were replaced with a glowing white. The Observer looked up at Aru.

" **Let** me **out.** "

"Never."

"I'll **get** out **eventually.** We **both** know **that.** Just **stop** wasting **our** time **and** let **me** out."

"No."

The Observer looked at him angrily for a few seconds, and then smiled. " **Your** concentration **is** fading. **I** can **feel** it. **You're** so **focused** on **Tsubaki** and **the** election **that** you **can't** see **that** I'm **getting** stronger **every** day."

"And yet, you're still in there."

The Observer smirked. " **Not** for **long.** You **know,** Aru, **I've** been **thinking.** "

"About what?"

"Myself. **My** purpose. **Without** the **corrupting** influences **of** Deus **and** the **Death** Fiber, **I've** finally **realized** my **true** reason **for** existence."

"And what would that be?"

" **I** am **a** soldier. **A** crusader **in** a **holy** war, **fighting** for **a** true **god.** "

"Which god?"

"Let **me** tell **you** a **story,** Aru. **Billions** of **years** ago, **there** was **a** god **who** lived **so** far **away** from **our** universe, **that** he **didn't** look **like** anything **we** would **know.** Basically, **imagine** a **squid** fucked **a** higher- **order** fractal **and** you **have** a **rough** outline **of** what **he** looked **like.** One **day,** that **god** split **into** two **brothers,** a **light** one **and** a **dark** one. **The** dark **one** mocked **his** brother's **work** , so **the** light **one** trapped **him** in **a** young **universe** and **sealed** him **in** there **with** a **meteor.** The **meteor** broke **and** fell **onto** Earth - **not** our **Earth,** mind **you -** where **it** was **both** worshiped **and** feared **by** early **humans.** "

"But what does that have to do with you?"

"Both **gods** radiated **their** energy **so** much **that** it **crossed** into **our** universe, **during** its **birth.** Imagine **an** infinite **number** of **hydrogen** bombs **exploding** at **once.** I **believe** scientists **refer** to **it** as **the** 'Big **Bang'.** The **energies** gained **form** and **sapience** from **all** of **this.** This **created** Deus **Ex** Machina **and** Rahab, **the** serpent **of** chaos. **Every** Deus **and** every **Rahab** in **our** multiverse **are** simply **reflections** of **the** light **god** and **the** dark **god.** In **half** of **the** universes **in** our **multiverse,** including **ours** and **the** other **Earths** near **us,** which **I** believe **Ganger** informed **Yuno** of **during** that **whole** mess, **Deus** killed **Rahab** and **the** world **was** filled **with** light. **In** the **other** half, **Rahab** killed **Deus** and **the** world **was** filled **with** darkness. **Speaking** of **Ganger** \- and **I'll** talk **about** him **more** in **a** bit - **I** think **he** told **Yuno** about **Traum** visiting **you.** You **only** remember **it** now **because** you're **dreaming.** Since **she** hasn't **mentioned** it, **I'd** say **the** Song **And** Dance **Man** told **him** to **erase** parts **of** that **specific** dream."

"So Ganger's working with the Death Fibers now?"

" **Not** exactly. **Ganger** and **the** Song **And** Dance **Man** are, **by** nature, **creatures** of **chaos.** It **seems** that **their** goals **have** aligned."

"What, exactly, are their current goals?"

" **Omniversal** domination, **sadism** , and **simple** amusement. **The** Master **Of** Puppets **craves** power, **so** he **wishes** to **rule** everything. **Ganger's** just **doing** it **because** he **can.** "

"Bastard."

"Agreed. **Honestly,** he's **just** so **annoying.** I **listened** to **your** conversation **with** him, **and** I **felt** like **tearing** off **my** ears. **Anyway,** now **I'm** going **to** bring **numerology** into **this.** The **number** four **is** important **here:** there **was** the **twilight** god, **the** light **god,** the **dark** god, **and** the **twilight** god **when** he **is** inevitably **made** whole **once** again. **Now,** imagine **the** four **timelines** of **Earth-** 1\. **The** dark **First** World **had** all **the** Diary **Holders** die **except** for **Yuno,** who **went** completely **insane.** In **addition,** it **gave** rise **to** Diabolus **Ex** Machina **and** Ganger. **It** now **exists** only **as** a **decayed,** undead **abomination.** The **twilight** Second **World** had **all** but **Yuki** die. **It** now **exists** as **a** void, **a** part **of** the **Third** World's **Heaven.** The **First** World's **Yuno** came **to -** well, **technically,** created - **the** Second **World** and **killed** its **version** of **her.** She **fell** in **love** with **the** Second **World's** Yuki, **who** made **her** realize **she** wasn't **as** full **of** darkness **as** she **thought -** and **she** made **Yuki** realize **he** wasn't **as** full **of** light **as** he **thought.** Two **twilight** gods, **in** a **relationship** that **transcends** time **and** space. **The** light **Third** World **is** ruled **by** the **Second** World's **Yuki,** a **dark** god **who** has **regained** the **light** he **lost,** and **the** Third **World's** Yuno, **a** light **goddess** who **has** the **dark** memories **of** the **First** World **Yuno.** Their **servants** are **three** Murmurs, **one** from **each** world. **The** First **World** Murmur **fell** to **the** First **World** Yuno's **darkness,** but **redeemed** herself. **The** Second **World** Murmur **remains** neutral, **simply** doing **as** commanded. **The** Third **World** Murmur **is** primarily **light,** but **briefly** fell **to** darkness **under** Deus' **orders** to **prevent** the **Third** World **Yuno** from **finding** out **the** truth **of** the **nature** of **her** timeline."

"And what about the fourth timeline, the other twilight one?"

" **Ah,** yes. **The** Paradox. **Your** counterpart **was** the **hero** of **that** story, **replacing** Yuki, **who** had **been** injured **by** Takao, **and** Yuno, **who** had **accidentally** been **erased** by **Murmur.** You **and** Murmur - **again,** light **and** dark - **fought** against **the** darkness **of** the **world,** replacing **it** with **light.** You **saved** Tsubaki **from** her **cult;** if **you** hadn't, **she** would **have** gone **down** a **path** darker **than** you **could** ever **imagine.** Her **darkness** became **twilight.** A **similar** thing **happened** in **the** Second **World** to **Minene,** who **now** resides **in** the **Third** World."

"I thought you said that only Yuki survived."

" **Well,** I'm **only** being **told** this **information** as **I'm** giving **it** to **you.** "

"By who? Your 'true' god?"

"Correct. **Now,** back **to** Deus. **Deus** manifested **himself** in three **forms:** the **Father,** the **Son,** and **the** Holy **Spirit.** The **Father** is **his** current **form,** the **Son** was **an** experiment **that** went **wrong,** and **the** Holy **Spirit** was **implanted** within **us.** We **use** the **Spirit** as **a** conduit **for** the **light** god's **power,** giving **us** our **abilities.** Deus **doesn't** know **this.** I **suppose** one **could** say **he's...** 'in **the** dark'."

Aru gave him an annoyed look.

" **Nothing?** Alright, **then.** Deus **created** the **first** two **angels,** twin **brothers:** Lucifuge **Rofocale** and **Lucifer.** They **were** both **beings** of **twilight.** The **angels** that **became** demons **were** beings **of** darkness, **while** the **angels** that **remained** with **Deus** were **beings** of **light.** Although, **since** demons **were** beings **of** light **who** fell **from** grace, **and** angels **are** capable **of** doing **morally** questionable **things** as **long** as **Deus** wills **it,** I **suppose** you **could** consider **them** all **beings** of **twilight.** Anyway, **Lucifer** split **himself** in **half** after **the** Fall: **the** part **still** named **Lucifer** became **a** being **of** light, **while** the **part** now **known** as **Satan** became **a** being **of** darkness."

"But aren't they both evil?"

The Observer laughed. " **Good** and **evil** are **subjective.** Light **and** darkness **are** not. Also, **'Lucifuge'** means **'He** who **flees** the **light',** while **'Lucifer'** means **'Light-** bringer'. **Anyway,** moving **on** to **Ganger.** He **is** a **creature** of **darkness,** while... **actually,** I **don't** feel **like** explaining **the** concept **of** Gangers **to** you. **You'll** find **out** on **your** own **eventually.** "

"Wait...Gangers? As in, more than one?!"

"Yes, **but** let's **not** discuss **that** right **now.** At **the** moment, **there's** only **one** in **existence,** so **you** don't **have** much **to** worry **about.** One **could** consider **me** an **'anti-** Ganger' **of** sorts, **really.** Finally, **after** Deus **and** Rahab, **Lucifer** and **Satan,** and **the** third **light** half **and** Ganger, **there's** me **and** my **counterpart:** the **fourth** and **final** reflection **of** the **two** gods. **I** am **the** light **half.** "

"And who's the dark half?"

The Observer smiled. "Someone **you** know **very** well. **Someone** who's **spent** her **life** in **darkness,** both **figurative** and **literal.** "

Aru was horrified. "N-no, dear God, no! You don't mean-"

"Yes. **I** do. **Tsubaki** is **the** dark **half.** Did **you** think **her** occult **knowledge** came **from** nowhere? **Did** you **honestly** think **that** someone **who's** lived **through** what **she** has **wouldn't** develop **some** darkness? **Her** dark **half,** as **I** am **your** dark **half,** is **named** the **Sacred** Eye. **All** of **the** resentment **and** hatred **at** the **world** that **allowed** her **to** experience **her** nightmare **of** a **life,** appropriately **named** after **the** title **given** to **her** by **her** cult. **As** we **tap** into **the** Holy **Spirit,** she **taps** into **the** Whore **Of** Babylon, **as** she **did** when **summoning** Murmur. **Also,** she **is** a **reflection** of **another** powerful **entity,** from **the** same **universe** as **where** the **meteor** crashed. **I'm** not **going** to **tell** you **all** of **her** story **now,** but **I** will **say** this: **when** the **Sacred** Eye **becomes** the **Scarlet** Queen, **you** will **understand.** The **light** god **has** given **me** a **vision** of the **future -** he **has** shown **me** the **light.** And **there** is **one** more **thing** you **should** know: **a** reflection's **connection** to **their** god **can** only **be** finalized **by** some **extraordinary** event. **For** Deus **and** Rahab, **it** was **the** Big **Bang.** For **Lucifer** and **Satan,** it **was** the **Fall.** For **the** third **light** half **and** Ganger, **it** was **Murmur's** necromancy. **Tsubaki's** event **and** your **event,** while **different,** are **subtle** and **connected.** When **she** was **a** child, she **wandered** into **a** stone **portal** to **the** Dreamlands, **located** under **her** temple. **A** similar **one** is **in** the **basement** of **this** house. **If** you **analyze** those **portals,** they **will** both **contain** over **99%** iron **and** a **small** percentage **of** nickel - the **same** composition **as** a **type** III **iron** meteor. **You** see, **when** the **meteor** hit **the** other **Earth,** the **impact** was **so** great, **that** two **fragments** flew **into** our **universe.** They **were** attracted **to** areas **where** the **reflections** would **be:** the **Omekata** temple **for** Tsubaki **and** the **Sacred** Eye, **and** the **house** for **us.** They **fell** onto **ley** lines - **veins** of **magical** energy - **which** overrode **their** connections **to** the **universe** of **the** gods, **and** replaced **it** with **a** connection **to** the **Dreamlands.** "

The Observer stood up and walked over the to the bars of his cage. "I'm **the** only **reflection** that **knows** any **of** this."

He grabbed Aru's shirt through the gaps between the bars, and pulled him in closer. " **LET ME SHOW YOU THE LIGHT!** "

Aru began to see visions of the future. The first was Ganger, limbs longer than any human's, and with a sewn-on face.

" **Y̧̻͉͓͈͊ͭ́o̟͙ͨ͆̇͂̐͂͌̊̀u̙̜̰̲̼̰̥ͯͯ̌̾ͮͅr̬͍̻̱̮̞̝̙͔ͪ̐͛͒ͭͥ̏** **͈͓ͮ̐o̩̩̱̟͇̭͕̩ͯ̅̋ͩ̂̕n̢̯̼̠͉̙̬̅ͤͭ̃̌̓̚͜ľ̞̲̯͉̣ͭͥ̽ͅỹ̴̧̰͈̘͉̠̹ͪ̀̍ͬ̔̂͌͑͝ ̵͍̑ͣ̈̿̓͒͆̄ḩ̘̗̜̝͉̠ͪǒ̸̞̺͈̄̾̄̃̀̂͠p̵̮͙̻̯̻̲͍̂̎͂́̓̿ͤ̿̀̕e̙ͥ̂̋̊͑̑̈ ̷̢̯̤͔̩͇̑̉ͣͨ̏͂̂̈o̶̡̳̲̙̐͊̌̔͗́͞f̶̗̘͖̰̝̗̽̂̿ͪ̅͢ ͍̗̏ͬ̔ͤ̓ͭ̚f̢̟̰̥͓͙̺͉̿͂́ͅủ̥͂ͧ͂͢t̷͔͌ͣ̋͆ͪ̉͑̕͡ų̮̥̳̮̓̋͗͐ͦͩr̛̙̼̀̉́͞e̓ͫ̍͜͏͈̮̖̫ ̛̩̣̣̖̹̩̥̙̀̄i̦̘ͤ͑̾ͪļ̄͑ͤͬ̒̂̌̇҉̮͇͕͖̲l̡̡̻̜͋ͤụ̷̗̪͕̲̟̭̯ͮ̈́̉̾̀s̪͉̬͋̈́̉͆͐͗̇̾̀͢͝ĩ̹͙̥̠̰͚̼̋̊̎͋̀͜͢o̢̻̔̈̌̔ͯ̈̊͢n̘̩͈̍ͦ̊͋̑̉ ̶̯̮̗̓ͫͪ͂̈́̚p̈́̽ͪ͐͛ͨ҉̢̛̖̰̫̤r̴̹͕͎̦̻͉̖̾̽͒̌̑́į̪͔̹̭̰̫͕̼͇ͤ́̆m̶̼̭͍̯̤͚̤͍̌ͨ̈ͭ͛ͤ̽ͨ͒a̡̲̬̘̦̮̩ͮ̉ͧ̀̇͡͡t̼͙͎̯͉̻ͩͤ̈́͟ę̸̴͔̥͓̫͈̞̩̮ͧ̐ͬ͛͊̏̄̿̓s̼̜ͭ͌͆͑̌̒ ̬̟̅͒͐̂b̴̧̫̪̻͈̫̜̎ͯ͟o̢̪̹͉͖̫̝̮̤ͩ͒̏ͭͦ̓ͤ̊͡w̵͕͖̲̫͈̫̥͎͆͛̀͝ ̩͍͎̘̮̘̦̭ͨ̌̅̓͆͆̅̎͜t̡̙̗̤̂ͤͦ̂ͩ̀o̵̸̮͖̱̩͙̲ͣ̍ͤ̕ ̰̗̏ͦ͠î̙̺̤̜͖̻̟̓l̪͍͇̻̄͡ľ̙̟͙͎͕͚͎͗̽͌ͅú̶̦̹͙̥̯̲̜̭̏̎m̬͇̦̝̰͂̋ͫ͟͞͞í̛̙̲̓̅̀n͔͓̱̺͎̙͚͇͊̽̿̿̌ͬ͡ă̌̏ͮ̑̚͏͈̠̣̼̹̗͙͍tͧ̆ͬ͂̋ͩ̐ͨͦ҉̛̮͔̗̪͔̜ͅî̴̼̘͇̍̒̚͟͜o̮̹͕̲̥̪̭͛ͪ̂̄͋͋ͨͦ́͡ň̡̛̦̰̱̣̤͈͖̉̄ͨ͝.͙̟̞́̄̂ͨ́͟͡ ̶͙̻̰̭̳͖͙̹͋̉̍ͩ̂͋͒̐͠** "

He saw Yuno, glaring at Tsubaki and holding a knife.

" **̶̢̫͎͕͖̳͙̽̋̽͛̋̄̌ͬ͑͡M̡̻̘͇̐̃͊͋̎ͧ͗̌̔e͋ͪ͏̵̦͍͢å̢̱̪̭̬̯̭̗̅ͪ̍̑́ͥ͛ͨͅţ̟͍̥̪͈̦͗͋͗ͥ͋ͤ ̷̧̳̯̪̲͎̼̤̯ͥc̓̑͐ͮ͌ͪ҉̸̶͎̘͍̥h̸̷͚̤̼̯͙̞͖̦͂ͤͤͫͪ͂̕ͅą̴̬̞͙̯̹ͣ̑i͎̻̹̖̩̠͖̊̽̄͞ṋ̡̬̼̤̜̽͌ͥ̌̕s̳͇̦̰̝̼ͭͮ͌ͣ̿͐͜͠ ̞̺̟̪̗̰͛̊̈ͪ̊̽̾͑̚͝͠ͅͅy̢̨͔̘͇̯̝͈̝̼̥ͬ̽̑̍o̙̬̳̖͗̾̈́ͣ͑̈̈u̶̡̮͕̗ͮ̄͋͋̃̍r̙͕̻̰̜̱̬͋̈̽̔ͮͭ͗̉̈ ̜̘̠͓ͮ̀̚͠i͐ͮ́̅҉̠̱̱n͍̦̠̾ͯ̕ͅĕ̓̍͑͆́͛̇̕͏̗̪̳̜̺̬v̸̧̖̝̙ͣ̋̏ͨͫ̅͒̽ỉ̵̡̜͓̱̺̮͊͆͒ͮͮt̥͊͑̓̈́̈́ͧ̚à̻̻͎͗̍͌͛ͭ̊̕b͚͙͉̭͛̽͋ľ̸̫̊͛e̗͎̝̜͕̙̱ͣ́̀ ̡͔̺̞̱͎̼͖͌̄̓c̸̘̣̰̯͓̹͕͇ͨͮ͐͒̔̈́̓̾̚ō̵͉̰̮̤̤̲̜͓̓̓̓ͭ̍̋͊͗͞g̯̭̰̺͉̓͛͌̆ͩ̋n̸̢̼̲͎͓ͨͣͮ͛ͬ̔į̩͚͓̤̹͖̺͇̉ͫͅt̝͚̺͔̗̃̀̍̈̐̒̍̍į̷̹̯͈͔̱̰̂͛̊̃͗͂̈̀͊o̙͈̩̥̬̩̰̲͆ͥͩ̓͞n̵̪̫̞͔̮̺͔͔ͥͩͩ͋ͫ ̻̜̘̯̂͌͜͜t̶̴͎̼͖͕͖ͪ̕h́ͪ͗ͪ̀͝ͅo̸̮͚̤̻͐̃̂̀̾ͭ̈̓͗u̴ͬͬ́͌͡҉̦̭̗̳̯͈̲̥ͅg̷͔̩̼̞̜̭͓̖̔̕͞h̖ͭ̏ͯ̕ṫ̨̨̥͎̳͕͖̽̋͆̍͞s̶͕̰̙̼͉̳ͩ͊ͮͪ̎͑̏̓ ̫̤̙͍̙̣̣͚̮ͭ̆i͉̳͍̱̠̭̔̉̀̉ͪͩ̄̃̆n̰̙̦̖̜̿̈́̍ͣͨt̵͇̞̜͖̟̦ͥ̀ọ͓̗̈̾ͣ͡͡ ̶̘ͥͣͦ̌ͪͮ́t̬̦̱̞̩̫̰̪ͯḣ̘̜͈̬̙̆͐͘ȅ̴̛̲̫ͩ͂̃̒ ̖͔̠̫̤͉̰̉ͯ̓̑̌͋̐̊͝p̛͓͔̖̆͗r̜͕͓ͤ̂ͭ͌͌͟ǫ̱̝̭̞̘̩ͯ̔ͫ͗ͪ̀̂̒͞p̒͂̀̓͏̬̥̩͎͍̹͖a̟̘͚̩̖̾ͨ̏̇͛̂ͣ̌͘g̃́̔ͨ҉̛͖̤̲̪̙̥̬̜̮a̡̡̛̰͓̦̘ͫͤͤ̊ṉ̦̪̖͚̠̯͋͘͢d̸̨̳͙͑ͯ̂ͪ̇͛͗̽͡a͈̖̲̤̭̦͂͊̍ͤ̊͋̕ ̨̞̤͇͍͋̽ͣô̾͏̹͎̰͎̣f̷̙̥̜͖̬͓̖̻̺̀̊ͣͬ̈́ͤͩ̀ͯ́ ͙̝̠̑ͨ̌͐̒̈̀d̫̰̜̔͋̿̆͗́i̹͖ͤͮ̊̈̿ͫͦ̿̄͜s̝̻ͦ̽ͯ͊ͤṱͭ̊i̵̤̥̙͂͌̈́̃̃̏͆̒̀̕͝l͎̖̳̘̓ͥ͊ͨ̌̓͐ͨͩ̀̕ļ̫́̀̽̅̽̓a̖͔̻͉ͧ͛̅̂ͫͦ͡t̞͍̬͇̋ͮͦ́ḙ̭̳͌̑͋̆ͮ̇̚͡ ̷̘͙͕͂̅̀ͩ͗̅̔ͅę͓̳͍̮͇͚͆ͪ͊̒̿̃̂̚̚ẍ̊̐͋̂ͨ͡͏͖į̩͎̗̻͉̹̪̭ͯͧ̏̇̀͛̚s̯̟̗͖͉̽̈́̇̉̎ͥ̈́t̨́̄ͣ͏̬͈̪̯͔̯͔ͅe̾̽̔̓̿̾̏҉̶̮̫́n͔̪͐̄͊̂͋́͢c̸̤͎̆͛͊ͪͣ̕e̞̗͓͍̦̣͊͂ͣ̒ͯͣͭ̓ͅ.̪̳̬̟̄̌̎̒̏̍** ̠͉̔ͧ̉̂̇̄"

He saw Takao being stabbed by someone wearing a yellow raincoat. People were rioting around him.

" **E̢̨̲͙͋͡y̰̦̖̹̙̹̭̪͑̒̔ͤ̒ͤ̈́̄ͅë͈̭̙̺̙̩̤̞ͥͣ̉̒̌ͭ͜s̶̴͈̤̗̱̞̓ͭͫ͂ ̨̱͕͚̮̞͔̂͗̽̆̂̓̊͊̃͟b̢̜̣͉͌̇̓͆̚͡ļͬͫ̏͏͖̲̰iͧ͆ͧ҉̶̬̣̦̪͓͝n͇͙̝̍͢͠d̏̒ͣͩͣ̈́͌̓҉̶̞ ̨̥̠̬̰̰͇̂ͫ͊̀͌̎͜t̩̞͉͔̝̺̠̬̂ͭ̍͐ṍ̢͓͚̣́̇̊̅̃̀̕ ̨̛͇̼̳̞̙͎̊̍̍ͪͬͅt̛͋ͨ̿͑͛̈́҉̱̳̗h̦͈̼̦̘ͦ̄̎̓͟ė̢̛̗̻͖͙͈̫̉̽ͦ͂̍̈̂͟ ̬͑̓͆̅ͦ͌̆͂͞p̤͕͔͆͋̃̀ͅư͉̝͇̤͔ͧ̌r͔̦̩̝̰ͦ̆̇ͬ̅͑̀͡ͅi̬ͧͩ͗̍̉̒͊t̄҉̝̟̬̠͖͎y̘̮̱͇̘̝̬͌̅ͬ̔ ̗̙̫̤̣̭̬͌̋̊̇͡o̶͖͎̓͋ͦͬ̀͘f͓̮ͯ̀͟ ̼̭͒̀ḟ͈̩̙̻͈̯ͤ̏͆̐ͪ̅͘͝ỉ̲̞̜̼̬̖̲ͫ̏̄̓͂ͩ́͠ŗ̢̢̱̲̟̦̗̺̊̒ͬe͉̝̹̲̐̏̆ ̹̀̈͝a̡̳̝̮̘͋̅̋̓̓̽ͦ́͟n̛̗̪͙ͦ̓̿͢͢dͥ́͛҉̟̗̟͕̦ ̯̹͓̲̫̫̠͖̣͊a̢̙̚ń̵̢͚̼͔̞̑̾́́n̩̹̻̦̿̓͑̈́̈́͜į̦̖̲̫ͥͩ̏h̴̡̧̬̫̭̎̌́̀̎͋ͥi̢͐̑ͥ̄̾͆̈҉̷̝͍͇͓l̶̗͈͉͓͈̩͛́̈ͨ̍̌́̚á̵̲̥̻̬̤̤ͬt̡͙̝̬̫̬̼͍͊ͯ̀̔͛̾̀͜ͅî̡̹͌́o̸̧̰̺̬̥̩̗͛̈́ͥͧͫ̏̆͑n̵͎̼̠̱̥̬͍͒ͦ̉͋.̱̯͉͈̞͎̝̍͛̽̏͒̾̊ͯ͝** "

He saw himself, holding Ai up by the neck. His eyes were glowing, his face filled with rage.

" **Y̝̰̳͎͙̅̉̐͆͜͞o̧̥͇̟̯̞͒̚u̸̙̲̖͔̻̇ ̷̶̦͖̹͈͈̮̽̄̕w̲͇̆͛̏̂ͦi̪͋͌ͣͣͣ̊l̫̬̺̪̍̓̇͡͡l̦͙͌ͫ̆͆ͫ̉̾͝ ̺͍͔̭̌̽̽͌́́k̶͎̤̹͕͎̤͕̓ͅn̟̱͙̂ͫ̉ͦ̈̒̈͋́͘ò͡͏̨̳̪ͅͅẃ̹͇̳̲̠̬̺͙̈͆̇͊̍ͪ̔̍͞ ̸̛̣͚̥̗͈̖͗̎͐̄ͧ̇͗͒t̻̖̝̩̯͕̺̱̆̋ͨḩ̟̳̬̥̱͙̩̼̿ͮ̄͋̐ͫ͠ê̳͙̝̥ͤ̓ͧͪͫ̅̀ ͬ̌̄̐͋̋ͦ͏͖̣̕ͅl͔͍̳͎̰̠ͩ͗ͧ̽͞ḭ̘̄ͨ̌͊͂̍̓ͧ͛g̲̥̹̗̲̙̠̋͌͛̑͋h̦̩͚̘̦̭̩̿ͦ͋ͤ̆̑̋̄͞͠t̢̻͙ͪ͆͢ ̷̖͖̭̯̿͗a̵͎͕̟͉͛͢͡n̈́͝҉̨̙͈̻̹̤ḑ̛̼̹̲̭̳̊̆ͨ̄̀̓͆͌͞ ̷͙̬̠̠̥̈ͣ̽͟͡p͚̫̭͖̹̫̬̰̌͌r͙̲̜̜͖̤̦͐̾̋̒̿ą͈̪͈̞̪̖ͮ͗̂̈́ͥͧͪ̃y̹͛̾̂͜ͅ ̞̻̩̬̖̯ͮ̆͐̚f̜̣ͭ̎̍ͯ̈́o̴̲̥͕͎͐̅̎̇̾̕͠r̗͎̩̗̩̱̘̈̈̔͑ͦ̉̓͝͡ ͆́͗ͤͫͩ҉̘̦̱̳ḓ̶̨̛͔̲̙̾̈̃ạ̴͉̞̜̳͓̮̼̐̓ͯͣͤ͂ȑ͍͙̺̼̮̜͓̐̀ͤk̒ͫ̀̄ͯͪ҉͇͎͉̫̀ń̹̞͓̺͚͍̽͌̄́̇ͮ͞͝e̵̡̡̥̍ͫ̓͐̒̀́s̢̯̳͍̰̊ͨ͊̇̓ͦ͝ͅs̢̮͉̲̠̄̓̌̋͗͘͜.̨̝̗̳̂ͩ** "

Aru woke up. He remembered having a dream, but couldn't remember what it was about.

"Fuck. My head hurts."

Note: As of now, I'll be going on a hiatus to get my other fanfics up to 50 chapters!~

Only today did I think of adding the Observer to the SCP Foundation's He-Who-Made-Light/Dark mythos; extra points to whoever noticed Tsubaki's connection to SCP-231-7!~

And there's a significance to the the Observer speaking in a R'yleh accent like Nyarlathotep did at the end~


	51. An Announcement

Hi, readers!~

While I'm not yet ending the hiatus, I'm here to announce a spin-off of this fic!

Basically, it'll be kind of an anthology series; in other words, it won't really have an overarching story, more of a series of unconnected storylines.

Here's what to expect!:

\- Backstories for each character, including the Diary Holders, Murmur, Deus, and Nigger-Man

\- A detailed explanation of the different timelines, universes, multiverses, dimensions, and the omniverse as a whole, including the omniversal threats mentioned by Ganger

\- An arc about the War In Heaven and the Fall

\- Details about the various pantheons

\- How the SCP Foundation and the Cthulhu Mythos fits into everything

\- Answers for various questions (like, "Who is Rose and why did Tsubaki react that way when Ganger talked about her?" and, "Who are Lucifer's Diary Holders?")

\- And probably more!~

So be sure to read The Fourth World: Old Testament whenever I decide to write it!~


	52. Yeet

Hey, everyone!

Just wanted to let anyone wondering that I haven't given up on this; I've been working on some other fic ideas, and some of the plot for this one!

There will be updates eventually, but I don't know when that will be.

But I know some of you are curious about Ganger, so I decided to come up with theme songs for him and the rest of the First World Diary Holders, who haven't been introduced yet:

Yuki/Ganger: The Black Dahlia Murder - In Hell Is Where She Waits For Me

Takao/Ripper: Tyler The Creator - Blow

Keigo/Lightspeed: Bobby Bare - Daddy, What If

Rei/Aokigahara: Creature Feature - Such Horrible Things

Tsubaki/Koresh: Jack Off Jill - Vivica

Marco/Ignorance: Avenged Sevenfold - A Little Piece Of Heaven

Ai/Want: TeddyLoid - Me! Me! Me!

Kamado/Carveth: Pink Floyd - Mother

Minene/Antitheos: XTC - Dear God

Karyuudo/Talbot: Warren Zevon - Werewolves Of London

John/Nihilo Rex: Metallica - King Nothing

Yomotsu/Schizoid Man: King Crimson - Twenty-First Century Schizoid Man

Aru/Bystander: Archive - You Make Me Feel

So just keep on waiting, and make sure you check out my other fics!~


	53. The Inspection, Part One

Lucifer was in his throne room in Hell. His throne was ivory with golden accents, while the seat itself was bright red and incredibly soft. The room was similar in appearance, with ivory walls, large reflective mirrors for a floor and a ceiling, and a long red carpet with golden accents leading towards the polished oak door.

Lucifer was watching The Twilight Zone on an old-fashioned TV that was in front of him. The episode was about a man who gave his greedy family masks that would ultimately cause them to become deformed.

"I fucking love this show. Way better than fucking Hack Mirror. 'Oh, dude, what if your mum was a phone? Or what if Google Search was eeeeeviiillll? Look at how DEEP I am!' I could probably write for that show."

There was a knock at the door.

"Come in."

Lucifuge walked in with a clipboard in his clawed hand. His footsteps were muffled by the carpet underneath him.

"Ah, brother. How are you today, Lucifuge? I'm glad you're using the carpet, the last time you came in here, your hooves cracked the mirror. A shame that the cracks had to be covered up by the carpet, but I suppose no reflection is better than a distorted one. What do you wish to speak to me about?"

"Your annual inspection, brother."

"Oh, of course." He paused the episode with his TV remote and got up from his throne. "Tell me, who's first?"

"The crown princes."

"Very well, then. Let's go."

Lucifer walked out of the room, with Lucifuge following behind him. The rest of Lucifer's castle had a similar carpet, this one being a bit darker than the other one and covering the entire floor rather than just a single part of it. They came to a door and opened it, immediately being greeted by the smell of seawater.

One side of the crown princes' office belonged to Leviathan. This side resembled a massive swimming pool filled with salt water, with the walls made of emeralds. Leviathan liked his own castle better, as it had a larger pool, but this one was alright for work. Leviathan himself was thousands of miles long. In the pool were many large horned fishes, each three hundred miles long, with each of their horns inscribed with the phrase: "I am one of the meanest creatures that inhabit the sea. I am three hundred miles in length, and enter this day into the jaws of the Leviathan." Leviathan ate one of them.

The other side of the office belonged to Belial. It was a simple dirt floor, with onyx walls. Belial didn't have a throne, preferring to use his chariot instead. He was admiring a globe.

"Ah, Leviathan!" said Lucifer. "How are you, old friend?"

Leviathan roared in response.

"I see, I see. I suppose it is a bit small, I'll definitely look into that." Lucifer looked around. "Say, I didn't notice this at first, but where are your attendants?"

Another roar echoed throughout the room.

"Oh, shit. Lucifuge, is that today?"

"It is."

"Fuck."

Leviathan's attendants - Orion, the Vergillae, and Arcas - weren't with him. Instead, they were getting ready for a meeting Lucifer had with various gods; they were going to be with Zeus for moral support, as he had granted them immortality.

Lucifer sighed. "Well, I suppose they'll have to wait. Hell's business always comes before foreign relations. Let's get back to the inspection. What are you doing at the moment, Leviathan?"

Once again, he roared in reply.

"The usual, I see. Lucifuge, write that down: 'Causing floods and storms, and inducing envy; causing obesity, idiocy, and foolishness; creating pride in the religious, and attacks Christians by impeding their spiritual growth through causing the inability to pray, illiteracy of the Bible, sleep during religious services, along with mockery and nonacceptance of salvation; cursing families and causing idiocy and illiteracy in the children; causing painful stiffness of the neck and shoulders; giving gifts, healing, and miracles to Christian pastors to manipulate them into doing Hell's bidding, and convincing them to make Christians vulnerable to demons; causing mourning, arrogance, false logic, egotism, low self-confidence, rationalization, ambition to learn forbidden knowledge, distractions, weariness, deception, brooding, melancholy, depression, gloominess, mental dejection, panic, irascibility, rebellion, seduction, treason, idolatry of the mind, vanity, jealousy, suffocation, cruelty, and schizophrenia; causing lies, gossip, accusation, criticism, faultfinding and slander; and finally, inducing insomnia and nightmares.' You've certainly been doing quite a bit of work, Leviathan!"

Leviathan roared happily. Lucifer laughed. "Thank you, Leviathan. You've always been a good friend of mine. In fact, this whole conversation has me confidant that the meeting with the gods will work out! You and your attendants might be key to this whole thing; they can cultivate a relationship with the Greco-Roman pantheon for us, and the Egyptian pantheon already loves you for helping to build their empire."

Another roar.

"No, really, they do! They've totally forgotten about us not helping them with the Plagues because of you! You just might help us win the war against Deus with your popularity!"

A final, happy roar echoed throughout the room.

"See, there's that famous smile! Anyway, on to Belial."

Belial turned to look at Lucifer. He was tall, slender, and handsome in an intimidating way, with short platinum blond hair contrasting with his black beard. There was a muffled sound from underneath his stainless white robes. Belial smiled, revealing sharp, viper-like fangs.

"No, not you," said Lucifer. "I want honest answers, not just what I want to hear. Bring out your true face, Belial."

Belial laughed. "Of course, my emperor." His voice was seductively beautiful. He turned around, revealing a massive hole in the back of his robes. A copy of Belial, completely identical, was restrained by his neck and hands to the back of Belial's body by translucent blue chains that were made from spiritual energy. Each chain link had a silently screaming face on it.

The conjoined twin smiled, also revealing his viper fangs.

"I am the lord of worthless men, of the earth, and of the world itself. I give worthless words, ideas, and counsels, along with calamitous circumstances. My children are the uncircumcised worthless ones; the idolaters, the rapists, the wicked, the insolent, the opposition of God, unsteady associates, conspirators, and those who bring contention. I am the lord of darkness, wickedness, guilt, and destruction. I bring fornication, wealth, and blasphemy wherever I go. I am the king of lies and rebellion. I am the great necromancer and wizard. I am the lawless one, I am the one who requires the bloody flesh of the children of God to do my vile works. I cause hostility and give excellent familiars. I am the great lord of death, lust, temptation, confusion, and the animal nature of mankind. I bring about reconciliations, promotions, and the giving of titles. I force thieves to return what they have stolen, and in the end times, I shall be let loose against Israel. I am also the ambassador to Turkey."

"And you're the one who the Egyptians blamed for the whole Plague incident."

"That wasn't my fault, it was Abezithibou who hardened Ramses' heart in the first place. If he hadn't done that, I wouldn't have tried to help his sorcerers oppose Moses."

"Tried and failed."

"I can't believe you gave all that praise to Leviathan, when I played an equal part in building Egypt!"

"Leviathan didn't fuck up in public, Belial. Now, tell me, what is your opinion of my current plans?"

"The ones I know about? They're alright, I guess. In my opinion, they're taking too long to set up."

"Have patience, Belial. Everything will be clear in time."

"That's what you said a millennia ago, asshole."

Lucifer sighed. "See, this here is why I'm always conflicted about talking to you like this. On the one hand, I don't get a useless yes-man, because this side of you can't lie. On the other hand, I get an annoying dickhead for an adviser. You can put yourself away now, Belial."

Belial turned back around. His lying body now faced Lucifer again.

"Your plans all sound great to me, my emperor!"

"Shut the fuck up, you kiss-ass."

Lucifer turned towards the door. "Lucifuge!"

"Coming, brother."

The two walked out of the room.


	54. The Inspection, Part Two

"Who's next, Lucifuge?"

"The Seven Princes."

"I see. I do hope that Aamon and Abaddon are enjoying their new promotions."

They walked into another room. A large table was in the center, with seven chairs around it.

Four of the chairs seated Beelzebub, Belphegor, Asmodeus, and Mammon. In another chair was seated Aamon.

Aamon resembled a blue werewolf with the head of a raven, with the feathers of a little owl on top of his head. His head had doglike teeth in his beak. He had a serpentine tail that was segmented like a worm's, the hands, legs, and feet of a lion, and he had the wings of a falcon. Smoke came out of his mouth. Aamon was one of Lucifer's demon creation projects; he was artificially created from the spiritual energies of the gods Amun and Baal-Hamon.

In another chair was a black iPad, with a video chat app opened. The iPad showed Abaddon chained to a stone wall at the bottom of the Abyss.

Abaddon was formerly a seraph named Muriel, who fell much later than the other demons. It was he who gathered the dirt used to create Adam, and he also helped Moses block out the sun over Egypt. Eventually, however, he became too powerful and destructive, so Deus imprisoned him in the dark Abyss, located in Hell, where he will remain until the Apocalypse. While Muriel was a small angel, glowing with white light, and had wings of steel and silver, Abaddon was an eight foot tall demon, resembling a man with dark skin, a black mustache and beard, black hair, and black eyes. Two of his six wings had black feathers; in fact, he was so dark that it was hard to see him on the iPad. The other four were that of a giant locust. Inside his mouth were a set of large locust mandibles; the left one contained venom that was at the constant temperature of absolute zero, while the right mandible's venom was at the Planck temperature constantly.

Beelzebub had changed recently; Lucifer had used him as an experimental storage for the Antichrist, and the results were...unexpected. While the Antichrist now existed as a small cloud of vaguely sapient gas hanging around Lucifer's palace, Beelzebub now had a sort of growth on his back, caused by using a live virgin female Shedim as the surrogate and merging it with Beelzebub's back to imbue it with more demonic power. The growth formed from the now dead Shedim was a small, withered, reddish-purple thing that appeared to have something inside of it, hunched over in a fetal position. Occasionally, one could swear that whatever this was pressed against the inside of the growth, giving impressions of ram-like horns and a forked tongue. This was made even more notable as the Shedim itself, in order to give the Antichrist a physical form, was also impregnated with an entity that mortals referred to as a "Jumpity-Jim" or, if they were feeling intelligent - or what passes for intelligent among mortals - a "Primate Horrific". However, demons knew the truth of the creature - that it was, in fact, the juvenile form of a Dimensional Shambler, a creature of one of Hell's neighboring dimensions. Essentially, Lucifer failed in impregnating Beelzebub with the Antichrist, and instead impregnated him with a mutant Dimensional Shambler.

Lucifer sat in the final chair.

"Now then, let's begin. Abaddon, you first, and then we'll go to the left around the table."

"I am Abaddon, the Destroyer, formerly Muriel. I bring the sin of Wrath upon all; my rage brings down earthquakes, tsunamis, storms, and tornadoes. I shall not rest until all of Deus' creation returns to dust and ashes."

"I am Aamon. I can create reconciliations and love, or I can create feuds and conflicts. Through this I bring about Envy. I know all things, past and future. I can become invisible and create life in the form of smaller versions of myself - however, these are weak and mortal. Unless my summoner is wearing a silver ring on his middle finger, I shall kill him with my breath. I was once summoned by the Nazis so they could sample my breath, creating Zyklon-B."

"I am Mammon. I bring about powerful feelings of Greed within men, causing them to hoard and desire riches, to the point of creating injustice to obtain them. It was I who first taught them how to mine, and in time, I shall strip Heaven's roads of their golden pavement. I am also Hell's English ambassador. And also, Lucifer, I do hope that your conference with the gods will not go poorly; if it does, it will surely ruin my business relationship with Zeus. Hell's minerals have already been mined out by my company to build Pandemonium, so if we want to build anything else, we'll have to buy it."

"I am Asmodeus Shamdon. I can bring passion or remove it; through this, I cause the sin of Lust. I twist sexual desires in men. I teach arithmetic, geometry, astronomy, and all handicrafts. If my summoner has removed his hat, I give full and true answers to their questions and I can render them invisible. However, if they disrespect me by not removing their hat, I lie to them and reveal all of their secrets to others. I show where treasures lie. I am the demon of impatience, the sign of Taurus, and the month of April. I was named Asmodel, but I am now called the Destroyer Of Men, as Abaddon is the Destroyer Of Creation."

"I am Belphegor, the Disputer. I grant riches, the power of discovery, and ingenious inventions to men, and I cause discord, promiscuity, and orgies. Mankind, the idiotic, unloving race it is, prefers these to actual work, bringing about the sin of Sloth. I am the Lord Of The Opening, the ambassador to France, and the patron demon of the month of April, along with Asmodeus. I have successfully disproved Pluto's claim of true love being real."

"I am Beelzebub, the Lord of Flies. I bring the sin of Gluttony. I aim to cause destruction through tyrants, to cause demons to be worshiped among men, to excite priests to lust, to cause jealousies in cities and murders, and to bring on war. I caused the Salem Witch Trials and the Black Plague. I lead the greatest army in Hell, the Order of the Fly."

"Excellent," said Lucifer. "And Mammon, don't worry. Hell's business relationship with the gods will be stronger than ever after today. If I fail, Lucifuge wouldn't let me hear the end of it. Isn't that right, you greedy bastard?"

"Yes, brother."

"This guy's like a fucking Jew lawyer on steroids. He not only charges for his summonings, under the threat of stealing the summoner's soul, he also writes contracts with clauses stating that he won't appear on Sundays and that he gets the summoner's body and soul in fifty years. My brother, the damn Law professor." The demons laughed.

"Come along now, Lucifuge. There's still much work to be done."


End file.
